Pathways House Rehab, Canterbury (Kent)

A member has contacted us to express his concerns about the above treatment centre and the questionable conduct of both its owner(?)/manager and another member of staff: 

Care Quality Commission report (30^th August 2014) on their services. They fail in two categories:

• Caring for people safely and protecting them from harm
• Staffing

Pathways House Limited is managed by Kenneth Milne. 

This is the same Kenneth Milne who appears in the following Kent Online article (June 2014):

Canterbury neighbours endure lewd insults from rehab boss Kenny Milne in row over Pathways House in Rochester Avenue

Not a particularly auspicious recommendation!

Apparently Kenneth (or Kenny to his friends – he must be running short on those by now) is adopting a lower profile these days (presumably no longer displaying his nether regions to the neighbours, which is probably something of a relief for all concerned). Moreover we've been told he has connections with both AA and CA (funny how CA keeps on cropping up isn't it! See Harry K, Richard E).

But he isn't the only 'loose cannon' on the premises. Another of Kenny's colleagues (who shall remain anonymous ...for the time being at least) is well known as an active cult member in both the West and East Kent areas. Employed by Pathways as a general 'gofer' this individual somehow acquired the view that his position qualified him to be a counsellor (presumably through some mysterious form of 'osmosis'!). Unclear about the distinction between counselling professionally (albeit unqualified and with absolutely no experience) and 'sponsorship' he set himself up in some kind of hybrid role and was charging a former client of Pathways House £10 per hour to take him through the steps - something of a bargain we have to say when compared with professional fees. But then you get what you pay for don't you!

In between fleecing other members he also does a bit of conveyancing (no not that kind of conveyancing!) on the side taking punters to the local hard core cult meetings – Friday Canterbury (Quaker) and Dover Monday (not sure if we've come across that one before??). Apparently the former was set up by some geezer called Bill (from Strood – all part of the cult 'franchise') attracting such notables as Laughing Chris (oh dear not another one - we've already got a Happy Dennis on the books) and Arthur. Clearly giggling is permitted in cult circles - but no speaking at meetings until you've got a sponsor. And even then only to chant “happy, joyous and free” and “my sponsor says this, and my sponsor says that” … right up to the point where they finally crack!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS Thanks to our correspondent 

PPS For AA Minority Report 2013 click here  

PPPS Plymouth Intergroup corruption

'Thug of the month' - Sean (or Shaun), East Kent

“Hi Fellas,

Some guy called Sean (a traveller or so he said) came to our meeting recently. Apparently he was up to the 'smoke' from East Kent. Turned up late (after the chair had finished speaking). When the sharing started he came in at the end and we were treated to what felt like an endless rant. He claimed he was an AA archivist and then went on to talk about Wally P etc and how they used to do it in the 'old days'. Obviously he idolised the bloke. Banged on about how so-and-so was sponsored by Dr Bob like anybody cared. Then he started slagging off other AA meetings etc. He had a peculiar habit of laughing at his own witticisms - nobody else did! Finally he ended up by saying he was 'happy, joyous and free” almost defiantly Seemed very defensive despite all the bravado. I just thought what a prat! I spoke to a newcomer at the end of the meeting. He thought the guy was barking mad as well!”

Keep up the good work!

…...”

(edited to preserve anonymity)

Comment: Sean is a well-known 'schmuck' from East Kent. He did serve as archivist at one stage fully 'padding his expenses' to York at every opportunity. He's also a bully and a thug. We've heard recently that he attended a meeting in Canterbury where he told members that meetings were not “group therapy” (if they're not then what the hell are they?). So vicious was his attack that he reduced one woman member to tears. Another recovery 'expert'! And a thoroughly nasty piece of work.

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS For AA Minority Report 2013 click here

PPS Plymouth Intergroup corruption

Mars landing! One small step for Wayne!

