Well
we don't propose to discuss further Wayne P's current
circumnavigation of the solar system. However In his latest offering (via
the unendorsed Road to Recovery (Plymouth) cult group website) an act
of contrition is almost presented, but then undermined by some rather
bizarre posturing! Something along the lines of: “Well I shot
myself in the foot but then hobbled on regardless (sounds like a good
title for a Carry On film!) undeterred by my act of extreme
stupidity(?), and moreover rendered (apparently) all the more
heroic for it!” More interestingly though this rather rambling
piece is illustrative of the controlling (and spiritually
debilitating) sponsorship system which underscores the cult's
philosophy(?). We discover that Wayne “took the steps (?) 24 years
ago” so on that basis we'd have to assume somebody in their fifties
or sixties. During this time he has been accompanied by a sponsor
“With an arm around my shoulder or a boot up my ass”, this poor
unfortunate apparently doomed to a lifetime of keeping (rather
unsuccessfully - and whilst hopping on one foot presumably!)) Wayne
on the straight and narrow (ie. the Road of Happy Destiny). Now this
does rather beg the question: Why would any adult require such
supervision? It might be understandable if one were dealing with a
juvenile delinquent or a more than slightly truculent teenager. But
someone in their fifties? Surely not! The law, certainly, regards
someone of this age to be capable of making sound decisions, and of
possessing a capacity to distinguish between right and wrong; in
other words of acting both judiciously and ethically. However the
main impact of the cult sponsorship system (some of whose unhealthy
tendencies are seeping into AA) is to render impotent the sponsee,
curtail their faculty of judgement, absolve them from the exercise of
responsibility, and moreover separate them from the full consequences of their
actions (as in “My sponsor said...”, “My sponsor told me....”,
“I always do what my sponsor....” and so on). Thus they are
trapped in a cycle of futile dependency, and are quite unable to
function apparently without reference to this font of all wisdom,
their All-Powerful, All-Seeing and All-Knowing sponsor. As for the
deleterious impact on the latter this is patently obvious. The
relationship simply serves to pander to their craving for power and
turns a budding control freak into an egocentric monster (see
narcissism)...
eg. David B, David C, Clancy I, Mike Q …..and sundry other 'big
fish' swimming around (in circles) in little ponds! Both Bill W and
Dr Bob warned of the dangers of “sponsor worship” and “unhealthy
dependency”, an admonition which the cult have clearly elected to
ignore in pursuit of their own twisted agenda. Their notions of
sponsorship err at best towards sentimentalism as they adopt a
patronising even proprietorial attitude to their 'charges' (e.g. my
sponsee, or even worse my “pigeon” (the latter widely regarded in Britain as
a type of 'flying rat')), and at worst towards the sinister as in
Joe McQ's comment about 'sponsorees'
[sic]:
“But
an alcoholic can do just about anything you make her do. If you
insist that she do certain things, she’ll get them done” and so
on in a similar vein.
Far
from encouraging the individual to develop a relationship with a
Greater Power of “their understanding” he or she is offered
instead an all-too-frail and transient human version, and this despite
the clear warning to the contrary:
“Probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism” (BB. Chapter 5)
“Probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism” (BB. Chapter 5)
The
second rate here is offered as if there were no choice when in fact in real life (or for adults at least!) there are ALWAYS choices, some of
which though we'd rather not make! And they are OUR choices - not someone else's!
Facts:
There is NO mention of either sponsorship, sponsees or sponsors in
the Big Book, in the preamble, in the steps or in the traditions (and as far as we
know in the Concepts either). The word “sponsee” (or indeed
“sponsoree”) will not be found in any dictionary.
But
if you're absolutely determined to get a sponsor at least have the
good sense to do a bit of research. Firstly see here: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship.
Next
- there's no rush! Sponsorship is NOT one of the essentials of
recovery! But honesty is!
Finally -
don't be too easily impressed. The following can easily be dispensed
with: circuit speakers, Big Book 'experts', the local guru (no matter
how prettily they speak!), anyone who's been immortalised on audio
media (CDs and the rest), members who are apparently almost orgasmic
with gratitude ALL of the time, the "misery is optional" brigade, service bores, religious nutters, sponsor obsessives, and
all other sundry emotional manipulators. On the other hand maybe the
following might be worth a second look: boring people who are just
getting on with it, raising kids, going to work and all that routine
kind of stuff, who don't make speeches, and just tell their story
without any big fanfare or fuss!
Cheerio
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
PS
We've recently heard (via our reporter from the Canterbury
(Kent) cult convention) that sponsors should now be regarded as
“Godfathers”! Can we take it from this that we are all shortly
to be made “an offer we can't refuse” by someone who bears a
marked resemblance to an overweight hamster with a serious speech
impediment? And by the way …. look out for the horse's head!
