Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“How may “outside” A.A. groups help groups and members in institutions?

This subject is fully covered in the pamphlets “A.A. in Correctional Facilities” and “A.A. In Treatment Facilities.” Also see Guidelines on Corrections Committees and Guidelines on Treatment Facilities Committees, Treatment Facilities Workbook and Corrections Workbook, all available from G.S.O.

Service Sponsorship

. . . A.A. service is anything whatever that helps us to reach a fellow sufferer — ranging all the way from the Twelfth Step itself to a ten-cent phone call and a cup of coffee, and to A.A.’s General Service Office for national and international action. The sum total of all these services is our Third Legacy of Service. — The A.A. Service Manual/Twelve Concepts for World Service, page S1.

Sponsorship in A.A. is basically the same, whether helping another individual’s recovery or service to a group. It can be defined as one alcoholic who has made some progress in recovery [ie. you don't have to be “recovered” nor do you HAVE TO HAVE a sponsor] and/or performance in service, sharing this experience with another alcoholic who is just starting the journey. Both types of service spring from the spiritual aspects of the program.

Individuals may feel that they have more to offer in one area than in another. It is the service sponsor’s responsibility to present the various aspects of service: setting up a meeting; working on committees; participating in conferences, etc. In this matter it is important for the service sponsor to help individuals understand the distinction between serving the needs of the Fellowship and meeting the personal needs of another group member.

A service sponsor is usually someone who is knowledgeable in A.A. history and has a strong background in the service structure. The A.A. member is introduced to a new language: G.S.R., D.C.M., area assembly, minority opinion. They will become familiar with the Traditions, Concepts and Warranties, as well as The A.A. Service Manual/Twelve Concepts for World Service, Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age and other A.A. literature.

The service sponsor begins by encouraging the member to become active in their home group — coffee, literature, cleanup, attending business or intergroup meetings, etc. The service sponsor should keep in mind that all members will not have the desire or qualifications to move beyond certain levels and, thus, the service sponsor might help find tasks appropriate to individuals’ skills and interests. Whatever level of service one performs, all are toward the same end — sharing the overall responsibilities of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Eventually, the service sponsor encourages the individual member interested in this form of service to attend district meetings and to read about the history and structure of Alcoholics Anonymous. At this point, the individual beginning this work should begin to understand the responsibilities of service work, as well as feel the satisfaction of yet another form of Twelfth Step work. Such individuals should be encouraged to take an active part in district activities and consider being elected to alternate positions in the district so as to learn about the responsibilities of various jobs in the service structure.

During this process it is important for the individual to continue to learn about the Three Legacies — Recovery, Unity and Service, and to understand that the principle of rotation not only allows them to move on in service, but also gives newer members the privilege [ie. it's NOT a right] of serving. Rotation also allows them to understand that no one should hold on to a position of trust long enough to feel a proprietary interest and thereby discourage newcomers from service.

Co-founder Dr. Bob said, “I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons:

1. Sense of duty.

2. It is a pleasure.

3. Because in doing so I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.

4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.”

The basis of all sponsorship is to lead by example [this will exclude cult sponsors by definition. They work on the basis of 'Do as I say, not what I do']. Service sponsors can impart to their sponsees the pleasure of involvement in the work of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is best done by stressing the spiritual nature of service work and by pointing out the usefulness of simple footwork and faith.

Now, through knowledge and experience, the newer member is aware that service is our most important product after sobriety. With this knowledge, the individual is able to share their vision with others and ensure the future of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Summary

Most present members of Alcoholics Anonymous owe their sobriety to the fact that someone else took a special interest in them and was willing to share a great gift with them.

Sponsorship is merely another way of describing the continuing special interest of a seasoned member that can mean so much to a newcomer turning to A.A. for help.

Individuals and groups cannot afford to lose sight of the importance of sponsorship, the importance of taking a special interest in a confused alcoholic who wants to stop drinking. Experience shows clearly that the members getting the most out of the A.A. program, and the groups doing the best job of carrying the A.A. message to still-suffering alcoholics, are those for whom sponsorship is too important to be left to chance.

By these members and groups, sponsorship responsibilities are welcomed and accepted as opportunities to enrich personal A.A. Experience and to deepen the satisfactions that come from working with others.”

