aacultwatch's
perspective on:
The
AA (General Service conference approved) book:
“Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: A co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous tells how members recover and how the society functions”
(an
almost as wildly discursive commentary as our 'take' on the Big Book)
This
tome is much reviled in cult circles (especially amongst the Big Book
nutters who regard it as almost heretical! (A point of interest: if
you're looking for meetings largely free of the aforementioned
'fruitcakes', and for that matter sundry other screwballs, then a
Twelve Step meeting following the format of the above text is usually
a safe bet). The text we will be using is as indicated above. And
now we come to:
“Sought
through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for
us and the power to carry that out.”
[Note:
This Step DOES NOT say: “Sought through prayer and meditation to
improve our conscious contact with OUR SPONSOR as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry
that out.”]
PRAYER
and meditation
are our principal means of conscious contact with God.
We
A.A.’s are active folk, enjoying the satisfactions of dealing with
the realities of life, usually for the first time in our lives, and
strenuously trying to help the next alcoholic who comes along. So it
isn’t surprising that we often tend to slight serious meditation
and prayer as something not really necessary. To be sure, we feel it
is something that might help us to meet an occasional emergency, but
at first many of us are apt to regard it as a somewhat mysterious
skill of clergymen, from which we may hope to get a second-hand
benefit. Or perhaps we don’t believe in these things at all.
To
certain newcomers and to those one-time agnostics
who still cling to the A.A. group as their higher power [a
rather patronising statement the implication being that at some stage
these poor 'unfortunates' will finally see the light! Maybe they
already have!], claims for the power of prayer may,
despite all the logic
and experience
in proof
of it, still be unconvincing or quite objectionable
[to the
best of our knowledge neither logic nor empirical evidence have
demonstrated the truth – or untruth – of such claims. This
statement is simply inaccurate].
Those of us who once felt this way can certainly understand and
sympathize. We well remember how something deep inside us kept
rebelling
against the idea of bowing before any God [it's
rather pointless bowing before something you may not believe in ….
isn't it?]. Many of us
had strong logic, too, which “proved”
[see
above] there was no
God whatever. What about all the accidents, sickness, cruelty, and
injustice in the world? What about all those unhappy lives which were
the direct result of unfortunate birth and uncontrollable
circumstances? [Yep!
What about them?? But see karma.
These propositions may seem more credible than the ones outlined in
this essay] Surely
there could be no justice in this scheme of things, and therefore no
God at all.
Sometimes
we took a slightly different tack. Sure, we said to ourselves, the
hen probably did come before the egg. No doubt the universe had a
“first cause” of some sort, the God of the Atom, maybe, hot and
cold by turns. But
certainly there wasn’t any evidence of a God who knew or cared
about human beings. We liked A.A. all right, and were quick to say
that it had done miracles. But we recoiled from meditation and
prayer as obstinately as the scientist who refused to perform a
certain experiment lest it prove his pet theory wrong [an
exception which proves what precisely? Bill W clearly didn't know
much about - or have a high regard for - the scientific method.
One scientist may well be tempted to avoid the experiment but you can
be damn sure the others won't!]. Of course we finally
did experiment, and when unexpected results followed, we felt
different; in fact we knew
different; and so we were sold on meditation and prayer. And that, we
have found, can happen to anybody who tries [note
the qualification – but then some have tried and found the practice
entirely unproductive]. It has been well said that
“almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it
enough.” [again note the qualification
“almost” - and see above]
Those
of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more do
without it than we would refuse air, food, or sunshine. And for the
same reason. When we refuse air, light, or food, the body suffers.
And when we turn
away from meditation and prayer, we likewise deprive our minds, our
emotions, and our intuitions of vitally [?]
needed support. As the body can fail its purpose for lack of
nourishment, so can the soul.
We all need [do we ALL need?] the light
of God’s reality, the nourishment of His strength, and the
atmosphere of His grace. To an amazing extent the facts of A.A.
life confirm this ageless truth
[again
what “facts” precisely establish this “ageless truth”? The
truth can be remarkably evasive especially in this context].
There
is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer.
Taken separately, these practices can [but
see above] bring much relief and benefit. But when they
are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable
foundation for life. Now and then we may [or
may not] be granted a glimpse of that ultimate reality which is [or is not]
God’s kingdom. And we will be comforted and assured that our own
destiny in that realm will be secure for so long as we try, however
falteringly, to find and do the will of our own Creator.
As
we have seen, self-searching is the means by which we bring new
vision, action, and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of
our natures. It is a step in the development of that kind of humility
that makes it possible for us to
receive God’s help. Yet it is only a step. We will want to go
further.
We
will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to
flower and to grow. Most certainly we shall need bracing air and an
abundance of food. But first of all we shall want sunlight; nothing
much can grow in the dark [mushrooms do - and
some are good for us, and some are not]. Meditation
is our step out into the sun. How, then, shall we meditate? [see also Links and Downloads under Meditation]
The
actual experience of meditation and prayer across the centuries is,
of course, immense. The world’s libraries and places of worship
are a treasure trove for all seekers. It
is to be hoped that every A.A. who has a religious connection which
emphasizes meditation will return to the practice of that devotion as
never before. But what about the rest of us who, less fortunate [why
“less fortunate”? An absence of prior knowledge, or indeed any
religious connection, may, in this instance, be a distinct
advantage], don’t
even know how to begin?