Well we don't propose to discuss further Wayne P's current circumnavigation of the solar system. However In his latest offering (via the unendorsed Road to Recovery (Plymouth) cult group website) an act of contrition is almost presented, but then undermined by some rather bizarre posturing! Something along the lines of: “Well I shot myself in the foot but then hobbled on regardless (sounds like a good title for a Carry On film!) undeterred by my act of extreme stupidity(?), and moreover rendered (apparently) all the more heroic for it!” More interestingly though this rather rambling piece is illustrative of the controlling (and spiritually debilitating) sponsorship system which underscores the cult's philosophy(?). We discover that Wayne “took the steps (?) 24 years ago” so on that basis we'd have to assume somebody in their fifties or sixties. During this time he has been accompanied by a sponsor “With an arm around my shoulder or a boot up my ass”, this poor unfortunate apparently doomed to a lifetime of keeping (rather unsuccessfully - and whilst hopping on one foot presumably!)) Wayne on the straight and narrow (ie. the Road of Happy Destiny). Now this does rather beg the question: Why would any adult require such supervision? It might be understandable if one were dealing with a juvenile delinquent or a more than slightly truculent teenager. But someone in their fifties? Surely not! The law, certainly, regards someone of this age to be capable of making sound decisions, and of possessing a capacity to distinguish between right and wrong; in other words of acting both judiciously and ethically. However the main impact of the cult sponsorship system (some of whose unhealthy tendencies are seeping into AA) is to render impotent the sponsee, curtail their faculty of judgement, absolve them from the exercise of responsibility, and moreover separate them from the full consequences of their actions (as in “My sponsor said...”, “My sponsor told me....”, “I always do what my sponsor....” and so on). Thus they are trapped in a cycle of futile dependency, and are quite unable to function apparently without reference to this font of all wisdom, their All-Powerful, All-Seeing and All-Knowing sponsor. As for the deleterious impact on the latter this is patently obvious. The relationship simply serves to pander to their craving for power and turns a budding control freak into an egocentric monster (see narcissism)... eg. David B, David C, Clancy I, Mike Q …..and sundry other 'big fish' swimming around (in circles) in little ponds! Both Bill W and Dr Bob warned of the dangers of “sponsor worship” and “unhealthy dependency”, an admonition which the cult have clearly elected to ignore in pursuit of their own twisted agenda. Their notions of sponsorship err at best towards sentimentalism as they adopt a patronising even proprietorial attitude to their 'charges' (e.g. my sponsee, or even worse my “pigeon” (the latter widely regarded in Britain as a type of 'flying rat')), and at worst towards the sinister as in Joe McQ's comment about 'sponsorees' [sic]: 
 

“But an alcoholic can do just about anything you make her do. If you insist that she do certain things, she’ll get them done” and so on in a similar vein.

Far from encouraging the individual to develop a relationship with a Greater Power of “their understanding” he or she is offered instead an all-too-frail and transient human version, and this despite the clear warning to the contrary:

“Probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism” (BB. Chapter 5)

The second rate here is offered as if there were no choice when in fact in real life (or for adults at least!) there are ALWAYS choices, some of which though we'd rather not make!  And they are OUR choices - not someone else's!

Facts: There is NO mention of either sponsorship, sponsees or sponsors in the Big Book, in the preamble, in the steps or in the traditions (and as far as we know in the Concepts either). The word “sponsee” (or indeed “sponsoree”) will not be found in any dictionary.

But if you're absolutely determined to get a sponsor at least have the good sense to do a bit of research. Firstly see here: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship.

Next - there's no rush! Sponsorship is NOT one of the essentials of recovery! But honesty is!

Finally - don't be too easily impressed. The following can easily be dispensed with: circuit speakers, Big Book 'experts', the local guru (no matter how prettily they speak!), anyone who's been immortalised on audio media (CDs and the rest), members who are apparently almost orgasmic with gratitude ALL of the time, the "misery is optional" brigade, service bores, religious nutters, sponsor obsessives, and all other sundry emotional manipulators. On the other hand maybe the following might be worth a second look: boring people who are just getting on with it, raising kids, going to work and all that routine kind of stuff, who don't make speeches, and just tell their story without any big fanfare or fuss!