(our emphases - our comments in red)

Comment: By and large sensible advice although this section fails to point out the obvious danger. A singular presentation of what service involves means that bad as well as good perspectives might be passed on to the newcomer. Over-reliance on a single individual (such as will be found all too often amongst the cult membership with their sponsor 'fetishist' approach) always entails this risk. As broad a range of experience should always be sought combined with a greater emphasis on the study of AA conference approved literature.

This brings to an end our survey of this piece of AA literature.

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(Coming next! aacultwatch's review of “The AA Member – Medications and Other Drugs”)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“For groups planning sponsorship activity

How does sponsorship help a group?

The primary purpose of an A.A. group is to carry the message of the recovery program to alcoholics who want and ask for help. Group meetings are one way of doing this. Sponsorship is another.

In some groups, the idea of sponsorship is broadened to include working with alcoholics in nearby institutions and, through correspondence, with isolated Lone Members, Internationalists (seagoing A.A.s), and Homers.

Active sponsorship programs within a group remind all members of the group’s primary purpose. They serve to unite a group, keep it mindful of “First Things First.

What procedures can a group set up to sponsor new members?

Carefully planned sponsorship activity within a group is often likely to produce better results than sponsorship left to chance. [Evidence?]

A typical pattern of planned sponsorship within a local group might include the following:

• A regular committee on sponsorship or a Twelfth Step committee, with members rotating frequently. If there is an intergroup or central office that keeps a list of local groups and the members available for Twelfth Step calls, such a committee may check to see whether the group has enough of its members on the office list to fulfil its responsibility.

• Regular beginners meetings (also called newcomers meetings) — particularly in larger communities where there are many newcomers. A Guide for Leading Beginners Meetings may be ordered from G.S.O. [These meetings are frequently exploited by the cult to target and subsequently engage in the systematic abuse of newcomers]

• Regular assignment of members to greet newcomers at meetings and introduce them around. In large groups, people on a hospitality committee may wear badges for the benefit of the newcomer. In smaller groups, the secretary may, during the announcements, simply ask newcomers to come up and make themselves known after the meeting, so they may be introduced to other members. [Another extremely daft idea – just what a newcomer wants to do when they come to AA – get up in front of a crowd of strangers and announce themselves – NOT! Get a grip!]

• Another suggested announcement. “If any person here does not have a sponsor and wants one, please see the secretary, who will arrange a temporary sponsor.” Where this practice is followed at each meeting, members say, it reminds the group of the value of sponsoring and being sponsored. [This just gets worse and worse! The initiative should remain with the newcomer at all times to decide when and where they (may) wish to ask someone to sponsor them – or not at all!]

• Closed-meeting discussions of sponsorship problems and opportunities. Some groups schedule meetings especially for this purpose.

• A file of names, addresses, and phone numbers of newcomers (who wish to volunteer the information), with notations showing sponsor or sponsors for each one. [Next thing they'll be suggesting is that we keep even more files on AA members including race, age, gender, sexual orientation, shirt size etc ….. In fact perhaps we should start registering our membership in future – see Traditions on this]

• Table display of Conference-approved A.A. Literature on recovery (including this pamphlet).

• Review of newcomers list by steering committee (or Twelfth Step or sponsorship committee) — with followup activity where it seems needed. [Wouldn't it just be easier to corral the newcomers to stop them straying off?]

• Study of Chapter 7 in the Big Book (“Working With Others”). [Probably the first sensible suggestion so far]

• Regular procedure (carried out by the secretary or the sponsorship committee) for welcoming newcomers who have just left institutions, treatment centers, or halfway houses. For instance, the secretary may receive word from the secretary of a prison group that a newly released person is about to attend a meeting, and the “outside” group is then alerted to the arrival of this newcomer. If it is feasible, a member of the group may even offer to meet the person immediately upon release.”

(our emphasis in bold print)

Comment: (some of our commentary is included in the body of the text above - in red between square brackets).

