We recently received a most disturbing communication from a member concerning Alcoholics Anonymous in the Los Angeles area (US). A whole catalogue of incidents were detailed (in some cases including dates and locations) which in some way related to the conduct of AA members, and most of which would fall into the category of serious criminal acts (including murder and rape). Evidently such cases should always be reported to the appropriate authorities in the first instance so that an investigation might ensue, arrests be made, and, where the evidence allows, prosecutions follow. From our point of view, and where this conduct is proven, such behaviour is utterly repugnant in any context, but when it is associated with AA it has the further impact of bringing us into disrepute thereby undermining our reputation as being a place of security for those who come to us for assistance. Our reporter identified the measures they and others had taken to tackle these serious issues which included notifying the General Service Office in New York as well as the local service structures. It would seem that the responses they received were less than satisfactory. To their credit they have themselves been active in seeking to raise the profile of this situation as well as taking practical steps to ensure that newcomers to our fellowship are protected. Clearly this chimes with aacultwatch's own efforts in this area (although to date we have no evidence that this degree of criminality is associated with any particular cult group in Great Britain). However we would take this opportunity to remind you of the Midtown groups (again the US – and which present an unmistakeable cult profile) where the local service structure failed largely to deal with the problem (and as far as we are aware continue to remain inactive when dealing with these rogue elements). Our reporter identifies a number of factors contributing to this state of affairs which we paraphrase below:
1) A poorly co-ordinated local service structure with insufficient GSR representation to ensure that such anti-social conduct is reported, exposed and then dealt with ie. a lack of transparency and accountability.
2) The court referral system where – and especially in the US – individuals are required to attend AA meetings as part of their sentencing. This results, in some instances, in completely inappropriate referrals being made (ie. individuals who are not alcoholics at all (using any generally accepted definition of the condition)) and/or are unwilling participants and therefore entirely hostile towards AA and engage thereafter in anti-social behaviour causing disruption to AA meetings ie. AA is being used as an inexpensive “dumping ground” by the court system. We have argued elsewhere that the “chit” system leaves itself wide open to abuse and moreover our participation in this form of sentencing is a breach of our own traditions.
3) The failure of the AA collectively - nationally and internationally – and through its respective conferences – to address these issues. The GB conference has issued a set of guidelines in relation to “bullying” within meetings but these are only effective insofar as members and groups are willing to enforce them.
4) Sexual predation specifically is widely reported in the above communication (or 13 stepping as it is referred to within the fellowship). We are not talking here about “boy meets girl and falls in love” (and other variations on this) or even – more commonly - “boy meets girl and falls in lust” but rather a deliberate and serial targetting of vulnerable AA members by “predators” (of both sexes). Even the term “13 Stepping” has in our view the effect of trivialising what in some instances might otherwise be termed “constructive rape”.
We would argue that with reference to the above the single common factor which determines whether this conduct continues or is eliminated (or at least minimised) is whether AA members, acting singly or in groups, are willing to take responsibility for ensuring that every new person coming to our fellowship is not subjected to any form of abuse whatsoever. Too frequently we hear people complaining “Why doesn't York do something?” (in the case of Great Britain), or “Why doesn't intergroup do something?” The fact is that these elements of the service structure can do no more than offer guidance; they have absolutely no powers of enforcement. We would emphasise here that the AA pledge should not be taken as a mere form of words; it means what it says: “I am responsible” - it does NOT say: “Someone else is responsible”. We would urge members to act where any such abuse is going on. In the case of criminal activity this should ALWAYS be reported to the police and as soon as possible (incidentally there exists a legal obligation to do so). In other situations of a non-criminal nature sexual predators, bullies (cult or otherwise) etc may simply be outed. Expose them for what they are. Do NOT collude with them or give them space to continue with their abuse both of members and of the fellowship. Their actions are depriving newcomers of the right to recover and to live free of this deadly disease. Finally: there is NO 7th Cavalry to come to the rescue at the last minute – only you!