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS We've recently heard (via our reporter from the Canterbury (Kent) cult convention) that sponsors should now be regarded as “Godfathers”! Can we take it from this that we are all shortly to be made “an offer we can't refuse” by someone who bears a marked resemblance to an overweight hamster with a serious speech impediment? And by the way …. look out for the horse's head!

A newcomer's tale (Richmond Tuesday: Ormond Road)

“Hi fellas,

My name is S. and I am an alcoholic. A month ago I went to my first AA meeting in 18 months. I didn't touch a drop of alcohol in that time. The reason I hadn't been to a meeting for 18 months? Because of the cult - but in that 18 months I was struggling daily and eventually I felt the need to give AA another go. My friend R says he wrote to you recently and he told me all about your website and having looked at some of the accounts I thought I’d share mine.

I first came to AA in September 2009 and I was wrecked. I live in Twickenham and went to my first ever meeting at Richmond Bridge friendship club on a Monday evening. After the meeting I swapped numbers with a very young man (who at the time I felt was too young to be an alky but that's not for me to judge) and he insisted I went to the Tuesday night meeting at Ormond Road in Richmond the following evening. I was still very new to AA and was keen to try more meetings. I think he was just trying to be friendly and get me involved but he insisted I went to THIS meeting on a Tuesday. I went along anyway and got a cup of tea and many people asked me for my number. One of them was called B and he said 'can I take your number? My sponsor tells me to take newcomers numbers and call them'. He seemed to be the ringleader even though he had a sponsor at the meeting. Everyone at that meeting shared about how they had a sponsor and I didn't have one but I wasn't ready. I told them I wasn't ready and I was asked if I wanted to stay sick. It wasn't B who asked me that but it was a guy called R who was a sponsee of his. I've seen R at meetings recently and he seems to think nobody else in AA has ever heard of the steps, the Big Book or a higher power concept. Apparently their sponsor/sponsee relationship ended in a near punch up a while back. B gave me the "six suggestions" and told me I should also go to meetings on Kingston hill and Tolworth and what seemed like a hundred different meetings in Ealing (and guess what he said? 'Look out for happy Dennis because he's good) and he said they carry a stronger message there. I was taking anti depressants at the time (and still am) and B told me I should go to my doctor and ask him to 'unprescribe' me my medication. After the meeting we all went to Pizza express across the road from the meeting, and one evening as I was leaving the café B told me I'd been elected to do the washing up after the meeting and that it was now my home group. I wasn't comfortable about it because I wasn't sure if AA was right for me and I couldn't even go next week anyway, so I missed the next meeting and was phoned by B and he told me I needed to put my "home group" first. I continued to go to the meeting for the next three weeks and it all went okay until I was quizzed in pizza express afterwards as to whether or not I was doing the six suggestions and I said I wasn't as the idea didn't appeal to me and B and his mate who everyone seemed to refer to as S were telling me I was half measures and I was not well by AA's standards and B was even shouting across the table at me: 'IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS YOU ARE GOING TO DRINK AND STAY F-ING SICK', which is odd as he always shared about being spiritual. He later 'apologised' but then continued to shout at me as if I were a schoolboy and he were a demon headmaster. This all upset me very much but I felt insulted when S told me that I didn't have to do any of those things, even though he'd gone to town on me over how 'lazy' and selfish I was...all just to say that I didn't have to do any of that stuff...some 'suggestions' those are. Afterwards I decided I was through with AA and didn't go back to ANY meetings for 18 months. I was so upset that I wanted to go back to the church and tell the vicar what was going on in his church hall. I also had to change my number as I was getting many phone calls every day from the same few people asking me where I was and they often said my life depended on that particular meeting.

After I came back to AA I was still broken even though I was dry and physically better, but simply not drinking was a struggle and I decided to try again and hope I didn't see B or R or S. I turned up at another meeting and I met someone who I met at my first meeting, he was my friend who wrote to you before, and he told me all about a Vision for You and the big meeting in Eton Square and aacultwatch and I thought I'd write. I remember B talking a lot about what he referred to as 'the vision meeting'.