The above sounds ….. well.... dodgy ….. especially when you consider the activities of the cult … then it sends a cold shiver down your spine. This is an example of AA 'over-organisation' at its very worst. Whoever came up with this section bears all the hallmarks of a neurotic! Maybe a 'repressed control freak' in the making! Alternatively we suggest that when a newcomer comes to a meeting someone brings them a cup of tea (or coffee) – half cup just in case they've still got the shakes.... and then sits down with them one-to-one (so they're not subjected to 'greeting overload'). That member explains the format of the meeting, assures them they are under no obligation to stay, that they don't have to say anything (unless they want to in which case they are welcome). Moreover they are not obliged to sign any papers or pay any fees. If they're not happy with what they hear they're free to leave at any time and maybe try another meeting if they want. Above all that they are welcome. No posturing or 'showing off' is required here nor do they need any more literature thrust at them other than a Where to Find, a Newcomer's pack and maybe a couple of phone numbers. They should NOT BE ASKED for their phone number or contact details (let alone put on a bloody list!). In other words pretty well the complete opposite of what is proposed in the pamphlet. It's not SO hard to behave normally is it! KEEP IT SIMPLE!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“Can a member sponsor more than one newcomer simultaneously?

A.A. members differ in their enthusiasm for sponsorship work, in their ability to handle it effectively, and in the time they can give. Members who are willing and able to sponsor several newcomers simultaneously should certainly not be discouraged. At the same time, it should be kept in mind that sponsorship is, in a sense, a privilege to be shared by as many members as possible and an activity that helps all members to strengthen their sobriety.

Further, members who do too much sponsorship work may get exaggerated ideas about their abilities, may even risk their own sobriety. As in so many phases of A.A., common sense is the best guide.”

(our emphases)

Comment: As we've said before anyone who's sponsoring more than maybe two or three members is probably on an ego-trip and certainly of no use to any potential sponsee; far better a one-to-one relationship. With regard to “exaggerated ideas” Clancy springs immediately to mind (together with the ever expanding ranks of 'super sobers', 'Big Book experts', 'circuit speakers', 'gurus' and sundry 'con artists' who promise a lot and deliver nothing - henceforth to be denominated the 'trouserless ones'  as in “all mouth and no trousers” (Ooh! What images spring to mind!). As for "common sense" when it comes to the cult forget it! A non-starter!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship) 

Extract: 

“How should a sponsor deal with slips? 

It can be most discouraging to work with a newcomer who gets sober for a period, then has a relapse, or slip, and starts drinking again. This can be a delicate, difficult time for both the sponsor and the newcomer. The sponsor may be tempted to consider the newcomer ungrateful or even to give up. Here, we sponsors need to look carefully into our own attitudes, to steer a middle course between harsh criticism that would only build up the newcomer’s remorse, and maudlin sympathizing that would add to self-pity.

The newcomer, of course, may be even more discouraged and bewildered, and may find it extremely difficult to return to the sponsor and the group for a fresh start. (For this reason, many sponsors believe it important to take the initiative and call the newcomer.) In order to make the return truly a new beginning, it may be wise at this point to avoid postmortems on the reasons for the slip. Instead, the sponsor can help guide the newcomer back to the simplicity of the First Step and the prime importance of staying away from the first drink just for the day at hand.

Later, the newcomer may want to check the kind of thinking that possibly led to the slip, in order to guard against its recurrence. Here, the sponsor’s role depends completely on the two people involved. If the sponsor was aware of the danger signals beforehand, one newcomer may say, “If only you had told me!” but another may rebel at the idea of having been “watched.”

Regarded realistically, the slip can become a learning experience for both the person sponsored and the sponsor. For the sponsor, it may serve as a push toward humility, a reminder that one person cannot keep another person sober and that the Twelfth Step says, “. . . we tried to carry this message. . . . 

Most good sponsors emphasize that people who have slipped continue to be welcome in A.A. Successful sponsorship activity depends to a large degree on the understanding and love that the individual and group offer to a newcomer who may have one or more slips despite sincere efforts to achieve sobriety.”

(our emphases)

Comment: For our part we rather favour the 'running around in circles screaming “Don't panic! Don't panic!" before collapsing in a quivering heap' approach. But that's only for the more sober members. On the other hand one could take the 'I told you so' tack which is immensely satisfying for those among us who prize their own sense of superiority above all else. Then there's the 'how could you have done this to me' method which again is great for inducing the most abject sense of humiliation in the recalcitrant newcomer whilst allowing enormous scope for the sponsor (usually cult) to indulge their natural proclivity towards self righteous condemnation. But generally this extract contains good advice (which is why the cult totally eschews (another great word!) this pamphlet in their meetings. In fact if you want to wind up a cult member ask them if they've ever read it. More than likely they'll either say no or if they've been particularly well indoctrinated mutter something along the lines: “My sponsor suggested I should follow only their 'suggestions'” (cult speak for 'orders'). Either way they'll be completely clueless on the subject.

