How to Submit a Topic or Question for Conference

Have you noticed how the AA conference is referred to as “conference” (with the definite article omitted) as if you were asking someone a question … as in “How to Submit a Topic or Question for ….. Dave”. Weird isn't it. Anyway, that aside, here's how it's done.

Briefly:

Anyone can send a question in.

It should be about something concerning AA as a whole ie. NOT about the complete absence of Jaffa cakes in your meeting or the fact that the group secretary insists on doing a second 'chair' after EVERY main speaker or even that 'drunks' keep on coming into the meeting and being a damned nuisance (perish the thought!). It has to be about AA generally eg. like the complete absence of Jaffa cakes at ANY meeting or the fact that cult members ABSOLUTLY INSIST on boring the rest of us to tears with their jejune (what a word!!), prolixious (another great piece of verbiage – which itself is fantastic!!!), scripted, and essentially FAKE sharing. (Ooh! Ooh! We can feel a question coming up!!).

The question's got to be in before the 31^st August (so you've got plenty of time)

Before sending in your devastating enquiry check out the Terms of Reference, previous questions (accepted and not accepted by THE conference)

You'll need to supply “supporting information” for your query eg. references to AA literature etc. But whatever you do DON'T - we repeat DON'T - make ANY reference whatsoever to ANYTHING happening outside the AA 'bubble'. As far as THE conference is concerned THE world outside DOES NOT EXIST. Remember this essential fact or you'll frighten them and they'll shut their eyes, put their hands over their ears and start humming loudly if you mention IT. And we wouldn't want that to happen would we! Would we?

You'll also need to declare THE intention behind your 'suggested' (a much devalued word in AA these days) question which again will need to be relevant. World domination, the establishment of a Caliphate in Barking, 'jihad' (we wonder if the NSA/GCHQ are picking up on this particular blog entry?? But then “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition” do they?) don't quite qualify as valid intentions for consideration by that noble band of men and women who currently make up THE AA conference (on the other hand they might liven up the proceedings somewhat!!).

Finally, with anything of substance or real interest tidily eliminated (we are being a teensy weensy bit unkind here!), you may despatch your missive to:

c/o The Wizard of Oz

Emerald City,

End of the Yellow Brick Road

The Isle of Dreams

Neasden

London

or alternatively send it to:

aainformation@gsogb.org.uk

Happy scribbling!!

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous … and already beavering away!!)