Before I was so angry and hurt that I wouldn't have given two hoots if it destroyed AA but I found there was more to AA than this cult...a lot more. I'm still very angry now which is why I remember it like it was yesterday but I think your cause is worthy. Also, they know about aacultwatch at the Ormond Rd meeting and they look at it with a great deal of contempt and speak derisively of its 'unspiritual ways' - because they know what spiritual is!!!! I think they feel that way because deep down they know the score. I'm no Big Book buff but they remind me of the boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. I do hope you publish this on your website as people need to know what goes on at that meeting. I've been to a lot of meetings around Richmond and Twickenham since I've been back and I have not seen B or S at any of them because they don't go to any other meetings round here. In fact there were loads of people who only turn up at that meeting even though there's a meeting every day in Richmond and some of them don't live in Richmond and if I remember correctly B lived miles away from the meeting. there are a few leaflets advertising a convention in Canterbury floating round meetings here. my current sponsor tells me its an unofficial convention and the guys at the Tuesday meeting are the ones who distribute them round here and some leaflets got dropped off at my home group (which is not a cult meeting) but we put them straight into the recycling box.

I think I was lucky as anyone else might have been too hurt to come back to AA. I never wish to go back to that meeting and I would advise any newcomers to think twice before they go. I suggest (forgive me for using that word) that you add the meeting to your cult where to find page. It's a real shame as a lot of the people I saw there were genuinely nice and had been around for years.

Keep up the good work

S”

Comment: Unfortunately this is a pretty typical account of those who have the misfortune to fall into the hands of the cult (with the usual mix of “love bombing “ and coercion in order to gain compliance!) This is NOT what carrying the AA message is about!

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(our particular thanks to this member for their courage in speaking out)

PS Contact details for the venue are included below (for complaints):

Richmond & Putney Unitarian Church
Ormond Road
Richmond
Surrey
TW10 6TH

Rev Linda Hart: revlahart@gmail.com
Vestry phone number (Rev Linda Hart): 0208 332 9675

The Canterbury AA convention which is … not an AA convention!

Yep the cult is busily “running the show” again at Canterbury University. In July, or so it appears, we can all look forward to “A weekend of open AA meetings and fellowship” - but then it's not entirely clear which AA we might be talking about here! Would that be the AA that adheres to its principles, observes the Traditions and doesn't encourage the abuse of newcomers, or would that be the cult which does precisely the reverse? We suspect the latter in this instance. The flier 'promoting' this event (in Word document format) came to us from a source well distanced from the convention's Kent location which suggests that it is being widely 'touted' throughout the region (if not nationally). When we passed the information on to our various contacts in East Kent they seemed entirely ignorant of the forthcoming 'gig' (which would suggest that East Kent Intergroup too is none the wiser). But if you look carefully at the small print at the bottom of the flier there is that soooo telling statement:

“This is not an official AA Conference Approved Event”

Now if you refer to Guideline No. 15 “Conventions” (Revised April 2002) in the handbook for 2010 you will find the following:

“ORGANISATION

The decision to hold a convention ought to be made by the group conscience of the appropriate Intergroup or Region (the Sponsoring Body).

A committee should be elected for the purpose of planning, organising and running the event. The convention committee should have overall responsibility and be accountable to the Sponsoring Body for financial and all other matters. They should bear in mind the need for conventions to be self-supporting.”

ie. this is effectively NOT an AA convention. Moreover its financing is quite unclear. There is no mention on the flier of a registration fee or “voluntary contributions” although there are references to accommodation costs, and an “optional” dinner dance at £20.00 per head. Ah well they do say “misery is optional” so we'll be giving that a miss! Well actually we'll be giving the whole thing a miss. If we want to go to an AA convention then we'll go to an actual AA convention and not some fraudulent copy.

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)