More from Gerrards Cross

“….... attended Gerrards Cross and Beaconsfield - got involved with some of the recovered people who run Harefield meeting. They read the old style preamble from the book - we are 100 members who have recovered etc. They read suggestions from printed cards and at the end of the meeting the voluntary sponsors stand up and if you are a newcomer they allocate you a temporary sponsor who you can call or they call you. I don't know what they do. I've been twice never went back. If it was my first AA meeting I would never have gone back. There about 6 of them claim they've done the steps and recovered. They don't take any notice of people like me but I was surprised at the promotion of AA and the urgency to take newcomers through the steps. If you can get to step 9 you have recovered in 6 weeks then you can sponsor newcomers and take them through the steps. Never seen anything like it. I did the program in my own time in my own way. Took 4 years to do step 5 but I did it. …... Looks suspect to me like the Jeremy Kyle [trashy voyeuristic TV] show. Most newcomers come to have a look at AA - I did - then they come back when they're ready. Poor Andrea was being picked up by car and being taken to AA by a well meaning member trying to help. I knew her 3 years. I never got involved. Just let her sit and listen. i would never tell anyone to do anything. It's up to someone to decide if they want recovery and to get well - not to have AA pushed in their face. I've been trying to get my sister in AA for 20:years -  she won't have it. I leave her alone. She knows where the help is if she wants it …. Talking to a drinking alcoholic is a waste of time. Better in meetings talking to someone who wants help anyway. I was sat next to Andrea on the Friday - she jumped under a train on the Saturday 8 Oct 2011 nearly 2 years ago. Someone's wife, someone's mother. Tragic. Very attractive woman. That's what alkies do. Drink themselves to death or kill themselves. I've seen so many 'Andreas'. Knew a bloke in '85. Hung himself in a police cell. I had been working with him the entire week. He went to AA for 4/5years. Never could stop drinking. I've seen so many jump under trains in sobriety - no one knows why - and take overdoses. I wanted to kill myself when i was 4 years sober. I got through it. Never drank. Got well but it is a day at a time …... I believe …. that AA is full of nutters some good some bad all trying to be helpful when you stop drinking. You have to survive AA. Don't drink go to meetings. I don't buy this recovered nonsense. That's just inexperience. …. Part of the illness is thinking you are well and everyone else is sick. Used to be a book around when I came in by Hazelden called 'dry drunk syndrome'. Describes in detail sickness in recovery - grandiose behaviour - thinking you can get someone to stop drinking - get them to recover and do a recovery programme. Looks like this is what these cult meetings are all about to me. You can't promote AA. People have to decide for themselves. Step 1 - I am powerless over other people. Let them be. Leave them alone. No one in AA has ever told me to do anything - that's why I stayed. It would be nice to be able to get someone to stop drinking but I am not god. …. I stay away from these strange meetings. Just well meaning people trying to help. Won't work with alkies  thanks …...” 
 
(minor edits)
 
Comment: The road to hell is paved with good intentions!
 
Cheerio
 
The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Suicide in Gerrards Cross

A recent email: 

“Hi love your site - don’t suppose you can tell me who runs it? Does it originate in Beaconsfield? I don’t like the cult meetings. Never been to Ealing but I've experienced Harefield Friday. I've met that Richard. He scares the shit out of me. He came to Uxbridge and told everyone they were sick. Said he wanted to take me through the book and help me recover. I'm sober in AA 34 years. What does he think I did in 79! I want to go to Bayham Road Ealing but I don’t know what to expect. Never met Happy Dennis. So I got the message you do the steps in 6 weeks then you have recovered - people like me are sick. Some lady involved with the idiots at Harefield committed suicide - jumped in front of a train at Gerrards Cross. I was sat next to her on Friday. She was dead on Saturday. That was 2 years ago. They where turning up at her house taking her to AA. She didn’t want to go. Was a good friend of mine. Someone tried all that with me in 77. It didn’t work. The cult took over South Harrow. Everyone left and it closed down. They had a look at Pinner but we are too strong for them. Thanks for the site. I read it every few days. Will you e mail me back. I don’t care you can print my e mail online if you want. Too many groups using the AA programme. Too many different interpretations of it. Thanks again. Keep up the good work ….....”

Our response: 

“Hi …...,

Thanks for the mail. We're glad you find the site useful. As for us we prefer to remain anonymous – there are far too many 'personalities' floating around AA as it is! But the site was started off by a few members in …... and then expanded from there. We've even gone international with contributions coming in from the US and Australia amongst others! But we're not exclusive - as far as we're concerned anyone is a member of the aacultwatch team who understands what we're about and supports us. Obviously some people are more active than others but we depend solely on information supplied by AAs to keep us up to date with what is going on in different areas (and countries). As for Happy Dennis not all the Bayham Rd meetings apparently are run by him. There have been a number of defections and some of the meetings have reverted to standard AA ie. relatively sane. But if you really want to see a show apparently the Sunday Bayham Rd meeting is where they all “jump for joy” …. rather you than us!

We don't believe we've heard about the suicide you mentioned but that's precisely the thing we're trying to ensure doesn't happen in the future. Certainly we'd be interested in any details that you are able to supply about that.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Cheerio

The Fellas”

(our edits)