Over
the last five years or so that aacultwatch
has been in operation we have regularly received mails from members
who have become so disenchanted with what is going on in AA that they
have either decided to stop coming to the meetings or have reduced
their contact to a minimum. Many of these are newcomers who
generally fall into the former category. There is no way of
accurately estimating the numbers of these that have left because of
the activities of the cult(s) operating with AA. It would be an
exaggeration - and probably an over-dramatisation - to say that these
have been abandoned, left to their own devices, and to a probable
alcoholic death. Nowadays AA is not the only “show” in town and
there are a number of other therapeutic avenues open to those
sufferers who find AA for one reason or another unappealing (which
is all to the good in our view). However, and perhaps more
significantly (though not more importantly), we also regularly receive
reports from those with longer term recovery (15 years and upwards)
who are similarly exercising these options, and frequently for
precisely the same reasons. These, however, are in a more
fortunate position. Many will have established a network of friends
within AA with whom they are in regular contact and who serve as a
surrogate fellowship outside the formal structure. Contrary to the
received wisdom it is perfectly possible to remain sober without
necessarily attending AA meetings. But from the fellowship's point
of view can we afford to lose such vital experience especially when
it's founded so soundly upon the principles of AA (something to which
the cult members and groups tend to pay mere lip service)? However we
have heard recently that some members (ever adaptable), tired of the
endless clone speak of cult members, and bored with their evident
hypocrisy etc, craving moreover (dare we say!) some kind of genuine
fellowship have set up a “home” group …. and by “home”
group we mean a group meeting in someone's home! It is not clear
whether this is open to anyone or whether it's by invitation only but
the initiative is clearly intended to provide a forum where members
will be freed from the need to listen to … how shall we put this …
delicately....... interminable cult CRAP! These groups will of
necessity tend to be small which again we can only regard as a
singular improvement on the “Nuremberg rally” feel that
characterises a typical cult meeting. In a smaller more homely venue
perhaps something can be recaptured of the friendly and relaxed
atmosphere which permeated the early meetings of AA (see bottom of p.
159, Alcoholics Anonymous). Members, assured in their own recovery, tend not to
be susceptible to the “fool's gold” served up by the cult and are
therefore correspondingly disinclined to evangelise. Such groups do
not need a “guru” or “Big Book expert” to guide their
deliberations. They have already understood the “message” and
require no “special interpretations”:
“As
finally expressed and offered, they [The Twelve Steps] are simple in
language, plain in meaning. They are also workable by any person
having a sincere desire to obtain and keep sobriety. The results are
proof. Their simplicity and workability are such that no special
interpretations, and certainly no reservations, have ever been
necessary.” (Extract from Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers p 227)
And
so..... if you're tired of being lectured by half wits and weary of
having your recovery criticised by someone who's still got alcohol
dribbling out of the corner of their mouth …. if you're fed up with
'scripted' sharing and would just love to hear someone speak from
both their head AND their heart …... if you want to be part of
something that's genuine and would rather not carry on listening to people “whistling in
the dark” …... if you crave a real fellowship that is based on
compassion and empathy rather than upon rote and precept ….. if
you hunger to be simply an alcoholic amongst alcoholics and, more
importantly, a fellow amongst fellows with not a “big cheese” in
sight …... if the answer's yes then the solution is simple.. set up
a “home” group .. a REAL home group....
A
few thoughts (we're sure you can figure out the rest!):
Some
of the advantages have already been mentioned. However it's worth bearing in mind that the costs
incurred by such groups would also be much reduced. There are no hall
charges to pay etc with people just chipping in for tea and biccies or whatever takes your fancy... Jaffa Cakes! .... The question of whether they are open to all (in which case
you're back to the original problem of the clones sticking their oar
in) or by invitation only, for example, has to be a matter for each
group to consider. There are however certain advantages in adopting
an 'invitation only' policy including obviously the fact that the
extremists can be excluded quite easily. After all they can always
go off to a cult meeting can't they? Moreover these groups would
provide something of a safe haven where confidentiality is more
easily assured. However, in the latter case (invitation only) we believe such groups
should not refer to themselves as AA groups or meetings (by reason of
Tradition 3). Moreover they should not send any money to intergroup
(by reason of Tradition 7). These groups although functioning in
almost every respect like an AA group are for the purposes of the
traditions actually outside 'organisations'. Otherwise we reckon the
sky's the limit, and the variations inexhaustible, subject only to your
imagination!
Cheerio
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
PS
We'd be interested to hear from anyone who has experience of setting
up such groups – the pitfalls to avoid and so on
