“40. Do the Yellow Card
and Anonymity Tent Card contradict our Primary Purpose? Would it help
us carry AA’s message to have a more accurate table‐top reminder
of the need to respect personal anonymity?
Intent While it is
vital that we respect the anonymity of the people we see in AA
meetings, not everything we hear in AA meetings ought to be kept
secret, contrary to the Yellow Card (“What you hear here...let it
stay here”) and Anonymity Tent Card (“Treat in confidence...what
you hear”). These cards may be working against our primary purpose
‐ much of message we should carry to the still‐suffering
alcoholic derives from what we hear in meetings. We are not a secret
society, but the repeated misrepresentation of Traditions 11 and 12,
reinforced at virtually every AA meeting by these cards, may be part
of the reason we are sometimes perceived as one, and often act like
one. Perhaps it would better serve us to have a more accurately
worded, Conference approved table‐top card on the need to respect
personal anonymity.
Background:
Yellow Card (“Let it stay here”). Anonymity Tent Card.
Traditions 5, 11, 12”
Comment:
Most members discover pretty early on that the Yellow Card isn't
worth the …..well .. the card it's written on! If we had a pound
for every time we've heard someone say: “I know it's a yellow card
matter but …...” we'd be rolling in it! The fact is that AA
members already disregard the card (sometimes for good reasons,
sometimes not) whenever they see fit. Similarly most members can
distinguish between gossip (usually malicious) and what constitutes
useful information to be passed on where appropriate. Moreover there
are some things going on in meetings which we believe should be
communicated not only to other AA members but to the public at large.
Hence the aacultwatch site. Of course guidelines already exist as to
what may or may not be appropriate to share in meetings. (See
Alcoholics Anonymous, How It Works, p. 58):
“Our
stories disclose in
a general way
what we used to
be like, what happened, and what we are like now.”
(our
emphasis)
If
members follow this advice, and avoid the disclosure of personal
information which they'd rather not leave the room, then that's the
end of the problem. It really is rather naïve to expect AA members
to observe standards of confidentiality which usually only apply at a
professional level (ie. doctor/patient relationship) where these
communications take place in a semi-public setting. The best means
of ensuring that that information goes no further is simply not to
share it in the first place. It is simply disingenuous to claim on
one hand that AA is full of 'sick people trying to get better' and
then assume that they will always act according to the strictest
standards of probity on the other! What people SHOULD do and what
they DO do are not necessarily the same thing! If a member feels the
need to communicate on a more private level they can, of course:
“search [their] acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding
friend” (op. cit, p. 74). End of problem!
See
here
for a full list of other questions that didn't quite get through the
'filter'
Cheers
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
PS
Of course with the cult you can forget any kind of confidentiality.
It's by no means uncommon for a sponsee's Step Four to be passed up
the chain of command for discussion – under the guise of consulting
with a whole hierarchy of sponsors. On one occasion a cult member
even tried to blackmail an acquaintance of ours by threatening to
disclose part of their Step Five. They picked the wrong guy! Our
friend told them in no uncertain terms to f*** o**!
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