Cults and A.A. Conventions

An A.A. member’s escape from the clutches of a cult… 


“The Recovery Alliance Inc. (RAI), bills itself as a self-help organization dedicated to the advancement of recovery for what the group refers to as “obsessive-compulsive” persons, such as alcoholics, compulsive eaters, and compulsive gamblers. RAI practices the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), but claims to do it in a way that is more “pure” than AA and other “Anonymous” fellowships. RAI believes that the 12-step programs have been watered down over the years and no longer practice the true program of recovery as it was intended by its founders.

RAI is structured as a non-profit organization, with a board of directors and an organizational charter. Although the board elects a chairman, all the members’ activities, beliefs, and direction evolve from the founding member, Donald Gilroy. Gilroy teaches that the “illness” that members are recovering from is centered in selfishness and self-centeredness. To recover, members must commit their lives to selfless self-sacrifice. They are subjected to, among other things, rigorous and tiresome fund-raising, schedules, public humiliation, rigidly controlled diets, and other abusive conduct.

I wrote the following letter to RAI members two years after leaving the group.

March 7, 1992

Hi!

This week has marked two years since I left the Recovery Alliance, Inc. (RAI). I am writing this letter just to let you know what it’s like on this side. I have so much to say that I could go on for pages, but I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

I have seen you guys several times – fund-raising, of course. I saw you selling T-shirts in Seattle and raffle tickets at the Durham Fair. I have seen you at car shows, department stores, and at the fireworks. My first reaction when I see you is repulsion, but it is quickly followed by sorrow. I know what it is like for you, since you are all victims (yes victims do exist), just as I was.

It is interesting what I am able to see now that I couldn’t see then. For as long as I was there I knew that I was unhappy, but I was told that the problem was with my recovery, not my environment.

I remember making the decision to leave. It was like all of a sudden being struck with a bolt of sanity. I’m sure you all think it was because I had a boyfriend. Well, I made my decision a couple of months before I met him. After having been placed on probation, I remember standing in my room and thinking, “I can’t do this anymore. I want to leave.” It was not the first time I had ever had that thought, but this time it was different. This time it was followed by another thought, which was “I don’t care what the consequences will be.” As you observed, I made no attempt to meet the terms of my probation.

When I first left, I was quite confused. Fortunately, I quickly got help from some professionals who have experience with working with former members of RAI and other similarly destructive groups. They helped me see the insanity of the situation. The loss of freethinking. The emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse we were all suffering. The psychopathology of Donald. I was helped by some books – Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan and People of the Lie by Scot Peck.

Well, the consequences of my leaving were nothing like I expected. What am I like today? I’m basically a happy person. I have a good job in my field with a Fortune 500 company. I have a nice apartment (yes, with off-street parking) and a decent car. I have a handful of close friends and many acquaintances. Most of my friends are in 12-step programs, but some aren’t. I have good relationships with my family.

Most of all I have freedom. I probably average three AA meetings a week – sometimes more, sometimes less. If I’m tired or just don’t feel like going to a meeting, I stay home. Or I go somewhere else. I keep busy, but make time for myself too. I clean my apartment every week. I just finished reading a 1,000 page novel. On weekends I frequently get together with friends and go dancing, hiking, or on day trips. I have dated several guys in the last two years, and have had a couple of steady relationship, too.

How’s my relationship with God? Fine. I worship the god of my own understanding.

I am not overweight, nor am I underweight. I eat two or three meals a day, and sometimes, if I feel like it, I have a snack in between.

I am able to express whatever is on my mind, and I don’t have to follow any formula. I attend fairs and festivals as a participant, not as a vendor. I attend AA conventions as an AA member, not as a vendor – and not as a person with superior knowledge.

Not a Friday has gone by when I haven’t come home from a long work week and said to myself, “Thank God I don’t have to go to that awful meeting.”

I feel sorry for other former members who haven’t received the help they need. Many of them end up with tremendous guilt as a result of RAI’s teachings. Some have joined other destructive groups. One has died. Fortunately, however, most of us have been helped by the proper professionals and have been able to live happy lives.

I wish you all the best, and hope that you will soon realize the amount of control and deception taking place in your surroundings.

Sincerely,

Holly”

(Extract from “Captive Hearts, Captive Minds –Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Abusive Relationships” (Hunter House, 1994) pp. 8-10 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captive_Hearts,_Captive_Minds 

Comment: A book by one of the world's leading cult experts, J. Lalich, Professor of Sociology at California State University. Forward by M. Langone, Executive Director of the International Cul;tic Studies Association (ICSA)  http://www.icsahome.com/home  So, read all about it, cults have been targeting A.A. for some time.  Like the Primary Purpose cult, Back to Basics mob, Clancy I and the Pacific Group, RAI replays the same record, albeit stuck in a groove… “RAI practices the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), but claims to do it in a way that is more “pure” than AA and other “Anonymous” fellowships. RAI believes that the 12-step programs have been watered down over the years and no longer practice the true program of recovery as it was intended by its founders...” … Blah, blah, blah…

Watch out for those T-shirt vendors and lecturers at A.A. conventions - they may be victims in need of specialist counselling!