Well,
we might start like this. First let’s look at a really good prayer.
We won’t have far to seek; the great men and women of all religions
have left us a wonderful supply. Here let us consider one that is a
classic.
Its
author
[?] was a man who for several hundred
years now has been rated as a saint. We won’t be biased or scared
off by that fact, because although he was not an alcoholic he did,
like us, go through the emotional wringer. And as he came out the
other side of that painful experience, this prayer was his expression
of what he could then see, feel, and wish to become:
“Lord,
make me a channel of thy peace—that where there is hatred, I may
bring love—that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of
forgiveness—that where there is discord, I may bring harmony—that
where there is error, I may bring truth—that where there is doubt,
I may bring faith—that where there is despair, I may bring
hope—that where there are shadows, I may bring light—that where
there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather
to comfort than to be comforted—to understand, than to be
understood—to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting
that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by
dying that one awakens to
Eternal Life. Amen.”
As
beginners in meditation, we might now reread this prayer several
times very slowly, savouring every word and trying to take in
the deep meaning of each phrase and idea. It
will help if we can drop all resistance to what our friend says. For
in meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts
of someone who knows, so that we may experience and learn.
As
though lying upon a sunlit beach, let us relax and breathe deeply of
the spiritual atmosphere with which the grace of this prayer
surrounds us. Let us become willing to partake and be strengthened
and lifted up by the sheer spiritual
power, beauty, and love of which these magnificent words are the
carriers. Let us look now upon the sea and ponder what its mystery
is; and let us lift our eyes to the far horizon, beyond which we
shall seek all those wonders still unseen.
“Shucks!”
says somebody [that would probably be us!].
“This is nonsense. It isn’t practical.”
When
such thoughts break in, we might recall, a little ruefully, how much
store we used to set by imagination as it tried to create reality out
of bottles [otherwise known as 'delusion'. This
isn't necessarily synonymous with 'imagination']. Yes, we
revelled in that sort of thinking, didn’t we? And though sober
nowadays, don’t we often try to do much the same thing? Perhaps our
trouble was not that we used our imagination. Perhaps the real
trouble was our almost total inability to point imagination toward
the right objectives. There’s nothing the matter with constructive
imagination; all sound achievement rests upon it. After all, no man
can build a house until he first envisions a plan for it. Well,
meditation is like that, too; it helps to envision our spiritual
objective before we try to move toward it. So let’s get back to
that sunlit beach—or to the plains or to the mountains, if you
prefer.
When,
by such simple devices, we have placed ourselves in a mood in which
we can focus undisturbed on constructive imagination, we might
proceed like this:
Once
more we read our prayer, and again try to see what its inner
essence is. We’ll think now about the man who first uttered the
prayer. First of all, he wanted to become a “channel.” Then he
asked for the grace to bring love, forgiveness, harmony, truth,
faith, hope, light, and joy to every human being he could.
Next
came the expression of an aspiration and a hope for himself. He
hoped, God willing, that he might be able to find some of these
treasures, too. This he would try to do by what he called
self-forgetting. What did he mean by “self-forgetting,”
[we prefer the term 'self-transcendence']
and how did he propose to accomplish that?
He
thought it better to give comfort than to receive it; better to
understand than to be understood; better to forgive than to be
forgiven [ie. cultivation of the altruistic
faculty].
This
much could be a fragment of what is called meditation, perhaps our
very first attempt at a mood, a flier into the realm of spirit, if
you like. It ought to be followed by a good look at where we stand
now, and a further look at what might happen in our lives were we
able to move closer to the ideal we have been trying to
glimpse. Meditation is something which can always be further
developed. It has no boundaries, either of width or height. Aided by
such instruction and example as we can find, it is essentially an
individual adventure, something which each one of us works out in his
own way. But its object is always the same
[not
necessarily – see above]:
to improve our conscious contact with God, with His grace, wisdom,
and love. And let’s always remember that meditation is in reality
intensely practical. One of its first fruits is emotional balance
[actually
one of its first fruits is more likely to be emotional IMbalance.
A bit like riding a bicycle – firstly you fall over a lot before
finally you establish a new equilibrium!].
With it we can broaden and deepen the channel between ourselves and
God as we understand Him [or
it may lead to a complete rejection of the God concept].
Now,
what of prayer?
Prayer is the raising of the heart and mind to God—and in this
sense it includes meditation. How may we go about it? And how does it
fit in with meditation? Prayer, as commonly understood, is a petition
to God. Having opened our channel as best we can, we try to ask for
those right things of which we and others are in the greatest need.
And we think [but others may disagree]
that the whole range of our needs is well defined by that part of
Step Eleven which says: “...knowledge of His will for us and the
power to carry that out.” A request for this fits in any part of
our day.
