Consent! It’s as simple as tea …..

A charming video by Thames Valley Police….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ

A brilliant aid to “Welcoming a Newcomer to the Group” and Committee 5, Q.3 “Violence and Personal Conduct Structure Handbook Final Version” don’t ya think???

Why not liven up your meeting with laptop screen?  And send it to your local predators?

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

P.S. Our usual thanks to the AA member who drew this to our attention (and to Thames Valley Police). If you couldn’t get your head round the video, make your enquiries here http://www.consentiseverything.com/

Welcoming a Newcomer to the Group (draft)

AA conference (2016)

See here

Comment: By and large the document consists of a range of pretty sensible suggestions although we would question whether in fact a “strong home group is paramount”. We would argue of far greater importance is a solid grasp of Step One, something which can only be accomplished by the individual concerned. The remainder of the programme consists largely of what might be described as 'trimmings' which are entirely optional. You don't need to believe in God (just so long as you don't think you ARE God!) to get and stay sober nor do you need to get on your knees to pray (or pray at all), and it certainly isn't a requirement to get a sponsor or assign to anyone the right to run your life. That's your responsibility.

We would strongly endorse the notion that AA members should be fully conversant with all the literature relating to newcomers specifically Chapter Seven Working WITH Others (our emphasis), a section of which cult members seem to remain totally ignorant. As for “greeters” one or two are quite sufficient rather than the customary hordes of 'happy clappers' which assail any poor unfortunates who happen to cross their path. As for the 'men for men' and 'women for women' recommendation this seems to assume a particular sexual inclination which is by no means universal. We know of plenty of gay members who find a reverse pairing more helpful. It's also worth noting that no mention is made of AA members asking people new to the fellowship for their contact details. They may offer their own but this implies no reciprocity. Your phone number, email address etc are your business and no one else's! It's called 'anonymity'. Finally as for so-called “Newcomer” meetings ALL AA meetings are newcomer meetings. Too often the former simply serve simply as 'hunting grounds' for cult predators searching out 'fresh meat'.

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Prison and Alcohol

Another offering from the AA conference (2016)

3. Pamphlet Prison and Alcohol

Some quotes from the pamphlet:

“In Alcoholics Anonymous, there is no "right" or "wrong" way to get sober.” - tell that to the Big Book nutters, sponsorship 'addicts', Step Nazis and all the other self-appointed 'experts' on recovery!

“And, as we stayed sober ourselves, we started to see how our experience could help others, passing it on freely, as it had been passed on to us.” - note the word “freely” - no contracts to sign or deals to be made, or conditions set! “Freely” means …. freely!

“many of us feel they [the Steps] are a necessary pathway to contented sobriety.” - and many of us don't!

“Acceptance of the Twelve Steps is not mandatory in any sense” ie. it's all VOLUNTARY!

“An alcoholic who has made some progress in the recovery program shares that experience with [does not dictate] another alcoholic who is trying to stay sober through AA It’s usually someone we can feel comfortable with, someone with whom we can talk freely and confidentially, and we ask [they don't offer] that person to be our sponsor, to help us learn how to live sober.” (our emphases) - This section will necessarily exclude all cult style sponsorship (ie. do what you're told blah di blah di blah)

“there are no bosses” - see above

“But, the decision was up to us” - see above

And finally:

“As you stay sober, you will find what works best for you. But one of the things we realized is that nobody could do the AA program for us. We had to do it ourselves” (our emphases) – the buck stops where? YOU.... not your sponsor, not the local 'big cheese' … YOU!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Variations on the violence theme

See here

Comment: It all sounds great doesn't it? But it doesn't really deal with the more subtle, less overt bullying that goes on in AA under the guise of 'sponsorship' ….... cult style that is..... We reckon telling newcomers that they'll drink if they don't get a sponsor (the implication being that a human power is the deciding factor as to whether you get sober or not), or slapping someone across the face for failing to complete their Step Four on time, or interfering generally in their relationships, work life, religious (or not) beliefs etc ie. generally micromanaging their lives, is all bullying as far as we're concerned. These guidelines don't deal with these issues at all. So here are a few suggestions of our own. If you meet someone who seems to think they have the right to run your life point out to them they are being offensive and would they kindly take a hike! If anyone 'suggests' to you that you're incapable of making your own decisions or exercising your own judgement politely point out to them they're being a prat and 'suggest' ….... they take a hike. If indeed you should have the misfortune to encounter any kind of recovery 'expert', Big Book aficionado or guru (you know the type – the super sobers!) run for it .... or if they persist politely 'insist'..... they take a hike. It saves a lot of trouble all round!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Dealing with Predators

See here

Source: Central Region forum, Australia, 2001

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS Our thanks to the member (US) who sent us the attachment

Violence and Personal Conduct (contd)

Committee 5 Q3 Violence and Personal Conduct Structure Handbook final version

Comment: Well here comes yet another version of the guidance on this particularly contentious subject. Who knows! Maybe if enough suggestions are proffered in the direction of sexual predators, cult thugs etc they might sit up and pay attention.... or then again maybe they won't.... they haven't so far. The problem isn't lack of guidance - it's lack of implementation. You can make up as many 'rules' as you like but if no one can be bothered to apply them then it's all so much hot air …... And in the situation where the sponsor is themselves the perpetrator, or the group (cult) has made bullying the 'norm' (eg. Plymouth Road to Recovery including Plymouth Intergroup), then you are well and truly stuffed. Until AA adopts a formal complaints procedure which applies right across the entire fellowship (and before the usual defence is raised about group autonomy take a look at what Tradition Four ACTUALLY says) then the thuggery will continue. And maybe while we're about reviewing our own conduct perhaps it's time for the yellow card to be consigned to the bin where it properly belongs. It encourages an entirely false sense of security in newcomers (who haven't yet 'wised' up to how pointless it is) and affords a perverse protection to those who seek to hide behind it ie. sexual predators, cult bullies and the like....

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

AA Conference questions 2016 (contd)

Committee 5 Q3 Violence and Personal Conduct Structure Handbook final version

Comment: Oh this is a juicy one! We'll be coming back to this. In the meantime kindly read and inwardly digest.......

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Hope for the Primary Purpose/Back to Basics Movement at Last

“TWELVE STEP RECOVERY PROCESS FOR LECTUREHOLICS”

by Emily Jensen, Associate Professor of English, Instructional Development Consultant Hartford Community College and Neil Davidson, Professor of Curriculum and Instruction University of Maryland. (College Teaching, 45(3), 102-103, Heldref Publications)

Comment: An excellent and informative article on what works and what doesn't. Our thanks to the AA member who drew this to our attention - Beware of meetings with a podium and neat rows of chairs!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS See also Primary Purpose/Back to Basics