Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“Can a sponsor be too firm?

Some sponsors believe in being fairly blunt with a newcomer. They describe the A.A. Program as they understand it. They explain what A.A. has meant to them. They point out that there is no known cure for alcoholism, but that it can be arrested.

Having done these things, they leave the next move up to the newcomer. If the still-drinking alcoholic does not reach a decision immediately to join A.A., this sponsor believes in letting the situation alone.

This approach is not totally unsympathetic. Many alcoholics respect it and recognize it as an attempt to be completely factual about A.A., to avoid emotion.

The A.A. program is based on certain tested principles, which a newcomer may disregard only at risk. Firm sponsorship emphasizes this and usually works well in convincing the newcomer. Most A.A.s, however, recognize that firmness overdone can upset a newcomer. It should be tempered with sympathy and understanding.”

Comment: Yeah! They can be too firm. You need to 'tenderise' them a bit otherwise they're difficult to swallow! But what's too firm about this approach? You're just telling the guy the facts as you understand them (or to use AA parlance – you're merely sharing your experience, strength and hope with them). We're all grown-ups aren't we? We can all make up our own minds about how we want to proceed. We're not flogging deodorant. There's no need to dress it up or make fake claims about AA. Just tell them what you know. The rest is up to them and their Higher Power. On the other hand some people interpret 'firm' as just plain bullying eg. the cult. We've even heard recently a cult member inform a newcomer that unless they get a sponsor they'll drink again! Yeah. Right. We all know that's part of the AA recovery programme – NOT!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)