Follow the AA program, not your sponsor

Extracts from the aacultwatch forum (old)

“Follow the AA program, not your sponsor. If you have a good sponsor she will encourage you to do this. If she doesn't, then she might not be following the AA program herself. It might be better to have no sponsor, than to have a bad one to lead you astray. Having a sponsor in A.A. is a suggestion, not a requirement. If you follow the AA program, then you will not need a human prop.

Dr. Bob: “…We have found it wise policy, too, to hold to no glorification of the individual. Obviously, that is sound. Most of us will concede that when it came to the personal showdown of admitting our failures and deciding to surrender our will and our lives to Almighty God, as we understood Him, we still had some sneaking ideas of personal justification and excuse. We had to discard them but the ego of the alcoholic dies a hard death. Many of us because of activity have received praise not only from our fellow A.A.s but from the world at large. We would be ungrateful indeed to be boorish when that happens yet it is so easy for us to become, privately perhaps, just a little vain about it all. Yet, fitting and wearing halos is not for us. WE'VE all seen the new member who stays sober for a time, largely through sponsor-worship. Then maybe the sponsor gets drunk and you know what usually happens. Left without a human prop, the new member gets drunk too. He has been glorifying an individual instead of following the Program." (Extract, The Fundamentals In Retrospect, by Dr. Bob (AA Grapevine September 1948) http://da.aagrapevine.org/

The Big Book:  “…Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must, and of course will want to go to the properly appointed authority, whose duty it is to receive it. Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk to someone ordained in an established religion. We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem. Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics. If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search for our acquaintance with a closed – mouthed, understanding friend. Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the friend. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or parents which will hurt them or make them unhappy…” ('Alcoholics Anonymous', “Big Book” online, p. 74 http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt6.pdf

The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: “…Our next problem will be to discover the person in whom we are to confide. Here we ought to take much care, remembering prudence is a virtue that carries a high rating. Perhaps we shall need to share  facts about ourselves which no others ought to know… …This person may be one’s sponsor, but not necessarily so… … Perhaps, though, your relationship to him is such that you would care to reveal only a part of your story. If this is the situation, by all means do so… … It may turn out, however, that you’ll choose someone else for the more difficult and deeper revelations. This individual may be entirely outside of A.A. – for example, your clergyman or your doctor. For some of us, a complete stranger may prove the best bet.” (Extracts, The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions online pages 60-61): http://www.aa.org/twelveandtwelve/en_pdfs/en_step5.pdf”

(our emphases)

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

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