Note the sentence above: “Most good sponsors (which naturally excludes the cult version) emphasize that people who have slipped continue to be welcome in A.A.” True … unless you're attending a cult group. There you'll probably be told to keep your mouth shut and be sent to the back of the class … we s**t you not! After all you're a slipee now! Not a sponsee anymore! What could you possibly have to say which would be of any interest or use to the rest of us!? (heavy on the irony here!). But we've known members of AA who've slipped and slid for decades and then finally got sober. And boy do you need to listen to what they've got to say!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“When newcomers resist “the spiritual side” of the program, what can sponsors do?

First of all, we can relax and remember that sponsorship does not mean forcing any specific interpretation of A.A. upon newcomers. Most men and women who have been in A.A. for more than a few months recognize that its program is based on spiritual principles. At the same time, they appreciate that alcoholics have been able to achieve and maintain sobriety without any belief in a personal Higher Power.

Perhaps the sponsor might point out the distinction between the words “spiritual” and “religious.” As our Preamble says, A.A. is not allied with any sect or denomination, and no sort of religious belief is required for membership — only “a desire to stop drinking.” On the other hand, the help offered by our program is certainly neither material nor physical; we do not offer money or medicine — only ideas and the A.A. love of one alcoholic for another. In this sense, the entire program, rather than just a “side” of it, may be called “spiritual,” and almost any newcomer can appreciate a concept so broadly defined.”

(our emphases)

Comment: Yep! We're all for the 'relaxing' bit! Easy Does It etc. You'll note no doubt this approach is a complete antithesis to the cult's. In the latter case not only is the programme forced down the newcomer's throat but usually the belief system of the sponsor (so-called) as well! Only last week we heard directly from a 'newbie' who'd approached a cult 'wise guy' (much to the horror of everyone around him) only to be told by the latter that he held an 'orthodox' approach to the God concept and that the 'victim' (sorry ….. sponsee) would be expected to adopt the same viewpoint. We're delighted to report the 'rookie' declined the 'contract'! Each individual's concept of a Higher Power (or no Higher Power) is their business and no one else's! If you want to impose your views on others then jog on!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

PS Remember! According to the cult: resistance is futile! (see Borg)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“How can a sponsor work with a newcomer who rejects help?

In such cases, there is little a sponsor can do except assure the newcomer of willingness to help, when and if needed. Occasionally, it may be wise to introduce the newcomer to an A.A. member who shares more of the newcomer’s background and interests. Sponsorship is a flexible venture, and good sponsors are themselves flexible in working with new people. It is just as much a mistake to thrust unwanted help upon a newcomer as it is to refuse help when a newcomer asks for it.”

(our emphases)

Comment: Well, for starters, respect their wishes! Pretty bloody obvious isn't it! Cult 'sponsors' (so-called! We've got another name for them! Bullies!) take note. The cult 'factory farming' of sponsees is well known. 'Assembly line' techniques hardly suffice when dealing with people new to AA (or for that matter anybody!). Here's a rough rule of thumb – if your prospective sponsor is already sponsoring more than two or three people then maybe think again! It's not altruism that drives them. It's ego.

Again it is clear to see why the cult really dislike this particular piece of AA (conference approved) literature as well as avoid like the plague any reference to Chapter 7, Working With Others, in the Big Book. Thrusting unwanted help (?) upon newcomers is pretty much what they're all about!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“How can a sponsor handle an overdependent newcomer?

In the first days of sobriety, a newcomer is sometimes so bewildered and frightened — or so mentally fuzzy and physically weak — that he or she needs to be taken to each meeting and perhaps helped in making personal decisions. But such utter dependence on the sponsor, when carried past the earliest stages of recovery, often becomes damaging to both parties. It has already been pointed out that we stay sober through reliance on the A.A. program, not on any one member, so the newcomer’s chances in this situation may not be very good. And the sponsor may either feel harried by constant, unreasonable demands, or feel flattered and let the ego build up dangerously.