Cheerio
The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
Showing posts with label AA pledge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AA pledge. Show all posts
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Friday, 19 February 2010
Honest (and dishonest) sharing
"The pledge : 'When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA to be there, and for that I am responsible'
Tradition 5: 'Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the alcoholic that still suffers'
Something I have found key recently is the need for honesty. Honesty for me is one of the main components within recovery. To admit what we were, and are, is a huge step forward - only when we do this can we truly start to recover.
Honesty must also be carried forth when sharing at meetings. I have attended certain groups where the sharing is uniform and all too squeaky clean. It is important to be aware of what you are sharing and how this will affect the newcomer. I have experienced meetings where the sharing from the core of the group is all the same. Everyone has been rocketed into the 4th dimension. How everything is just perfect. How they have a life beyond their wildest dreams. Quite often there is a heavy emphasis on the book, sponsorship, with an undertone that if these avenues are not explored something unpleasant will happen to the poor newcomer. Though I am an advocate of the big book, the steps and a sponsor, ramming it down some poor newcomer's throat, in my honest opinion, serves as nothing more than repelling them away and damaging the reputation of the majority of AA people who genuinely care.
I have experienced people sharing about how the groups they were in were all sharing about how great things were - the person concerned was puzzled as they did not feel that way. In my view I don't feel that it is possible to have sunshine beaming from every pore all day every day. No one can never have a bad day. Sometimes when I hear this uniform drivel it smacks of religious frenzy. Whether the individuals are aware of the detrimental effect this manufactured, repetitive spiel has on newcomers is another debate entirely. I know it's not good though.
The obstacles and sometimes painful experiences that sobriety throws at us do not disappear simply because we have taken the steps and worked the programme. It is important to recognise that as we live life on life's terms we find that yes, real life can be bloody hard at times. It is important that we stay positive, but also reflect that this recovery business can be bloody hard work at times. What I have seen as a result of the uniform 'happy, joyous and free' gang is that newcomers come in, can't relate to feeling great all day every day and assume one of two things - 1) That whatever is going on they can't get it because they don't relate to the drones sharing and 2) That because they don't feel that way all day every day - AA must be a load of cobblers and they go on their merry way confused and back out of the door. In my experience, meetings where people are brutally honest are shunned and deemed 'sick' - their crime, telling it how it really is. Why is this?
There is no doubt in my mind that AA works, and life does get better, but a reality check is also needed.
On the level of personal responsibility, I feel that it is also our duty to be very cautious about becoming part of a group within a group. I feel it can be damaging on 2 fronts. It can alienate the newcomer entirely and lead to them leaving the group and possibly AA. I have also seen instances where the individual goes down the dishonesty route. They want to become part of the inner circle and therefore share dishonestly just to fit in. After all - the big book says ' no man wants to admit that he is bodily or mentally different from his fellows'. Being caught in this rut also discourages regular members from attending other meetings - thus denying them a mix and range of different views and sharing, denying them the experience or a bigger range of human experience in AA. In cases like this, the path really does become narrower, and eventually so do people's viewpoints.
Don't get me wrong, a good dose of common sense and balance is always a great remedy for the above, but we are talking about people who are new to the fellowship and may well be desperate.
I hope the above points are valid for anyone reading.“
(our thanks to the AA member who sent in this contribution)
Cheers
The Fellas
Tradition 5: 'Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the alcoholic that still suffers'
Something I have found key recently is the need for honesty. Honesty for me is one of the main components within recovery. To admit what we were, and are, is a huge step forward - only when we do this can we truly start to recover.
Honesty must also be carried forth when sharing at meetings. I have attended certain groups where the sharing is uniform and all too squeaky clean. It is important to be aware of what you are sharing and how this will affect the newcomer. I have experienced meetings where the sharing from the core of the group is all the same. Everyone has been rocketed into the 4th dimension. How everything is just perfect. How they have a life beyond their wildest dreams. Quite often there is a heavy emphasis on the book, sponsorship, with an undertone that if these avenues are not explored something unpleasant will happen to the poor newcomer. Though I am an advocate of the big book, the steps and a sponsor, ramming it down some poor newcomer's throat, in my honest opinion, serves as nothing more than repelling them away and damaging the reputation of the majority of AA people who genuinely care.
