"The
first is ape drunke; and he leapes, and singes, and hollowes, and
danceth for the heavens;
The second
is lion drunke; and he flings the pots about the house, calls his
hostesse whore, breakes the glasse windowes with his dagger, and is
apt to quarrell with anie man that speaks to him;
The third
is swine drunke; heavie, lumpish, and sleepie, and cries for a little
more drinke, and a fewe more cloathes;
The fourth
is sheepe drunk; wise in his conceipt, when he cannot bring foorth a
right word;
The fifth
is mawdlen drunke; when a fellowe will weepe for kindnes in the midst
of ale, and kisse you, saying, "By God, captaine, I love thee.
Goe thy wayes; thou dost not thinke so often of me as I doo thee; I
would (if it pleased God) I could not love thee as well as I doo;"
and then he puts his finger in his eye, and cryes;
The sixth
is Martin drunke; when a man is drunke, and drinkes himselfe sober
ere he stirre;
The
seventh is goate drunke; when, in his drunkennes, he hath no minde
but on lecherie;
The eighth
is fox drunke—when he is craftie drunke, as manie of the Dutchmen
bee, that will never bargaine but when they are drunke."
Source:
Lists of note
Comment:
Our personal favourite is the fifth: "mawdlen drunke".
Nothing beats a bit of self-pity - Ah! The good old days! How we miss
them - NOT!
Cheerio
The Fellas
(Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
PS Our
thanks to this contributor