How can this dilemma be solved without leaving the newcomer disheartened? Many A.A.s, when first asked to sponsor, will have met with the newcomer and reviewed this pamphlet in an effort to avoid pitfalls. Most likely, the sponsor and newcomer will have discussed their commitments and agreed-upon expectations early in the relationship. The sponsor will also have encouraged the newcomer to talk to other A.A. Members with longer-term sobriety. Now might be the time for a heartfelt talk in which the sponsor again explains the importance of relying on the entire A.A. program, as well as their concern regarding the overdependence of the newcomer. If this conversation fails to provide a solution, the sponsor may offer to remain as a temporary sponsor until the newcomer can find a sponsor they feel more comfortable with.”

(our emphases)

Note particularly: “In the first DAYS of sobriety” - not the first YEARS..... Newcomers tend to get back on their feet pretty quickly.

AA members probably should read this pamphlet before even thinking about sponsoring or asking for a sponsor. Unfortunately in cult circles this particular piece of literature is regarded as something of an obstacle to their ego-driven, controlling style (as is Chapter 7, Working With Others) In fact in some cult meetings (eg. Hampton Wick Friday) newcomers are actively discouraged from consulting this piece of AA conference approved literature (see above). Clearly, from the above, the emphasis is very much on ensuring that the newcomer does not become dependent on any single AA member, an approach which entirely conflicts with the cult's elevation of the sponsor to Higher Power status. One only has to listen to some newcomers' sharing in meetings to recognise the degree of co-dependency (even downright bullying) that has been engendered by this perverse emphasis in cult circles. And isn't ALL sponsorship temporary?

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“Can a sponsor be too casual?

Some sponsors prefer to adopt a casual attitude toward newcomers with whom they work. For example, they are perfectly willing to spend time with the new member who asks for it, but rarely take the time or trouble to call between meetings or help the newcomer get to meetings.

Some newcomers actually flourish best left pretty much on their own. But there may be some danger in this approach: A timid or reserved newcomer may conclude that the group and the individual sponsor are not interested in helping.

Many present members report that they did not make a firm decision to adopt the A.A. Program until months or years after their first contact with A.A., simply because they were allowed to drift away from the group. A growing number of groups try to avoid this by establishing a program for following up with newcomers during a period of weeks or months after an initial approach is made to the group (see pages 23-24).”

Comment: Newcomers' capacity to be able to think for themselves and make their own decisions, and then act in their own interests seems to be grossly underestimated here. Simply because someone has been pouring large quantities of alcohol down their throats for a prolonged period of time doesn't imply that they are idiots when they sober up. In our experience someone who wants to sort their life out and stay sober usually does – sometimes even despite AA! Contrariwise someone who doesn't want to won't even with the best efforts of everyone around them. Remember that bit about “probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism …..” (AA, p. 60, Chapter 5, How It Works). The best thing to do with someone who has set their course upon recovery is - don't get in their way! And the last thing you want to do with someone who's not interested is pester them! (AA, Chapter 7, Working With Others – interestingly this chapter was almost completely ignored by Joe and Charlie (Primary Purpose) in their so-called 'Big Book study' – we wonder why! We quote (from an approved transcript of their talks):

“We don’t want to go through this next chapter (Working with Others) we don’t have the time, but I do want to look at two or three things in it very briefly.”

Cult members generally prefer not to follow the guidelines indicated in this section. It really doesn't suit the control freaks!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“Can a sponsor be too firm?

Some sponsors believe in being fairly blunt with a newcomer. They describe the A.A. Program as they understand it. They explain what A.A. has meant to them. They point out that there is no known cure for alcoholism, but that it can be arrested.

Having done these things, they leave the next move up to the newcomer. If the still-drinking alcoholic does not reach a decision immediately to join A.A., this sponsor believes in letting the situation alone.

This approach is not totally unsympathetic. Many alcoholics respect it and recognize it as an attempt to be completely factual about A.A., to avoid emotion.

The A.A. program is based on certain tested principles, which a newcomer may disregard only at risk. Firm sponsorship emphasizes this and usually works well in convincing the newcomer. Most A.A.s, however, recognize that firmness overdone can upset a newcomer. It should be tempered with sympathy and understanding.”

