How
does "group think" affect an individual? If we see a
mugging on the street, studies have shown that we are more likely to
help if we witness it alone rather than in a crowd. Why is that?
Because unless trained otherwise, we look for someone else, perhaps
someone more trained, to handle the situation, to take responsibility
for what is occurring. Look at any culture and generally speaking,
there are far more followers in this world than leaders.
Cults
exist because most people want
to feel part of something bigger.
However, by virtue of their association with a cult, members who
started out feeling uncomfortable with the cult/group—perhaps
they didn’t want to be perceived as "different" or
were asked to forsake unbelieving family members early on, or
didn’t want to be part of the cult’s aggressive sales
force—soon find that they end up feeling uncomfortable with
everyone outside the group. The need to fit in never really
dissipates, for involvement with the cult creates its own brand of
exclusion. That’s the oxymoron of cults. The table which I
created below shows it better than I can perhaps explain it.
Desire of Cult Member
|
Reality
|
To
feel accepted/ experience unconditional love. Have a sense of
community and purpose.
|
While
seeking acceptance, the cult member ironically forfeits acceptance
by up to 99.99% of "mainstream" society while embracing
the less populated cult world. Their attempt to "fit in"
is severely misaligned. A cult member never fully feels a sense of
belonging or a sense that they can trust anyone—other cult
members or nonbelievers. Tattling is prevalent in cults and
members are often turned in for perceived "sins." The
cult is never at fault and unconditional love does not exist. Just
as an abusive husband tells his wife, "You forced me to hit
you," members are taught that it is their weakness that
forced the cult to get "rough" with them and put them on
notice. They are taught that this is love.
Like an abused child seeking acceptance from its parent, or a wife
cowering to her abusive husband, the cult member is taught to
meekly return to the "fold," only to be emotionally or
physically abused again and again and again. Acceptance in a cult
is an illusion.
|
To
feel special. To be "chosen," as having the "way"
or "the sole truth" as part of an elite group.
|
As
mentioned above, the cult member becomes an
outsider to
society and their biological family as soon as they become
involved with a cult. Their involvement can’t help but be viewed
as dangerous by all who truly love them. But the more a loving
family member tries to engage the cult member, the more they (the
cult member), propelled by a cult-induced fear, push their loved
ones away. This behavior perpetuates and embellishes the delusion
that they are special and that others just "don’t get it."
This act of estrangement follows two of the eight points of mind
control described by cult expert, Robert J Lifton: a) Milieu
Control and b) Demand for Purity. In addition, cults use coercive
persuasion/ subtle mind control, fear and repetitive busy
work/indoctrination practices (studies/classes, etc.) to keep
their followers involved, believing that they have some exclusive
right of passage to something greater. Uniqueness and feeling
special in a cult is also an illusion because the opposite is
accomplished: you actually become a cookie-cutter clone and any
individuality and talents you may have possessed prior to
membership become exploited by the cult leader(s) solely for their
benefit.
|
Cheers
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
(our
usual thanks extended)
