A 'suggested' AA OATH and Alternate Preamble

The Bill Wilson Pledge of Allegiance to Alcoholics Anonymous

I pledge allegiance to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and to the 12 Step program for which it stands, one nation under Bill Wilson, anonymous, with an incurable disease, and ever lasting relapse and recovery for all.

The Bill Wilson Oath of Office for Alcoholics Anonymous Intergroup Presidents:

I do soberly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the Intergroup, and will to the best of my manipulation, preserve, protect, grow and defend the prospect hunting area of the Intergroup so that a plentiful supply of newcomers can always be feasted upon by all.

The Bill Wilson swearing in of Alcoholics Anonymous member:

Please place your hand on the Big Book. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, except when to do so would injure them or others or bring the AA name into public controversy, so help you Bill Wilson?

ALTERNATE PREAMBLE

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS is a group of, mostly older men who try to impose their brand of orthodoxy and purity upon others.
The only requirement for membership is blind obedience to what they say.
There are no dues or fees.
They love to talk about, and insist upon, a belief in a “Christian” religious tradition.
They constantly engage in controversy, fear, judgement and criticism, yet do not practice what they preach.
Their primary purpose is to make others feel bad.

The above is based upon experience, not the Big Book.

Comment: Satire …. but only slightly!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS Thanks to our correspondent

See also:

Plymouth (cult) Intergroup corruption 

For AA Minority Report 2013 click here