Comment: Yeah! They can be too firm. You need to 'tenderise' them a bit otherwise they're difficult to swallow! But what's too firm about this approach? You're just telling the guy the facts as you understand them (or to use AA parlance – you're merely sharing your experience, strength and hope with them). We're all grown-ups aren't we? We can all make up our own minds about how we want to proceed. We're not flogging deodorant. There's no need to dress it up or make fake claims about AA. Just tell them what you know. The rest is up to them and their Higher Power. On the other hand some people interpret 'firm' as just plain bullying eg. the cult. We've even heard recently a cult member inform a newcomer that unless they get a sponsor they'll drink again! Yeah. Right. We all know that's part of the AA recovery programme – NOT!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship)

Extract:

“Should a sponsor intercede with an employer?

By the time an alcoholic turns to A.A., he or she may already have lost a job or be in danger of losing one. If there is a job, it may involve working for an employer who is uninformed about problem drinkers and knows little or nothing of A.A.

Whether or not a sponsor should intercede to preserve another alcoholic’s job depends upon the individual circumstances of each case. A surprising number of employers, anxious to restore competent employees to maximum efficiency, welcome the news that a worker has turned to A.A., and are interested in knowing more about the recovery program.

An informative pamphlet, “Is There an Alcoholic in the Workplace?,” has been prepared to acquaint employers with the help that A.A. can offer."

Comment: Again are you nuts? If someone has lost their job because of their drinking we'd guess that their ex-employer would be somewhere on their amends list (that's if they choose to take that approach to recovery). If someone loses their job (drunk or sober) it's up to them to take responsibility for persuading their employer to give them a second chance, not some complete stranger (with or without an AA pamphlet). The person concerned is the best judge of what to do and how to deal with their previous work colleagues. This section sounds like AA is touting for business – which of course we're not supposed to be doing are we! Remember that bit in Tradition 12:

“Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.”

(our emphasis) 

Come to think of it this brings into question the whole function of the public information representatives in intergroups. Should they be approaching employers, schools etc at all (as some do) rather than merely responding to enquiries from outside agencies? From the above it would seem not!

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship

Extract:

“Should a sponsor lend money to a newcomer?

This is, of course, a matter of individual judgement and decision. Involved in it is the basic fact that A.A. has a single purpose: to help alcoholics with their drinking problem. A.A. is not a philanthropic or job-finding society.

Money, or the lack of it, has never been a key factor in an individual’s ability to get sober in A.A.

The sponsor who lends money to a newcomer does so at risk and may even be slowing down the new person’s progress toward sobriety. The newcomer who turns to A.A. for money, clothes, or assurance of employment is coming to the wrong place for the wrong thing. A.A. has something far more important to offer: sobriety.

Professional agencies can furnish other kinds of help if any are needed. But many alcoholics when sober can solve their own domestic, vocational, or legal problems.”

Comment: Are you nuts! And who's got any money to lend!! Thanks to the unswerving dedication of bankers everywhere to the principle of 'who can bury their snouts into the profits deepest' followed by the consequent ruination of economies worldwide the answer to the question: “Buddy can you spare me a dime?” can generally be answered with a resounding 'no'! On the other hand alcoholics can equally well be said to be extremely generous when it comes to providing lifts to meetings, a chat in a cafe over a cup of tea and lending an empathetic ear. As for the statement “many alcoholics when sober can solve their own domestic, vocational or legal problems” we would substitute the words “all alcoholics can solve...”. They have to. It's no one else's responsibility”

But remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship 

Extract: 

“Should a sponsor recommend hospitalization? 

The important thing to remember is that hospitalization is not part of the A.A. program and that a doctor, not a sponsor, is the person who should say whether it is required. Experienced sponsors are careful not to set themselves up as substitutes for doctors in dealing with any phase of alcoholism.

An A.A. oldtimer offers this reminder: Hospitalization or other professional care given to a newcomer “does not in any way lessen the responsibility of the A.A. member to carry the message in the best way possible, and to furnish good sponsorship. It is not good A.A. simply to dump an alcoholic into the lap of others because we do not have enough time, or because the alcoholic is troublesome and demanding. Most of us recall with gratitude the enduring patience and great kindness older members showed us when we were new ourselves.””