Cheerio, 

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

GSO (GB) Leads Members Away from Traditions

See GSO website “Event Calendar” April 2014

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/Members/Event-Calendar

“San Diego Spring Round Up” 
http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/

Location: Town & Country Resort Hotel, 500 Hotel Circle North, San Diego, CA 92108 

Agenda
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Comedian and Ice Cream Social with Starbucks Coffee and Häagen-Dazs Ice cream - $30  

http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event1.asp 

Friday April 18, 2014

1/2 - Day Deep Sea Fishing Trip aboard the Chubasco II - $45 
http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event2.asp 

Friday April 18, 2014

Golf Tournament, Riverwalk Golf Club  -   $75 
http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event3.asp 

Saturday April 19, 2014

5K and 10K Fun Run/Walk- $20    
http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event4.asp 

Saturday April 19, 2014,

Tennis Tournament, Peninsula Tennis Club - $15 
http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event5.asp 

Saturday April 19, 2014

A.A. Breakfast/ Speaker - $36  

http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event8.asp

Al-Anon Luncheon / Speaker -$38 

http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event9.asp

A.A. Banquet / Speaker - $49 

http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/event7.asp

San Diego Spring Roundup Radio Show!

Keith L of Midtown AA Group (note the promotional pop up of “Tough Love”)

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dailyrecovery/2013/06/21/then-and-now--keith-l-23-san-diego-spring-roundup-400

San Diego Spring Roundup convention CDs for sale $7.00 each or- $60.00 for full set

http://store.12steptapes.com/36thsandiegospringroundup.aspx

San Diego Spring Roundup Commemorative Merchandise

T Shirts $13 Ladies V Neck $17 Sweatshirt $25 Embroidered polo $22 Souvenir Coffee cup $7 Souvenir Travel coffee mug $12

http://www.sandiegospringroundup.com/register.asp

(Registration now closed)

Comment: Another promotional event that doesn’t say it is an AA event, but is clearly targeted at AA members. There’s loads of dosh to be made out of gullible alcoholics isn’t there? Just look at all those $$$$! We looked over the Roundup website to see what bona fide AA body is organising it and could only find a PO Box and a number of anonymous email addresses. While the gullible jump on a plane this Easter weekend to get fleeced and might even come back to the UK feeling grateful for it, what has happened to guardianship of traditions at GSO? Have they not heard of Traditions Five and Six?

http://www.aa.org/twelveandtwelve/en_tableofcnt.cfm

Perhaps not?

For more information, email gso@alcoholics–anonymous.org.uk where helpful staff can advise you about the General Warranties of Conference. Here’s an extract from Warranty Five:

“Privately, however, we can inform Traditions-violators that they are out of order. When they persist, we can follow up by using such other resources of persuasion as we may have, and these are often considerable…” (The AA Service Manual Combined with Twelve Concepts for World Service, p. 69) http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/en_bm-31.pdf

GSO staff can also advise you on how to submit a question/topic for Conference. If you’re stuck for ideas, here’s a suggestion for Conference 2015: “Should GSO (GB) use its website to indirectly promote Starbucks coffee, Häagen-Dazs ice cream and various other commercial enterprises. Yes or No?” Conference questions can be submitted directly to the Conference Co-ordinator at gso@alcoholics–anonymous.org.uk or via your local GSR, with appropriate background. (Hint, hint)

Now then, why would an alcoholic pay another $20 to have a fun run/walk, when the sane do it for free?

To find the answer to this intriguing question Google “Jogging in New York,” and then see the Washington Post’s “Midtown AA Group Leads Members Away from Traditions” http://blog.washingtonpost.com/rawfisher/2007/07/midtown_group_aa_group_leads_m.html and “The Dark Legacy of a Rehab Cult” http://www.thefix.com/content/aa-cults-synanon-legacy0009?page=all

Cheerio,

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
 

AA Dogma and the Newcomer

A post we believe worth quoting in full: (Source: San Diego Reader – Community Blog) 

“I Am Battling Alcoholism 

I will always have an affectionate affinity towards AA. AA feels homey; tolerant . . . It reminds me of my own big, happy dysfunctional family. In meetings, low-bottom drunks or angry people are perennially spouting off and the offenders are usually treated with kindness and tolerance

In the words of the founder of AA, Bill Wilson, AA is “maddeningly democratic.” Rarely do you see such inclusiveness in the ever increasingly divisive world we inhabit. Where can you see a parolee laughing and joshing with a prominent businessman?

