“Being convinced,
we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our
will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we
mean by that, and just what do we do?
The first requirement
is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly
be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision
with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most
people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an
actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange
the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in
his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people
would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody,
including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In
trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite
virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest
and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean,
egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he
is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens?
The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't
treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on
the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case
may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be
somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame.
He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic
trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind?
Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and
happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not
evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he
wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate,
snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his
best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
Our actor is
self-centered - ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays.
He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine
in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the
minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century;
politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the
rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who
thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all
and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us
concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness -
self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and
self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.
Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we
invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions
based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we
think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves,
and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot,
though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we
alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!
God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely
getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and
philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them
even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our
self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had
to have God's help.”
(our emphases)
Comment: The whole
section describe a typical cult member perfectly. So to sum up – a
cult member is someone who hasn't made it past Step Three – and
isn't even trying!
Cheers
The Fellas (Friends
of Alcoholics Anonymous)
