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Showing posts with label anonymity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anonymity. Show all posts

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Secrets kept, secrets shared!


An AA member's murder revelation raises confidentiality question.....

We thought this article worth representing in full:


A uniformed cop trying to find somebody — apparently a suspect in a crime — marched into the middle of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He told the group who he was looking for and asked if they'd seen him.

"This is an anonymous program," the member told him. "No one's going to tell you if he's here or not." A moment later, the frustrated officer walked out, and the meeting resumed.

The suspect had been there the whole time, seated in the front row.

"It was his choice to identify himself or not," the member said. And each person attending the meeting chose silence rather than break with AA's 76-year history.

People who attend are anonymous. And what's said among its members is secret.

"It's commonly accepted that you don't go blabbing around what you've heard," said another longtime member.

Yet, some secrets are bigger than others.

On July 11, an Alcoholics Anonymous member and sponsor, Floyd Nadeau of Lewiston, met with police.

He told police that his sponsee, Bob Ryder, 20, of Lewiston, told him he had killed a woman and buried her body in the basement of his 417 Main St. home, according to a police affidavit.

Within hours of Nadeau's report, police found the body of 38-year-old Danita Brown. Ryder was later charged with murder.

Nadeau had known about the death for two weeks, according to court records. But he held onto the information, reluctant to come forward because of his belief in AA’s confidentiality. He finally went to police after talking with his own sponsor.

AA confidentiality based on tradition

Legally, secrets among Alcoholics Anonymous members aren’t that secret.

The protections that apply to conversations with certain people — lawyers, doctors and clergy — do not apply to people in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Common practice and tradition, rather than law, keep their secrets, said a member who serves as AA’s public information chairwoman for Maine and New Brunswick.

All we can do is ask,” said the woman, who did not want her name used. “Sponsors are asked ethically, by our traditions, not to divulge anything about a sponsee.”

Traditions don’t include criminal behavior, though.

We warn newcomers, ‘If you divulge a criminal act, you’re putting yourself and everyone else in the room in jeopardy,’” she said. Most sponsors would go to police.

By law, we would have to react,” she said.

A longtime member put it more bluntly.

AA has no laws,” he said. “There’s no rules. There’s no governing bodies. None of us get paid.”

People who hear something in a meeting or in a conversation with a sponsor need to decide for themselves what to do, he said. And bad stuff will come up.

This has to be looked at realistically,” he said. “This is not Utopia.”

On the other hand, most of AA’s secrets are more personal.

Part of a typical meeting includes frank personal stories, often looking at the damage done to families by alcohol-fueled neglect or affairs.

Nobody wants that shit out there,” said the long-time member.

Law: Few secrets are safe

People have tried to keep AA’s discussions a secret from police and the courts.

In 2002, New York’s 2nd Circuit Court struck down a decision that compared Alcoholics Anonymous relationships to those of a parishioner and a priest. In that case, a murder was disclosed to several AA members; the talk wasn’t spiritual, the court ruled.

In Maine, discussion among Alcoholics Anonymous members has no legal right to secrecy, said attorney Paul Chaiken, a former president of the Maine Bar Association.

However, a growing number of groups are asking for confidentiality.

It’s widening the gray area where secrets lie, he said.

You have to ask, ‘Who are you protecting? What’s the policy? What’s the rationale?” Chaiken said.

Many of the new people trying to protect secrets are counselors and therapists who may have licenses but lack some of the formal training of psychiatrists and lawyers, who have some legal standing for confidentiality, or the history of the clergy-penitent relationship, which protects conversations between a priest or minister and a parishioner in certain cases.

Adding to the gray area are differences in law — federal law is less broad in its protection — and the rules of evidence that maintain the confidentiality of some conversations may apply in the courtroom but not apply in some profession’s licensing boards, Chaiken said.

Ongoing and subtle changes in the law make confidentiality a hot topic in medical school and in ongoing training for doctors, said Dr. Michael Kelley, a psychiatrist at St. Mary’s Regional Medical Center.

It can be a chore to keep up, Kelley said.

