“Morning
Fellas
Been
keeping an eye on the site as always, as always plenty of food for
thought and to get the grey matter working.
Back when
the site first started there were a few articles written about
characters involved with the Goodmayes, Altered Attitudes group – which used to be at 8pm on a Tuesday
evening, Goodmayes Lane. This meeting made it onto the Cult Where to Find, and from what I can see still remains there. Based
on recent information I have from AA members in the vicinity – it
has now closed down after a period of great decline and a fall in
numbers and regular members.
My view
(and I speak for no one else) is that the group caused a bit of
conflict with other meetings in the vicinity as well. There seemed to
be no love lost between the founders of Goodmayes and those who felt
like they had been chewed up and spat out by the group back in the
day who left to start other meetings (which went on to flourish).
There was the usual talk of issues and advise being given out about
medication, and also taking orders from self- appointed Guru’s who
didn’t have sponsors themselves. In my mind this almost created a
‘them & us’ divide in the local area between meetings.
Sometimes there would be an undercurrent of friction and resentment
when they attended meetings outside of their own little circuit.
Sharing would be uniform, and sometimes felt like the way they did
things was the way it should be done, and everyone else happened to
be doing it incorrectly. One thing I did notice is that the group
always turned up in numbers to support one another – I have to say
I admired their unity and it’s not something I happen upon too
often in AA these days. One or two individuals really spoke
arrogantly about how ‘we do this’ and ‘my sponsor said this’
(however this is not exclusive to that group)
Many
people I knew in other meetings around that area had been, or tried
to be part of the Goodmayes meeting but felt they had been
mistreated, misunderstood, poorly advised and invariably ended up
leaving either completely, or joining the masses in mainstream AA
around Romford / Barking / Dagenham.
I recall
one incident where someone I knew personally who was suffering with
another mental illness was advised to stop taking the medication as
they couldn’t get contact with their higher power and were not
technically sober. They were denied the chance to go through the
steps and were told they couldn’t be helped unless they were off
all medication. It makes me shudder to think of people giving out
that advice – and what could have happened to that person had they
not been picked up and helped by main stream groups in that area.
Though I don’t agree with abrasiveness of the updates about this
group in the Essex Area section from a few years ago, I can totally
understand why they would say these things and why people were so
angry based on the above – I would be hard pressed not to be angry
if I had been treated that way.
I have it
on good authority that two of the founding members who were at the
top of the pile walked away out of the blue from that meeting some
time back now. There has been much speculation about why – for me
unless I hear it from them directly I just put it down to the usual
AA gossip. I know that they sponsored many members, who sponsored
many members. This is a prime example of Pyramid sponsorship. Having
two people effectively control the group and then walk away has now
meant that this meeting is no longer open. It went into decline,
internal fallouts happened, attendance took a nose dive and it closed
down for good.
My
understanding was that no one there was sponsored outside of that
group, and when that happened, inevitably there was fallout or
friction within – sometimes long serving people being outcast and
having to join mainstream groups in the area. ‘Outside’
influences did not seem to be welcomed and I get the feeling when
they occurred it was seen as a direct challenge to the top. One of
the good things about not being part of that is the variety of
experience that different people, with different experiences and
different sponsors bring. It showed me that there is no one approach
at this stuff, no one way is right, that listening to other peoples
experience is a good thing even if you don’t have anything in
common with them – you can still learn.
There were
some bloody nice people in that group, it wasn’t all bad, nor were
all of its members singing from the cult ‘hymn sheet’ either,
some of them I still think about today even though I haven’t seen
them for some time now. Many of them couldn’t quite adjust to the
mainstream and from what I hear don’t bother attending meetings any
more seeming quite lost. Seems that the fallout from the top sent the
pyramid crumbling. This I find upsetting, as AA should be there for
everyone who needs help. The positive I took is that some ex members
saw what was going on and seemed to join the rest of us on planet
earth, and were welcomed in as anyone else would be. I am wary of
groups who seem to be doing things ‘the right way’ whatever that
is.
I think it
is safe to say this meeting should be removed from the Where to Find
now. I realise I have only touched the surface of what was happening
there as I was never on the ‘inside’ – however there are
lessons to be learned from what happened, and the effects on
ex-members.”
Comment:
The aforementioned meeting no longer appears in the online AA Where
to Find. We have amended our own Cult Where to Find accordingly.
The above
illustrates the problems arising when groups are run on a
'personality driven' basis. They fall like a pack of cards when the
'big cheese' invariably bites the dust eg goes back on the sauce,
'screws up' …..or to put it another way: all show and no
substance
Cheerio
The Fellas
(Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
PS Our
usual thanks to our correspondent
PPS Updates and general (and specific) information always welcome!