I have experienced people sharing about how the groups they were in were all sharing about how great things were - the person concerned was puzzled as they did not feel that way. In my view I don't feel that it is possible to have sunshine beaming from every pore all day every day. No one can never have a bad day. Sometimes when I hear this uniform drivel it smacks of religious frenzy. Whether the individuals are aware of the detrimental effect this manufactured, repetitive spiel has on newcomers is another debate entirely. I know it's not good though.
The obstacles and sometimes painful experiences that sobriety throws at us do not disappear simply because we have taken the steps and worked the programme. It is important to recognise that as we live life on life's terms we find that yes, real life can be bloody hard at times. It is important that we stay positive, but also reflect that this recovery business can be bloody hard work at times. What I have seen as a result of the uniform 'happy, joyous and free' gang is that newcomers come in, can't relate to feeling great all day every day and assume one of two things - 1) That whatever is going on they can't get it because they don't relate to the drones sharing and 2) That because they don't feel that way all day every day - AA must be a load of cobblers and they go on their merry way confused and back out of the door. In my experience, meetings where people are brutally honest are shunned and deemed 'sick' - their crime, telling it how it really is. Why is this?
There is no doubt in my mind that AA works, and life does get better, but a reality check is also needed.
On the level of personal responsibility, I feel that it is also our duty to be very cautious about becoming part of a group within a group. I feel it can be damaging on 2 fronts. It can alienate the newcomer entirely and lead to them leaving the group and possibly AA. I have also seen instances where the individual goes down the dishonesty route. They want to become part of the inner circle and therefore share dishonestly just to fit in. After all - the big book says ' no man wants to admit that he is bodily or mentally different from his fellows'. Being caught in this rut also discourages regular members from attending other meetings - thus denying them a mix and range of different views and sharing, denying them the experience or a bigger range of human experience in AA. In cases like this, the path really does become narrower, and eventually so do people's viewpoints.
Don't get me wrong, a good dose of common sense and balance is always a great remedy for the above, but we are talking about people who are new to the fellowship and may well be desperate.
I hope the above points are valid for anyone reading.“
(our thanks to the AA member who sent in this contribution)
Cheers
The Fellas
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
Latest from Eastbourne
Re: Eastbourne: There is a Solution
Friday 19.30 Elim Church, Hartfield Rd
“The "new" Thursday and Friday meetings in Eastbourne failed to get the required 2/3 majority to be voted out. The Hastings one was voted out. I have a feeling that this is not the end of the story - members of the Friday group in particular were not seen in "mainstream" meetings for a while, but have started popping up here and there, always in pairs.....”
This, by the way, is not an unusual tactic for the cult - when the going gets tough this lot go underground thinking that if they hide and keep very, very, very still we won't notice them any more. Then when the heat's off they get up to their little tricks again. Well - we've got news for you – that isn't going to work any more – the going's going to get tougher and tougher and ….
Finally it would seem that the aacultwatch Cult 'Where to Find' is not being greeted with universal approbation – hardly a surprise – but even so you'd think that the cult would be grateful to us for giving them all that free publicity – but it seems not – rather the reverse. So (and as usual in the spirit of seeking to be helpful) we can save all those outraged cult members the time and trouble of sending us emails containing those apparently standardised (and transparently emotionally manipulative) comments and questions flying our way.
Q: How can we sleep at night?
A: Like babies. We'd find it a lot harder to do so if we did just stand by and do nothing while newcomers suffer (and in some cases die)
Q: Shouldn't we hang our heads in shame?
A: No. Rather the reverse in fact (see above answer)
Q: It's all just speculation and hearsay. You don't know what you're talking about?
A: Yes we do. It's all based on evidence supplied directly by aacultwatch members
Q: You're damaging AA unity and breaking the Traditions aren't you?