The same goes for lawyers. The Maine Bar’s rules governing confidentiality go on for nearly 5,000 words, creating a maze of rules.

You need the (client) to be comfortable that what was said was private,” Chaiken said.

Most exclusions are aimed at preventing harm to people who might be hurt if confidentiality were maintained, balanced by the need to preserve a client’s right to speak openly with a lawyer.

Moral quandaries

When Dr. Kelley meets with a new patient to begin one-on-one counseling, he starts with a warning.

I need you to understand that everything we say is confidential with a couple of exceptions,” he says. “The main exception is if anybody is in danger or you, yourself, are in danger, then I have to break that.”

The mandate serves as a kind of escape hatch for someone who is both a dedicated professional and a decent citizen.

Secrecy is needed, Kelley said. Without it, some people will miss treatment.

I’m a substance-abuse specialist,” he said. “If I report every person that ever says they drove drunk, guess what? Nobody’s going to come in and get help for their alcohol dependence or at least they won’t be honest about it.”

During confidential sessions, he has heard people confess to embezzlement, drug-dealing and fraud.

Ethically, I’m going, ‘Oh my God. I know this person who has done this horrible thing,” he said. But unless he fears someone might come to harm, he cannot talk.

It’s a moral quandary because on the one hand, if I report everybody who tells me anything illicit they have done, I’m not going to have any patients and they’re not going to get any help.”

The worse the crime, the tougher it can be to remain silent, he said.

I don’t think there’s a doctor who would hesitate to report a murder,” Kelley said.

As secret as secret gets

If a conversation comes between a member of the clergy and a parishioner during the sacrament of confession, there are no loopholes. It’s as secret as secret gets.

It’s the highest level of confidentiality and does not admit us any exceptions,” said Monsignor Marc Caron, who leads Lewiston’s Prince of Peace Parish.

But I think it is often misunderstood,” Caron said. “It is not just any conversation. It is the conversation of a Catholic coming to the priest in order to confess their sins and receive forgiveness in the sacrament of reconciliation. That level of confidentiality we would consider as being imposed on us by divine law, not even church law.

The nature of that interaction in itself demands absolute and complete confidentiality, even after the person’s death,” Caron said. “Maine law, so far anyway, does see it as a protected form of speech. New Hampshire law, I believe, does not.”

If someone disclosed plans to hurt or even murder someone during confession, the priest would be bound by his oath to keep silent. And Maine law wouldn’t require him to speak.

But that’s not how the confessional works, Caron said.

It’s about sins committed,” he said. “It’s about the past.”

But most of his discussions with parishioners are more comparable to Kelley’s discussions, with the same mandate to report threats of physical harm.

Caron respects his legal duty, he said, but such incidents are rare, he said. Most of his talks with people are about their day-to-day lives and family issues.

They’re much more mundane and they’re much more about relationships,” he said. And if he hears that someone has committed a crime, he asks them to ’fess up.

We say, ‘Listen, you’ve got to be honest with yourself and others about what’s going on,” Caron said.

You can be free’

Moments before the start of a local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, as men made coffee and stacked literature on a table, a man raised a small poster with the words, “Think, think, think, think about it!”

For the hour that followed, guys talked about drinking and the damage that alcohol had wrought in their lives.

Though some of the men knew Ryder and Nadeau, nobody talked about the dead woman or the alleged confession. As an organization, Alcoholics Anonymous avoids controversy. It takes no outside donations and doesn’t comment on the news. Even its public information volunteers request anonymity from the news.

AA is very general,” one volunteer said. “It’s the 12 steps and the 12 principals and the 12 concepts (forming the doctrine of Alcoholics Anonymous) and that’s about it.”

What members do and say is up to them, the volunteer said.

The meeting gave answers, though. People talked about growing up and taking responsibility for their own actions.

After the meeting, a longtime member said that a member who commits a crime is encouraged to confess to the authorities. End the secrecy.

The reason is simple: An unsettled crime will make the alcoholism worse.

