Extracts
from our forum: http://forums.delphiforums.com/aacultwatch
under thread: “advice
on how to report a cult meeting
”
“Hi
….....,
I'm impressed that the
meeting has gone off the official list. well done for flagging it. I
think you’re definitely not imagining things. Bill W. called this
type of ‘tough love- do as I say, believe as I believe, do it my
way or else..’ type of sponsorship as “rank aggression in the
name of spirituality” in his April 1961 AA Grapevine article. He implied this “rank aggression”
may have been partly responsible for turning away some of the (in his
estimate) “maybe half a million” who had walked into AA and then
back out in the first 25 years. At the time of writing the article
the total AA membership was estimated to number 300,000. So during
the first 25 years, according to Bill W., maybe another 500,000 more
had walked out. Dr. Bob also wrote an article in 1944 “On Cultivating Tolerance” in which he observed those who had
earnestly worked the steps also acquired a greater degree of
tolerance of other's beliefs. He implied without tolerance we can
become “smug and superior” and have a “patronizing attitude”
that these attitudes are not helpful to others that we are trying to
help. One of the by-products of tolerance he described as “a
greater freedom from a tendency to cling to preconceived ideas and
stubbornly adhered-to opinions.”
I’ll post Bill W’s
and Dr. Bob’s AA Grapevine articles in the “I heard it through
the Grapevine" thread on this forum. Bill W’s article is also
published in “The Language of the Heart” pages 251-254, under the
the title “God As We Understand Him: The Dilemma of No Faith.” If
you haven't already done so, I suggest you buy the book ‘The
Language of the Heart’ which contains most of Bill W’s AA
Grapevine articles from 1944-1970. Dr. Bob’s article “On
Cultivating Tolerance” is published in ‘Dr. Bob and the good Old
Timers page 273.
I thought you might find
it helpful to read some extracts from AA literature about
sponsorship. These are quoted in the AA minority report 2013, section Seven, titled “AA Sponsorship the
antithesis to ‘Big Book’ sponsorship” (pages 34-37). The AA
Minority Report 2013 can be found on the link at the top of the
aacultwatch blog. These pages will also point you to other AA
literature on sponsorship. There ought to be no pressure applied in
sponsorship. This is summed up perhaps best I think in these pieces
by Bill W:
“For example The Twelve
Steps are not crammed down anybody’s throat. They are not sustained
by any human authority.” (“Rules Dangerous but Unity Vital” AA Grapevine September 1945, The
Language of the Heart page 8)
“It
is tradition among us that the individual has the unlimited right to
his own opinion on any subject under the sun. He is compelled to
agree with no one; if he likes he can disagree with everyone. And
indeed, when on a ‘dry bender,’ many AAs do.” (“Comments on the Wylie Ideas” AA Grapevine September 1944. Language of
the Heart page 98)
“Newcomers
are approaching AA at the rate of tens of thousands yearly. They
represent almost every belief and attitude imaginable. We have
atheists and agnostics. We have people of nearly every race, culture
and religion. In AA we are supposed to be bound together in the
kinship of a common suffering. Consequently, the full individual
liberty to practice any creed or principle or therapy whatever should
be a first consideration for us all. Let us not, therefore, pressure
anyone with our individual or even our collective views. Let us
instead accord each other the respect and love that is due to every
human being as he tries to make his way toward the light. Let us
always try to be inclusive rather than exclusive; let us remember
that each alcoholic among us is a member of AA, so long as he or she
so declares.” (From “Responsibility is Our Theme” AA Grapevine July 1965, The Language of the Heart
page 333)
In
answer to your question: “Do you think I could raise my concerns in
a fellowship share, without of course referring to my ex sponsor by
name.” Yes you can, it is your experience of recovery, in AA we
share our experience strength and hope. You can do this in your
sharing at meetings, and maybe even better, you are entitled to call
for a group conscience to specifically discuss your concern. During
the group conscience you could ask for the matter to to be raised at
intergroup by the group's GSR, (This subject to whether the majority
of the group think it a good idea; or the GSR can raise the matter at
intergroup on his/her own conscience); perhaps suggest a intergroup
workshop on sponsorship. It is OK to constructively criticise by
raising concerns. This is pointed out in Concept IX (especially the
section “Leadership in AA: Ever a Vital Need” ) and in Concept
V, the "Right of Appeal" for the redress of personal
grievances. “Our Critics can be our Benefactors” was written by Bill W. in the
April 1963 AA Grapevine (The Language of the Heart p 345). Though, as
a newcomer be aware that with an emotional age stuck in the terrible
twos, some alcoholics don’t like being criticised, so if you do
criticise constructively, you can sometimes expect a few of what Bill
W. called "our destructive critics "to direct their wrath
at yourself in return. As Bill W. described in Concept IX: “They
pitch gobs of rumors, gossip and general scuttle-butt to gain their
ends - all for the good of AA of course!" So be prepared, in my
experience some of it can be malicious, but all hot air in the end. I
think as newcomer you’ll need to gauge the general feeling in your
locality. I suggest you not stick your neck out too much, unless you
know you have a reasonable amount of support, otherwise you might
find yourself feeling isolated.
Another
good way to air your concerns is to write them in articles to Share
Magazine. You can also do this in AA Grapevine (The International
journal for Alcoholics Anonymous) and the AA Grapevine “What’s On Your Mind Forum” (I’m not sure if you need to subscribe to
AA Grapevine to post on the forum or not, but you could contact AA
Grapevine to find out. This sort of thing is very much the topic of
conversation on the forums. I’d have a look at the AA Grapevine
"What's On Your Mind forum", "New to AA” section
first. I think I have seen newcomers having similar experiences to
yourself.
If
you would like air your views in Share Magazine, here’s the link to
write articles to Share Magazine
Link
to AA Grapevine “What’s On Your Mind forum”
http://www.aagrapevine.org/forums/i-say-forum
Link
to AA Grapevine http://www.aagrapevine.org/
I
agree with you entirely when you said “I believe we have a duty of
care to protect the most vulnerable, and that means mainstream AA
reaching out to the most vulnerable in the same way these extremists
do.” This duty of care is a principle that runs throughout the
Concepts, Traditions and guidelines.
Concept
XII, Warranty Six: “..that care will be observed to respect and
protect all minorities; that no action should ever be personally
punitive;” and “…that our conference will be ever prudently be
on guard against tyrannies great and small, whether these be found in
the majority or in the minority.”
Concepts
V, IX and XII can be found online in the AA Service Manual Combined
with the Twelve Concepts for World Service
http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/en_bm-31.pdf
and in the AA Service Handbook for Great Britain.
Guideline
17, Personal Conduct matters can be found in the AA service Handbook for Great Britain
I
think what many don’t yet appreciate is that many newcomers who run
into this type of sponsorship and don’t stay in AA, carry a
negative message about their bad AA experience to their counsellors,
doctors, friends, family. This has resulted in AA being accused of
using cult like and bullying methods by some health professionals and
this has been reported in national press. The Washington Post article
on today’s aacultwatch blog (Fri 22nd March) about the
controversy that is going on in AA is another example of how this
fundamentalist neo Oxford Group/ Big Book Study cult is splitting AA
and damaging public relations. Maybe if there was more awareness of
the harmful effect this cult is having on AA public relations, then
more people in AA might be more concerned and then be more actively
involved in protecting newcomers and AA itself.”
Cheerio
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
