From
time to time we're fascinated to discover that we are apparently NO
MORE! Now you can only imagine our surprise to discover via Twitter
that we were deceased .. or failing that – and even worse perhaps
- silenced by threat of imminent lawsuits! (As we have reported
before the “L” word has been flourished in our direction on a
couple of occasions but, to our great disappointment nothing has
subsequently materialised. Just think what we could do with all that
publicity!)
Well
we can only say our death was a bit of a shock. But as the numbness
wore off grief finally hit us right between the eyes, and we
collapsed to the floor weeping and wailing and generally gnashing our
teeth.. Oh woe we cried quite overcome by the realisation of our own
dread mortality. And then we paused to reflect on how frail life is,
and how little we appreciate it before it is so cruelly wrenched from
our grasp. But now death has wrapped its awful shroud about our
broken bodies and we are cast down to naught with all remaining but air and dust! Well we don't think you'll be in the least surprised
to discover the whole thing was a bit of a downer from our point of
view. “Misery is optional” or so we've heard our little pointed
headed friends say! Well you try reading your own obituary and
that'll put quite a different perspective on things! After a little
while though, and after the maudlin stage had come and gone, it suddenly
occurred to us there might be something rather incongruous about our
present state. Let's face it! When the grim reaper arrives the last
one to be greatly affected is the deceased themselves! So why all
this sorrow, and why this grief? We should be long past this by now!
And then daylight finally dawned, and the penny dropped! Perhaps we
weren't dead after all? Applying those tried and tested methods we
placed a mirror to our mouths to seek some sign of those last
vestiges of life! Then we pinched ourselves and to our great relief
exclaimed loudly “Ow!! It would seem that we were still in
possession of all our mortal faculties after all. Not dead but alive
and well! Oh what joy, what bliss! How wonderful it is to be restored to the land of the
living once more! Our delight knew no bounds and we were quite transported; now we were indeed “happy,
joyous and free”! Dancing around the office we rejoiced in our
new found vitality and then poured scorn on the foolishness of those
who would believe us dead, and with all our friends left so bereaved!
Shame
on you we say!
Cheerio
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous – and fighting fit!)
PS
Our Twitterer is clearly a fan of Francis Ford Coppola so not a complete tw** (rhymes with gnat) after all!
But think well before making us an offer “we can't refuse!”