However, there are some things that I have observed through the years that just don’t make sense to me. Sometimes, I believe some AAers can be extraordinarily myopic in their inability to see the “Big Picture.” But even worse is when the Big Picture is replaced by dogma. This is just my opinion mind you, and I certainly do not expect to sway or convince anyone I’m right. 

I believe Bill’s original program was practically unassailable: it was simple beautiful and effective. But, as with any other spiritual program/religion, when humans put their own twisted, agenda-ridden spin on things, the messages can get skewed.

I did not write this piece for the purpose of bashing AA. I wrote this for newcomers that may be encountering unforeseen issues and for AAers as food-for- thought. The following are three dogmatic statements you might hear as a newcomer. If you choose to not be bothered by them, great! But if you sense something unsettling about what you are hearing and not sure why, allow me to illuminate. . . 

1)You must have a higher Power, you must have a sponsor, you must do the steps in order to stay sober and be happy. Otherwise, you will drink again or be an unhappy dry drunk.

Absolutist, either-or-statements seem to be the biggest obstacle for most newcomers. They remind me of Christians telling non-believers: “If you don’t accept Jesus Christ as your savior you will go to hell.” When beliefs are presented as facts, it becomes dogma. The Webster’s definition of dogma: strict adherence to beliefs without question. Hello AA! I want to shake my home group sometimes and tell them: “We have no idea if the above mentioned statements we make to newcomers are categorically true. Some people do all of these things, and still fail. Others do none of the above, still don’t get drunk, and are happy.” 

I discovered while attending the interminably long albeit well-deserved DUI program I was mandated to attend that most of my fellow attendees had a wearily cynical view of AA. It seemed that many people were not adverse to having a sponsor or going to meetings; that was not it. It was the heavy handed, “either or” mentality that repelled potential newcomers. Of course many of my classmates wanted to get sober. But as newcomers, they simply could not-- without question--embrace some of the main tenets of AA after only a couple of meetings. Who asks you to just jump into something, giving it your all without asking questions? Cults do! Do not let AA people rush you into getting a sponsor right away or talk you into giving your entire life to AA. If you want to, great! But if you feel a little circumspect, not sure, that is okay, too

Believe me, if you stick around long enough, AA zealots, known as “Big Book Thumpers,” will start noticing you and will begin making “suggestions.” The salient suggestion is always: don’t be on the “periphery” of AA, be in the “center of the herd.” In my early sobriety, these zealot types tried to make me feel guilty and lazy for not participating more. But being able to objectively look back now, I realize remaining on the on the periphery proved to be wise. I discovered that many core members in my home group were seriously screwed up! They gossiped scandalously, were snobbish and cliquish. They also told newcomers not to take medication. 

I do not mean to imply that all meetings are created equal. Even though AA is supposed to be “democratic” as evidenced in the creation of the “Twelve Traditions,” unfortunately, hierarchies form. Usually the old timers of the meeting are running the show. They set the pace, the countenance, the ambience of the meeting. Whatever they engage in--good or bad--is going to have a formidable influence on the other members. I’ve seen meetings go seriously south because the kind, compassionate old timers had stopped coming and were replaced by members displaying all sorts of negative behavior. 

“Working with others” and “Spreading the message” are ways of doing service, giving back, and derivi [sic - section seems to be missing] 

Perhaps you are a successful doctor that has a drinking problem. And perhaps the AAer that is pontificating your head off after the meeting is a Willy Loman salesman type. He may be intimidated by you. But AA gives him the chance to shine and show you that he has “something” you don’t have: sobriety. For once in his life he can feel superior. See through this person’s insecurities and don’t let his condescension alienate you enough not to want to return to a meeting.

If you know you are an alcoholic and know that you have not been successful quitting on your own, you have probably come to the conclusion that you need help. You see that these AA people have been able to achieve long term sobriety and this gives you hope that you can too. You realize In order to be successful, taking direction is crucial. With that in mind, you become “willing to listen” and are “open to suggestions.” 

Okay, so here’s the rub. There is a quote from the Big Book said in the preamble of every AA meeting: “If you want we have and are willing to go to any lengths, then you are ready to take certain steps . . .” This quote can cause you problems. You see, some AAers can use this quote as a vehicle for their own agendas and need to control.