A: This is always an entertaining line of attack especially coming from the cult who are, after all, expert practitioners in both areas. AA unity is not going to be served by pretending that nothing is wrong with the Fellowship. The whole purpose of AA is to help the still suffering alcoholic. If we act in such a fashion that we not only fail to carry out this objective but indeed heap yet more suffering upon the new man or woman then what real function does AA have? Is there any point to its continued existence? Nor do we support the view that AA unity must be preserved at “any cost” - a ludicrous concept in itself and dangerous in its implications – we, as citizens, and as moral human beings, have a duty of care to our fellows which supersedes any adherence to a set of rules or guidelines. We operate within a wider community and are bound by its laws and by its socially and culturally defined principles. Any organisation that chooses to ignore the context within which it exists and fails to govern itself responsibly will finally come into conflict with those principles, and this to the detriment of all. Consequently the organisation degenerates to such a point that it exists only to perpetuate its own existence without regard to the welfare of its members, or those it is supposedly serving, and is thus rendered both irreversibly corrupt and essentially redundant.
To conclude we would remind you of the AA pledge:
I am Responsible.
When Anyone, Anywhere
Reaches Out For Help,
I Want The Hand Of A.A.
To Always Be There.
And For That,
I Am Responsible !
The final question is: Do you want the hand of AA to be extended, or that of the cult? We've made our choice – it's up to you to make yours!
(As usual our thanks to the AA member for the info)
Cheers
The Fellas
Friday 19.30 Elim Church, Hartfield Rd
“The "new" Thursday and Friday meetings in Eastbourne failed to get the required 2/3 majority to be voted out. The Hastings one was voted out. I have a feeling that this is not the end of the story - members of the Friday group in particular were not seen in "mainstream" meetings for a while, but have started popping up here and there, always in pairs.....”
This, by the way, is not an unusual tactic for the cult - when the going gets tough this lot go underground thinking that if they hide and keep very, very, very still we won't notice them any more. Then when the heat's off they get up to their little tricks again. Well - we've got news for you – that isn't going to work any more – the going's going to get tougher and tougher and ….
Finally it would seem that the aacultwatch Cult 'Where to Find' is not being greeted with universal approbation – hardly a surprise – but even so you'd think that the cult would be grateful to us for giving them all that free publicity – but it seems not – rather the reverse. So (and as usual in the spirit of seeking to be helpful) we can save all those outraged cult members the time and trouble of sending us emails containing those apparently standardised (and transparently emotionally manipulative) comments and questions flying our way.
Q: How can we sleep at night?
A: Like babies. We'd find it a lot harder to do so if we did just stand by and do nothing while newcomers suffer (and in some cases die)
Q: Shouldn't we hang our heads in shame?
A: No. Rather the reverse in fact (see above answer)
Q: It's all just speculation and hearsay. You don't know what you're talking about?
A: Yes we do. It's all based on evidence supplied directly by aacultwatch members
Q: You're damaging AA unity and breaking the Traditions aren't you?
A: This is always an entertaining line of attack especially coming from the cult who are, after all, expert practitioners in both areas. AA unity is not going to be served by pretending that nothing is wrong with the Fellowship. The whole purpose of AA is to help the still suffering alcoholic. If we act in such a fashion that we not only fail to carry out this objective but indeed heap yet more suffering upon the new man or woman then what real function does AA have? Is there any point to its continued existence? Nor do we support the view that AA unity must be preserved at “any cost” - a ludicrous concept in itself and dangerous in its implications – we, as citizens, and as moral human beings, have a duty of care to our fellows which supersedes any adherence to a set of rules or guidelines. We operate within a wider community and are bound by its laws and by its socially and culturally defined principles. Any organisation that chooses to ignore the context within which it exists and fails to govern itself responsibly will finally come into conflict with those principles, and this to the detriment of all. Consequently the organisation degenerates to such a point that it exists only to perpetuate its own existence without regard to the welfare of its members, or those it is supposedly serving, and is thus rendered both irreversibly corrupt and essentially redundant.
To conclude we would remind you of the AA pledge:
I am Responsible.
When Anyone, Anywhere
Reaches Out For Help,
I Want The Hand Of A.A.
To Always Be There.
And For That,
I Am Responsible !
The final question is: Do you want the hand of AA to be extended, or that of the cult? We've made our choice – it's up to you to make yours!
(As usual our thanks to the AA member for the info)
Cheers
The Fellas
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