In
the morning we think of the hours to come. Perhaps we think of our
day’s work and the chances it may afford us to be useful and
helpful, or of some special problem that it may bring. Possibly today
will see a continuation of a serious and as yet unresolved problem
left over from yesterday. Our immediate temptation will be to ask for
specific solutions to specific problems, and for the ability to help
other people as we have already thought they should be helped. In
that case, we are asking God to do it our
way. Therefore, we ought to consider each request
carefully to see what its real merit is. Even so, when making
specific requests, it will be well to add to each one of them this
qualification: “...if it be Thy will.” We ask simply that
throughout the day God place in us the best understanding of His will
that we can have for that day, and that we be given the grace by
which we may carry it out.
As
the day goes on, we can pause where situations must be met and
decisions made, and renew the simple request: “Thy will, not
mine, be done.” If at these points our emotional disturbance
happens to be great, we will more surely keep our balance, provided
we remember, and repeat to ourselves, a particular prayer or phrase
that has appealed to us in our reading or meditation. Just saying
it over and over [see 'mantra']
will often enable us to clear a channel choked up with anger, fear,
frustration, or misunderstanding, and permit us to return to the
surest help of all—our search for God’s will, not our own, in the
moment of stress. At these critical moments, if we remind ourselves
that “it is better to comfort than to be comforted, to understand
than to be understood, to love than to be loved,” we will be
following the intent of Step Eleven.
Of
course, it is reasonable and understandable that the question is
often asked: “Why can’t we take a specific and troubling
dilemma straight to God, and in prayer secure from Him sure and
definite answers to our requests?”
This
can be done, but it has hazards. We have seen A.A.’s ask with much
earnestness and faith for God’s explicit guidance on matters
ranging all the way from a shattering domestic or financial crisis to
correcting a minor personal fault, like tardiness. Quite often,
however, the thoughts that seem to come from God are not
answers at all. They prove to be well-intentioned unconscious rationalizations. The A.A., or indeed any man, who tries to
run his life rigidly by this kind of prayer, by this self-serving
demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting
individual. To any questioning or
criticism of his actions he instantly proffers his reliance upon
prayer for guidance in all matters great or small. He may have
forgotten the possibility that his
own wishful thinking and the human tendency to rationalize have
distorted his so-called guidance.
With the best of intentions, he
tends to force his own will into all sorts of situations and problems
[and
we're back to the cult again!]
with the comfortable assurance that he is acting under God’s
specific direction. Under
such an illusion, he can of course create great havoc
without in the least intending it.
We
also fall into another similar temptation. We form ideas as to what
we think God’s will is for other people. We say to ourselves,
“This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady,” or “That one
ought to be relieved of his emotional pain,” and we pray for these
specific things. Such prayers, of course, are fundamentally good
acts, but often they are based upon a supposition that we know
God’s will for the person for whom we pray. This means that side by
side with an earnest prayer there can be a certain amount of
presumption and conceit in us. It is A.A.’s experience that
particularly in these cases we ought to pray that God’s will,
whatever it is, be done for others as well as for ourselves.
In
A.A. we have found that the actual good results of prayer are beyond
question [but see above]. They are
matters of knowledge and experience [again see above]. All those who have persisted [again
note the qualification] have found strength not ordinarily
their own. They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability. And
they have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand firm in
the face of difficult circumstances.
We
discover that we do receive guidance for our lives to just about the
extent that we stop making demands upon God to give it to us on order
and on our terms. Almost any [but by no
means all] experienced A.A. will tell how his affairs have
taken remarkable and unexpected turns for the better as he tried to
improve his conscious contact with God. He will also report that out
of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed
heavy or even unjust [or arbitrary and
pointless], new lessons for living were learned, new resources
of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the
conviction [another word for belief –
which in itself does not constitute a 'fact'. See epistemology]
came that God does “move in a mysterious way His wonders to
perform.”
All
this should be very encouraging news for those who recoil from prayer
because they don’t believe in it [again why
would this be encouraging news for those who “don't believe in it”?
If the contrary position is based on empirical trial and/or reasoning
and the conclusion arrived at is non-belief why would the above
arguments afford anyone so disposed any 'encouragement'?], or
because they feel themselves cut off from God’s help and direction.
All of us, without exception, pass through times when we can pray
only with the greatest exertion of will. Occasionally we go even
further than this. We are seized with a rebellion so sickening that
we simply won’t pray. When these things happen we should not think
too ill of ourselves. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we
can, doing what we know [?] to be good
for us.
Perhaps
one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging
that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We
are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. The moment we
catch even
a glimpse of God’s will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice,
and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer
deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence [why
“seeming”?] to the contrary that surrounds us in purely
human affairs. We know [? see above]
that God lovingly watches over us. We know [?]
that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and
hereafter.”
(our
emphases)(our observations in red print)
Comment: Those among us
who may not be entirely convinced by the 'God concept' may find Bill
W's somewhat propagandist analysis questionable to say the least.
But setting aside the overt religiosity there is some useful
information contained herein.
Coming
next – Step Twelve
Cheers
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
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