You may start feeling rather conflicted and confused. You know you need to be willing to take suggestions, do the work, and trust the process, but at the same time you may feel manipulated by an AAer. His “suggestions” seem more like “orders” that you may find unduly invasive. But, if you do not agree with a “suggestion” or simply will not take a “suggestion” you may be accused of not “going to any lengths” or told you are “unwilling.” So which one is true? Are you just being stubborn and unwilling, or is someone making unreasonable demands upon you? Sometimes the lines can get very blurred. Exercising discernment is paramount. Just because an old timer has sobriety does not mean they know better. Try and extrapolate if the person’s motives are altruistic, or if they are really just trying to control you or need to feel superior to you. 

2) You’ll feel relieved and serene after doing your Fourth Step. However, if you leave something out you’ll drink again.

If you are not familiar with the fourth step allow me to elaborate: the fourth Step is where you get honest. In the first part, you write down all your resentments and anger towards all the people and institutions that have wronged you. Following this, is the second part where you admit all your wrongs against people/ institutions. 

You will be told that a tremendous burden will be lifted and you will feel positively euphoric after you’ve unloaded. Okay? I was raised Catholic, so I’m intimately familiar with this step due to the weekly confessions we were required to attend growing up . . . Some may feel cleansed and better, but not all. Personally, I felt terrible doing my Fourth Step, due to the *** sponsors I had. I felt supremely judged, and a little stupid for confessing to the “wrong person” twice. One sponsor shook her head in disdainful disbelief about an omission concerning lying on my resume, and the other sponsor awaited my Sex Inventory as if I was * Star. When I did not tell her everything (I believe we have a right to our privacy—especially what we do in the bedroom should be no one’s business) she looked genuinely disappointed! I mean really! According to the film” Bill Wilson” and biographers research, Bill had affairs throughout his marriage, drinking or not. It’s doubtful a sexual inventory would have even been included if Bill had been faithful . . . not all of us have sexual hang-ups or liaisons we feel the need to confess. 

The next time I do my fourth step, I am going to a priest and I suggest you do the same. They are really experienced at this sort of thing. You will not be judged. But, if you choose to do it with your sponsor, or another AAer, please choose someone very much like you culturally that is in the same socio-economic class as you. So if you are an ex- prostitute, I’d suggest you confess to another ex-prostitute. Picking some uppity lady from the ‘burbs who would understand “affairs” but not “prostitution” could prove to be an epic mistake. Sponsors know they are not supposed to say anything about your step, but believe me some can’t help but gossip because that is their nature. You did not sign a privacy agreement with her so legally she can talk smack about you all she wants. It’s not like you can sue her for defamation!

3) All you need in order to recover is AA. You don’t need therapy, medication or education. I often wonder if Bill W. would even recognize his program today, it’s been so twisted by no doubt, well-meaning zealots. Yes, AA is a faith-based program. But that doesn’t translate into “not science based.” Bill W. was extremely interested in the science behind addiction. However, at the time, Bill only had anecdotal evidence to back up his “physical allergy,” and “disease” claims about alcoholism. Bill never chose to be willfully ignorant of science nor did he want his followers to do the same. He had great thirst for knowledge and had a lot of respect for the medical and science fields. At one point, he became obsessed with finding medical antidotes to cure his enduring depression. He also had a lot of respect for psychologists like Carl Jung and William James and wrote highly of them as well as quoting them in the Big Book. 

When I first got to AA ten years ago, and even today, I hear a lot of people joke about how patently useless shrinks and medication are in curing alcoholism. And that the only things you need are the AA program and the Big Book. Once in an AA meeting I brought up a book I’d read, “Under the Influence” an evocative book written by a doctor explaining the genetic component of alcoholism. I soon found myself besieged by Thumpers at the end of the meeting, telling me the only book I needed to be concerned with was the “Big Book.” This I found rather contrary. Considering most AA cadets fully embrace the alcoholism-as-a-disease concept; it would naturally follow these people would want to know everything about their disease. If you had cancer, wouldn’t you want to read up on it? So why were they so repelled by a book explain the disease of alcoholism? Because they have let dogma replace reason that is why.

Listening can be dangerous to your health. It has been estimated that approximately forty-percent of all addicts have concomitant psychological disorders fueling their addiction. Yes, AA is the salient component of recovery from alcoholism, but it is not all. Many people have committed suicide or have been hospitalized due to AAers telling them not to take medicine or seek therapy. 

AA is not perfect. If you are a person that refuses to embrace dogma, you will be able to admit this. However, if you are a zealot, and hear something negative about AA-- no matter how accurate the assessment is--you will, more than likely, be fiercely defensive of all things AA. There is nothing I can do to change your mind. But please, old timers: Don’t be sanctimonious in your convictions. Allow the newcomer to come to his own conclusions on his own time, not yours.”

Comment: The last are admirable sentiments but we doubt somehow the author's exhortations will be heeded. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are hardly essentials for recovery within the cult.

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)