Face up,” he said. “Our suggestion is you go face it and do whatever punishment is due.”

Then you can be free of it,” he said."

Comment: Failure to report a crime may itself constitute a criminal act rendering one an accessory.

See: Understanding Anonymity (AA conference approved literature)

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS Our thanks to the member who drew this article to our attention

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

The Myth of the Yellow Card

Here we discuss the yellow card which is frequently on display at AA meetings (if not actually read out either at the beginning or the end of the meeting). It goes as follows:

Who you see here
What you hear here
When you leave here
LET IT STAY HERE!

In practice this injunction is demonstrably both unenforceable and ineffective. Moreover in principle it is quite contrary to the whole purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous ie. to communicate recovery. We understand fully the good intent behind this guideline but would argue that it creates more problems than it solves and that it places members at greater jeopardy than would be the case if it was not on display at all. Additionally it is frequently cited as a means of camouflaging the activities of the cult within AA (although for these same reasons this tactic has proven to be less than effective).

Firstly it is completely unenforceable. It is a guideline and not a rule and there exists no authority (nor accompanying sanction) that can ensure compliance. Its effectiveness rests entirely on the voluntary assent of every member who attends the meeting (not to mention guests if it is an open AA meeting). It takes only one breach to render it useless. Its intent is to prevent gossip (usually malicious). Those who do not indulge in this habit will abstain from it whether the card is present or not. Those who do will carry on regardless! Even those who support the principle find themselves frequently in a position where they feel constrained to breach it. If we had a penny for every time we've heard the expression: “I know it's a yellow card matter but....” we would have amassed a considerable fortune by now. One of our members recalls an occasion when they were a newcomer having a conversation with another member who was helping them out at the time. The latter quite innocently asked our friend if 'so and so' was still secretary at a certain meeting. Being a newcomer, and therefore probably more scrupulous about observing the “rules” than the 'regulars', they hesitated to reply for taken literally the yellow card would restrict even this quite innocent communication. The fact that the respective members had probably known each other for years did not mitigate this fact. Moreover Tradition Four itself implies that there has to be some communication between groups (and the conduct of their meetings) which will of necessity require from time to time a “breach” of this confidentiality. In this connection it is worth pointing out here that there exists no circumstance of “privileged communication” in (or out of) meetings between members. To cite another example an interesting exchange took place between two attendees at another meeting. One was ex-CID and the other had - shall we say - a colourful past which included the occasional misconstruction on his part as to what constituted his property and what did not. The latter put the hypothetical situation to the former that if he were, for example, to share in a meeting that he had carried out a burglary how would the former (in his capacity as Old Bill) feel obliged to respond? The ex-officer replied that he would listen respectfully to the admission and then “nick” the guy at the end of the meeting! From this it can be seen that practically (as well as legally) the application of the yellow card principle is mostly a non-starter. We would argue that it would be better for the card to be abandoned (although this is not to say that gossip should be encouraged) but it is better to recognise the realities of life in the fellowship rather than promote an ideal which is rarely adhered to. The presence of the card gives an entirely false impression and leads people to discuss things in a public forum which would be better reviewed in more secure surroundings. Indeed it might be rather more useful to follow the guidelines indicated in the Big Book – to share only in “a general way”, and reserve any more sensitive material for the ears of a “close mouthed acquaintance” (but bearing in mind the legal position). Most members learn this lesson anyway - but usually the hard way! Finally it ensures also that some of the abuses that go on (most notably in cult meetings and groups) cannot be defended or concealed by resorting to the “yellow card defence”. (We shall be reviewing in some detail some extreme instances of these in a forthcoming article)

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Friday, 4 February 2011

Tradition Eleven

Short form:

"Eleven—Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films."

Long form:

"11.—Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us."

Another cracking good idea! (which is probably why it became an AA tradition). Moreover this guideline is closely connected with the last tradition (where the principle is well and truly hammered home). In this instance the key words to reflect on are “anonymity” and “attraction” (versus “promotion”).