(our emphases)

Comment: Again AA's advice runs directly contrary to that given by cult sponsors who will generally endeavour to interfere in EVERY aspect of their victims' (sponsees') lives. Pressure is frequently exerted upon new members to stop using prescribed medication and withdraw from other forms of therapy (counselling etc) under the guise that the former represents “Alcohol in solid form” whilst the latter approach may focus on purely psychological grounds rather than 'spiritual', the two apparently being necessarily mutually exclusive (?). The cult's approach in this area (as in many others) entirely ignores the advice on the subject given in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' (and elsewhere in AA conference approved literature. See The AA Member – Medications and other Drugs. For the sometimes fatal consequences of cult advice see Dual Recovery Anonymous' section on Medications and Recovery and also here): 

“Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation. 

But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, Ch 9, The Family Afterward, p. 133)

(our emphases)

Remember: a sponsor is NOT ESSENTIAL to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship

Extract:

“How can a sponsor explain the A.A. program?

Sponsors will want to explain A.A. in the manner that each finds most natural and most likely to be clear to the newcomer at hand.

Some sponsors find that reminding the newcomer of the First Step — that they are powerless over alcohol and that their lives had become unmanageable — is key to a successful recovery. Many sponsors make it a point to emphasize that together they can do what they could not do alone — stay away from the first drink.

These sponsors remind the newcomer that A.A. offers a practical program, and that it has already helped more than two million men and women. They suggest the need for openmindedness in facing alcoholism as a personal problem, and they underscore the fact that it is up to the newcomer alone to decide whether he or she is an alcoholic and whether A.A. can help.

Nearly all members who work with newcomers look upon the A.A. program in terms of their own experience. They tell the new person that no one speaks for A.A. and that every member is perfectly free to arrive at an individual understanding of the program.

Some sponsors talk about the program in a more spiritual way than others do. But nearly all call attention to the source of strength to be found in “a Power greater than ourselves.” Again, the sponsor points out, it is up to the newcomer to determine what that A.A. phrase means. It expresses an idea that people of many faiths — or of no particular faith — can and do accept with complete harmony.”

(our emphases)

Comment: Again it is noticeable how far this approach differs from that adopted by cult sponsors. In their hands the AA message is reduced to mere rote, mechanically delivered, and with complete disregard for the individual circumstances of the sponsee. The latter are 'churned' through the 'cloning' system regardless of whether this is appropriate or even effective for them. Those who do survive the process then go on to replicate this with their own batch of 'prospects'. It's always interesting to observe the complete lack of originality or even individuality in their sharing especially when they're 'performing' to the gallery (and sponsor) at their home group. Here they have the opportunity to hone their 'script', the more adept going on to join the ever-growing ranks of 'circuit speakers', Big Book 'experts', 'gurus' and all-round 'snake oil purveyors' who thrive only when they are the centre of attention. Concerning Step Three they remain completely ignorant.

Remember: a sponsor is not essential to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship

Extract:

“Is there any one best way of sponsoring a newcomer?

The answer is no. All members are free to approach sponsorship as their own individual experiences and personalities may suggest. Some sponsors adopt a more or less brusque, “Take it or leave it” approach in dealing with newcomers. Others exhibit extreme patience and great personal interest in the people they sponsor. Still others are somewhat casual, content to let the new person take the initiative in asking questions or seeking help in special situations. Each approach is sometimes successful and sometimes fails. The sponsor has to decide which to try in a particular case. The experienced sponsor recognizes the importance of flexibility in working with newcomers, does not rely on a single approach, and may try a number of different approaches with the same person.”

(our emphases)

Comment: Again it is worth noting how this advice contrasts directly with the cult style of sponsorship, or dictatorship as it might more properly be designated (that is with the exception of the “Take it or leave it” approach. Needless to say our advice to anyone encountering this kind of abuse is to 'leave it', walk away and find someone who's actually interested in you as a person rather than as yet another cog in their 'assembly line' process!) As a rough guide to choosing a sponsor anyone who's sponsoring more than two or three people is quite probably in serious danger of tripping over their own ego, and certainly will be quite unable to fulfil their responsibilities according to the above criteria. There are, after all, plenty of people around who can do the job. It isn't that difficult to share your “experience, strength and hope” with another person is it!

And finally, of course, a sponsor is not essential to recovery. And NO sponsorship is better by far than BAD sponsorship!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)