We quote:
“Dear
Sirs,
I read
your website recently and would like to (constructively, I hope)
express my concerns about recent events as follows:-
Alex R
sponsors most of the females at Hampton Wick, Ormond Road and
Kingston Hill Monday. She has broken the long-established AA
tradition/suggestion/best practice that men sponsor men and women
sponsor women. Alex R has had two sponsors – Wally P and Rupert B –
both male. This (she says) is fine because she is of a different
sexual orientation. All well and good. However, the crucial
“grand-sponsor” relationship has become distorted because Alex’s
completely heterosexual army of (often attractive) female sponsees
now have a completely heterosexual (and very attractive) male
grand-sponsor (Rupert) and male great-grand-sponsor (Donald). Alex R
also has broken another long-standing AA tradition/suggestion/best
practice that a sponsor only have a number of sponsees that they may
reasonably cope with. Usually the recommended number was between 3-5
sponsees, depending on the circumstances of the sponsor. Alex R
married within her first year of sobriety, has a demanding full-time
job AND is doing a postgraduate degree part-time. And in less than 5
years of sobriety, she is alleged to have sponsored close to 100
females, although many of them have relapsed. At the present time she
has at least 30 sponsees, possibly more, the exact number isn’t
known. She simply doesn’t have the time to sponsor such a large
number of females.
The issue?
Well, about 3 weeks ago Alex R upped sticks without any prior warning
and decamped lock, stock & proverbial barrel to “somewhere in
America” where “there aren’t any mobile phones” and/or other
communication systems. Until “sometime in December”. She gave her
30 sponsees (well those she could be bothered to notify anyway) vague
instructions to “call Rupert if there’s anything”. Well, the
fallout from breaking AA traditions/suggestions/best practices began
almost immediately. 30 females have been left rudderless. That’s
why the best practice of a “manageable number of sponsees” was in
place to begin with. Precisely to avoid something like this
happening. Next, several of these females have feelings for the
attractive Rupert B and have been ringing him up non-stop. Remember
that Rupert B also has a double-digit number of male sponsees. He has
been busily dodging their calls. And one sponsee who has managed to
get through to Rupert has been suggestively telling him about her
latest relationship breakup. Again, this is why the best practice of
“men with men, women with women” was put into place. It remains
to be seen how many of the “rudderless” female sponsees survive
until “sometime in December” when Alex R returns. Bearing in mind
that “sponsor dependence” has been bred into all of these women,
most of whom have rung Alex R every day of their sobriety.
I once
heard an Old-Timer tell a group to “please leave AA the way you
found it”. Now I understand what they meant.”
Cheerio
The Fellas
(Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
PS Our
usual thanks to our correspondent
