Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“Can a sponsor be too casual?

Some sponsors prefer to adopt a casual attitude toward newcomers with whom they work. For example, they are perfectly willing to spend time with the new member who asks for it, but rarely take the time or trouble to call between meetings or help the newcomer get to meetings.

Some newcomers actually flourish best left pretty much on their own. But there may be some danger in this approach: A timid or reserved newcomer may conclude that the group and the individual sponsor are not interested in helping.

Many present members report that they did not make a firm decision to adopt the A.A. Program until months or years after their first contact with A.A., simply because they were allowed to drift away from the group. A growing number of groups try to avoid this by establishing a program for following up with newcomers during a period of weeks or months after an initial approach is made to the group (see pages 23-24).”

Comment: Newcomers' capacity to be able to think for themselves and make their own decisions, and then act in their own interests seems to be grossly underestimated here. Simply because someone has been pouring large quantities of alcohol down their throats for a prolonged period of time doesn't imply that they are idiots when they sober up. In our experience someone who wants to sort their life out and stay sober usually does – sometimes even despite AA! Contrariwise someone who doesn't want to won't even with the best efforts of everyone around them. Remember that bit about “probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism …..” (AA, p. 60, Chapter 5, How It Works). The best thing to do with someone who has set their course upon recovery is - don't get in their way! And the last thing you want to do with someone who's not interested is pester them! (AA, Chapter 7, Working With Others – interestingly this chapter was almost completely ignored by Joe and Charlie (Primary Purpose) in their so-called 'Big Book study' – we wonder why! We quote (from an approved transcript of their talks):

“We don’t want to go through this next chapter (Working with Others) we don’t have the time, but I do want to look at two or three things in it very briefly.”

Cult members generally prefer not to follow the guidelines indicated in this section. It really doesn't suit the control freaks!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)