“Happy” Dennis, or Manic-Depressive Dennis? (Ealing)

(South Middlesex Intergroup)

    
It has been brought to our attention by a number of Ealing members that Dennis F (so called “Happy” Dennis) may not be as “happy” as he makes himself out to be. According to a few ex-sponsees, Dennis can sound rather depressed when speaking on the phone. “He was speaking extremely slowly, and sounded like he was in a lot of pain” said one disillusioned ex-sponsee. “It was hard to make out what he was actually saying, he sounded so miserable. I don’t trust him anymore” said another.  “Some members of his family were in the house when I visited him and they told me that he is certainly not happy all the time….”  

At his meetings Happy Dennis is the ultra-happy attention-seeking control freak. He speaks almost breathlessly fast and uses highly exaggerated language. Here are some examples of his sharing - “I’m very very very very very very happy…. and I’m even happier than that”. He displays a childish use of adjectives “I’m supercalifragilisticexpialidociously happy”  and “the very very lovely gorgeous beautiful lovely stupendous marvelous fantastic Big Book etc…” And so he goes on, exaggerating and repeating himself (he repeats himself a lot). Yet at other times, when he is not at meetings, he can hardly speak at all he is so “down”.    He also disappears out of the country quite frequently, going to Ireland, and no one is able to contact him there at all. No explanation is given as to what he is doing there or why he has to go. He just suddenly disappears off to Ireland with no explanation. His hapless sponsees are referred to a bewildered deputy, while Dennis is strictly incommunicado and absent from his home-groups sometimes for weeks at a time.  Now Ireland isn’t exactly the other side of the world, so one is left wondering what is going on.   Furthermore, this is the same man who sets up meetings, then abandons them. Then sets up more, then closes them down, without explanation. Then he sets up even more meetings, and then runs away to Ireland again when Intergroup try to hold him to account over complaints about his outlandish behaviour.  Strange indeed. However there is one mental condition that may possibly explain the actions of this bizarre and ridiculous man - manic depression, sometimes called bi-polar disorder. Let us quote from the wikipedia article on this illness.

Bipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder, historically known as manic–depressive disorder, is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and mood with or without one or more depressive episodes. The elevated moods are clinically referred to as mania or, if milder, hypomania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes, or symptoms, or a mixed state in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time. These events are usually separated by periods of "normal" mood; but, in some individuals, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, which is known as rapid cycling. Severe manic episodes can sometimes lead to such psychotic symptoms as delusions and hallucinations.

For more information see    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

So there you have it.  Clearly, by any standards “happy” Dennis is a case for the psychiatrist’s chair.  Of course we can all have empathy for someone who is suffering from a mental illness. However, when this disturbed individual is playing at God, messing around with vulnerable people’s lives - telling then what job they can or cannot do; where they can or cannot live; what they can or cannot say in meetings; who they can or cannot have as a partner; what medications they must not take etc, then this is not an acceptable state of affairs at all. It is downright dangerous, irresponsible, and indeed, outrageous.  

Finally let us remind ourselves that Dennis F takes his inspiration and direction, not from AA conference approved literature, but from a website concocted by his sponsor, David C – the infallible Icon. The infallible Icon knows nothing about psychology, and cares even less, so poor old Dennis will not be directed to seek the treatment he clearly needs, and vulnerable newcomers in the Ealing area will continue to be confused, abused and manipulated by this dangerously unhinged man.

Comment: a case of the inmates taking over the asylum perhaps?

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Happy Dennis departs reality almost completely!

Yes – this is the latest response from the Happy One to South Middlesex IG's letter (see below) – the chap seems to have been so far rocketed into another dimension that he has almost exited the galaxy completely! And so....

“Dear All, I pray that all at Intergroup and all who might read this, are happy, healthy, joyous and free, and enjoying all the beauty of this God given sober life.

I regularly attend the wonderful meetings at Bayham Road and Green Man Lane. I find them all tremendous, all carrying the beautiful Big Book message, in line with our tremendous Traditions, in fact I find all the lovely meetings in Ealing do the same thing, in fact I find all meetings I go to are aiming to carry our beautiful message of recovery, whether this be in other parts of London, other parts of the U.K., Ireland or other places in Europe.Why not come along to some of the meetings at both these lovely venues, like meetings everywhere they are fantastic. Look forward to seeing you there, or at other meetings in our lovely Intergroup or meetings elsewhere.

Anyway God bless you all, you are all always in my prayers, and may we pray that AA does happily and healthily grow and glow, God bless, Dennis.”