Firstly - “anonymity” which may be defined as: the quality or state of being unknown or unacknowledged; namelessness. So for the purposes of our “public relations” (and in the context of AA) we are men and women “WITH NO NAME”. (We should point out here that this does not mean we all have to call ourselves “Clint” (as in Eastwood) from now on, or wear ponchos and ride donkeys, and it most definitely does not imply a licence to decimate the populations of local hamlets simply because their inhabitants have been rude to our “transport of choice”! These are not mandatory!) We would suggest that this definitely includes surnames and even forenames. In the case of “celebrities” of course this is quite impossible (and another good reason why they should not break their anonymity) but for the rest of us this is an easy suggestion to follow. Even if a forename has to be used (for the purposes of polite interaction) it can be assumed. So if you've ever fancied being called Hieronymus now's your chance - or even Bruce, or Sheila. Or maybe just plain John - as in John Doe (our personal favourite).

Secondly - “attract” means: to arouse or compel the interest, admiration, or attention of. “Promote” means: to attempt to sell or popularize by advertising or publicity.

The distinction between these two approaches seems to be based on “intrinsic value” as opposed to “extrinsic display”. ie. a service or product which is inherently valuable, and which fulfils the real needs of the consumer requires little or no “marketing” and can rely simply on “word of mouth” recommendations; it has "intrinsic value". On the other hand those products (and services) which have little or no “intrinsic value” will require correspondingly larger expenditures of time and energy (and money) to shift their inherently “worthless” output ie. “extrinsic display” (this latter category would probably include almost everything advertised by the mass media, ie. TV, newspapers, magazines, internet etc). Therefore, as a quick rule of thumb, the more a product or service is plugged by these media the greater the likelihood that it is of little or no real use. AA while it adheres to the former approach demonstrates it is in fact meeting the needs of its “consumers”. If there is any shift towards the latter tendency this would suggest that it is failing in this objective and is becoming more reliant on “display” than actual substance. Needless to say the cult groups put a lot of effort into the former, never stinting on new “marketing” techniques (including that good old standby – lying), promoting themselves at every opportunity via websites, local poster campaigns (with little or no liaison with other groups), producing their own Where to Finds (whilst 'forgetting' to mention the AA groups in the area), fabricating their own literature (some of which bears only the slightest resemblance to the genuine AA article), organising so-called “conventions” or “workshops” which usually feature some much lauded “guest speaker” (ie. cult celebrity) together with the time-honoured cult techniques of manipulation/coercion in order to retain their “target market” and so on and so forth … as we have said before this list goes on “ad infinitum”.

[In this connection we're rather puzzled that the pointed headed ones haven't got round to running an X Factor style talent contest. The budding “personalities” could do their “turns” and votes would be awarded accordingly eg. tastelessness, self-promotion, lack of ability etc. The contestant scoring highest in these “qualities” would go on to win (1st prize to include a fully promoted circuit tour, CDs, book signings (“How I got Sober with Six Easy Suggestions”) and a weekend in Dallas, Texas). For the judges we'd definitely include David “The Icon” C, a fellow who is never short of a few opinions (these largely being a substitute for any genuine personality). Then there's Wayne P (Road to Recovery Plymouth cult group)– currently on sabbatical but who we're quite sure will make a miraculous come back ie. after having seen the “light” etc. Of course no line up could possibly exclude the West Kent intergroup secretary Barbara (“Cults are a Good Thing”) K, already famous for her contribution to the growing market of “personality” CDs. Lastly there's the up-and-coming charismatic “leader”, The Pied Piper of Happy Clappy Land (otherwise known as Ealing), “Happy Dennis”, whose irrepressible good humour - and capacity to launch himself skywards at the least provocation - must surely lend to such an occasion the gravity it deserves. Anyway we digress....].

There is occasionally a fine line between the two approaches and we would suggest that if in doubt ... don't! Alcoholics Anonymous has managed perfectly well without the need for publicity campaigns and works best according to traditional methods. The fellowship has no need to “market” itself and indeed undermines it's own credibility and integrity by doing so. So let our friends “recommend us” and our detractors may say what they will!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)