Comment: The medical term for his condition we believe is “barking” - or perhaps narcissist! There's a lot of them about in the cult! See following:

Hotchkiss' seven deadly sins of narcissism:

Hotchkiss identified what she called the seven deadly sins of narcissism:

1. Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.

2. Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.

3. Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.

4. Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.

5. Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favourable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.

6. Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.

7. Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.

(Hotchkiss, Sandy & Masterson, James F. Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (2003)

This all sounds very familiar!

Over to South Middlesex IG

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(our usual thanks to our reporter)

Update on Ealing: South Middlesex Intergroup's response

We quote:

 "This letter is addressed to everyone in South Middlesex Intergroup, particularly those who attend the Ealing A.A. meetings held at Bayham Road and the Green Man Lane Community Centre.

The South Middlesex Intergroup has received a letter from an adjacent Intergroup, who specifically complain about an Ealing A.A. meetings list, which promotes a non A.A. website. This website, which is available through www........ appears to give extremely dangerous advice to A.A. newcomers, suggesting that they should cease seeing psychiatrists and counsellors and stop taking prescribed medication for depression and associated illnesses, inferring that the 'Steps' will replace the drug treatment. This advice is a gross misrepresentation of A.A. practice and must cease forthwith.

Newcomers are in danger of interpreting the 'MESSAGE,' as given, to mean that they will not be able to participate in the 12 Step programme, unless they come off their medication and that as a consequence, may not be able to stay sober.

The promotion of this website breaches Guideline No.19 of the A.A. Service Handbook for Great Britain, which states: "There are no 'unofficial' A.A. Websites as such. The only websites which can truly be called A.A. websites, are those endorsed by an official A.A. body e.g. www.alcobolics-anonymous.org.uk.".

The "…......." website (as above) is not so endorsed.

Further concern has been expressed about member/s within these groups, who try to impose their personal views on a newcomer with detrimental effect.

We now ask that all individuals, particularly those involved with the Bayham Road and Green Man Lane Community Centre meetings, examine their consciences as to whether any aspect of this complaint is a reflection of their personal conduct and to ask themselves whether their actions breach any of the Traditions, set out below:

Tradition 1 talks about “our common welfare and A.A. unity."

Tradition 4 refers to the "autonomy of each group except in matters affecting other groups and [should be “or”] A.A. as a whole."

Tradition 6 suggests "An A.A. group ought never endorse an outside enterprise, lest we be diverted from our primary purpose."

Tradition 10 says "Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the A.A. name ought never to be drawn into public controversy.

It is helpful to us all to remember:

a) “as long as we recognise that religion is the province of the clergy and the practice of medicine is for doctors, we can helpfully cooperate with both."

(Bill W. Concept 12 warranty 5.)

b) "A good sponsor never tries to impose views on a newcomer, nor gives advice on medical, legal or work matter. We help the newcomer find an appropriate source of information"

(From Sponsorship: your questions answered / what will sponsors avoid doing.)

c) "A.A. does not .... Solicit members ... .... Follow up or try to control its members; make medical or psychological diagnosis or prognosis ..... provide domestic or vocational counselling .."

(From Members of the clergy asking about Alcoholics Anonymous …... What A.A. does not do.)

d) “On several occasions' I have had clients who were extremely suicidal and have sought professional help. Recently two clients threatened suicide and because A.A. members thought they knew more than the medical and psychological professions, the individuals almost died."

(Alcoholism Counsellor Printed in Grapevine May 1990.)

The content of this letter has been agreed by members of Alcoholics Anonymous who attended the South Middlesex Intergroup Meeting on Wednesday 31st August, 2011 and will be circulated. Copies will also be sent to S.S.0. Islington and G.S.O. York.”

Comment: For the background to this particular drama see website for coverage of the “Ealing Experiment”. Briefly this enterprise was born out of a desire on the part of a fellow named “Happy Dennis” (no we're not joking!) to emulate the so-called “New York” model of AA meetings (essentially this refers to a number of meetings all based at the same location but opening at different times on the same day). There is nothing particularly controversial here except for the fact that this “experiment” was also founded on another “model” ie. the “cult” version of the AA programme. The Visions cult (or Joys) was founded by David B (now deceased) in Great Britain in the late 70's/early 80's. Subsequent to David B's demise his “heir” David C took over the reins (after a bit of internal wrangling), and he has vigorously propagated the cult “message” ever since. He is a co-author of the above mentioned website and moreover (and quite coincidentally) sponsor to …. you guessed it..... Happy Dennis! David C is English by birth but currently residing in the US (although he still manages to direct operations in Ealing (and elsewhere) quite effectively even from afar!) (The WHOIS details for the site may be seen here. We will leave it to our readers to “join up the dots”). In its previous incarnation it was entitled miseryisoptional.org (a domain name now employed by quite another – and unrelated – organisation). It also links up with yet another cult website (directed specifically at newcomers) which coincidentally carries virtually identical registration details.

However - and not to forget “Happy Dennis” - ever since the “experiment” went a bit sour the “Pied Piper of Ealing” has fallen back on the “when the ordure hits the fan, do a runner and leave it to somebody else to clean up the mess” tactic...... a move which apparently is entirely in character. The rumour is that our loss is Ireland's gain! No doubt, though, and at some stage, he will return and make precisely the same mistakes again... and again.....and..... (Now remind us! What was that definition of “insanity” again?). But be in no doubt that the “brains” behind this outfit is David C and that the cult network goes way beyond Ealing (see our Cult: Where to Find). In the immediate area there are direct links between the Ealing “experiment” and the Ormond Road meeting (Tues) in Richmond, the Hampton Wick (Friday – Lower Teddington Rd) meetings, the Guildford Beginners meeting (Monday) (and where, we are reliably informed, another co-author of the website is in residence) and that members from the Bournemouth/Poole area are actively involved with the Sunday evening Bayham Road meeting. Apparently they are even more “fanatical” than Dennis!

South Middlesex IG are to be commended on the action they have taken so far. However there is one quite glaring omission to their cited list of Traditions ie. Tradition Three. We quote (long form):

3. Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

(our emphasis).

These groups have overtly affiliated themselves with an outside organisation. Therefore (and according to this criterion alone) these groups may NOT call themselves AA groups.

Moreover now that South Middlesex IG has taken the action it has (and which it will hopefully follow through on) what about the adjacent intergroups who themselves currently host cult groups in their respective areas eg. South West London? These also avail themselves of the above mentioned information provided by this “outside enterprise” (albeit covertly) employing prompt sheets (directly copied from the website) which are then presented to newcomers in their meetings as the authentic AA message. Or perhaps it will be another case of “look the other way”, or perhaps until yet another newcomer dies because they've been told to “throw away” their prescribed medication (see DRA site: Medications and Recovery)

On a lighter note the aacultwatch site has been labelled as most unsuitable reading for newcomers in the cult groups, and we are BANNED by the High Command! Moreover the whole website has been dismissed as merely 'a resentment' according to these same sources! Their hope is that we're just going to fade away........ Dream on! Just dream on!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(our thanks to our reporter for the info)

Happy Dennis (aka The Scourge of Ealing) – The Missionary!

It would seem that 'Happy Dennis' is not content with carrying the good word to the heathen of Ealing. No... He's spread his wings further afield, as far away even as deepest darkest Eastbourne. A missive was despatched by a member from that locality (to South Middlesex Intergroup) complaining about the activities of the new Messiah in their neck of the woods. Apparently the Happy One (who seems to have completely slipped his moorings with reality) was advising Eastbourne newcomers to check out a “non AA website that suggested to members not to take prescribed medication.” Moreover our correspondent indicated that: “This website address has recently appeared on the pink cards that list Ealing meetings and various SMIG members pointed out, as did the letter from Eastbourne, that such practice was not in line with AA’s Traditions. There was a general concern amongst SMIG members that some of these new meetings that are springing up will reduce numbers at other meetings and make the meeting of tradition 7 more difficult (duplicated rent costs etc) as well as contravene Tradition 4. Some members suggested that the Bayham Road and Green Man Lane meetings be deleted from the official AA meetings list if our Traditions continue to be transgressed. [name omitted] offered to write a letter to flag up these issues with the person concerned and for copies to go to London Region and York, and a number of SMIG members offered to meet at ….....'s home to help write this letter on behalf of our intergroup to express misgivings about certain developments in some Ealing meetings. A draft of this letter will be presented to SMIG at the next intergroup meeting in August for approval/amendments before it is sent off.”

So it would seem that South Middlesex Intergroup is finally lumbering into action (but only after being prodded quite a few times) to deal with the Ealing infestation. (Incidentally we have been informed that the Intergroup itself uses the Bayham Rd location (Happy Dennis' HQ) free of charge! Could there be a conflict of interest here??) The good news though is that all is not well even amongst the ranks of the “Blessed Ones”. Dissent has broken out and there are signs that the 'mission' is beginning to fray at the edges with at least one meeting already reverting to AA (to be confirmed). Moreover we are delighted to report that aacultwatch has been banned by the Ealing High Command! We are considered entirely unsuitable reading material for newcomers to the Fellowship. We wonder what they will do? You know what they say about forbidden fruit! All the more enticing! For our part we regard it as the highest compliment! So keep up the good work of publicising the site amongst cult members!

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)