Question
2:
Would
the Fellowship discuss, share experience and make recommendations
whether, throughout AA's service structure, members of special
interest groups are sufficiently represented?
[See
also: The Traditions, Preamble and Concepts]
“Well,
…....., you’re certainly entitled to your opinion, as am I. I
disagree with yours. There aren’t any women’s groups in my area,
but plenty of women in the AA meetings. That’s because the meetings
in my area tend to go along with AA traditions and are inclusive to
all alcoholics whatever their oddity or special purpose. I guess the
women gather in groups to talk about their women alcoholic things
outside the meetings over a game of ten pin bowling or something. Or
maybe they take up the suggestion in the Big Book on page 74 and talk
them over with a doctor or a psychologist. I go along with …... in
the above article “A sense of humor seems to be the remedy
here--plus the first active practice of a little humility.” “
“Thanks
….... perhaps I did misunderstand you. Perhaps you misunderstood
me. On the whole I don’t think alcoholics are the best of
communicators, but I’m sure our intent is for the best. I’m glad
we agree on something. I go along with “live and let live” up to
a point, but not beyond the limits defined in Tradition Four; Concept
XII, warranties five and six; and guideline 17. I think there are certain times when to say “live and let
live” is to avoid social responsibility.
I think the “live and let live” slogan was intended to remind each individual AA member within a meeting to have the humility to tolerate other’s freedom of opinion and speech and to allow them to find their own way as to how they decide to interpret the AA program for themselves. It was not intended for AA members to turn a blind eye to deviance from AA Traditions which protect our common welfare. Contrary to “live and let live” in certain instances, Traditions One, Four, and Concept XII, warranty five call for the right to assert responsible action: “ Privately, however, we can inform Traditions-violators that they are out of order. When they persist, we can follow up by using such other resources of persuasion as we may have, and these are often considerable. Manifested in this fashion, a persistent firmness will often bring the desired result.” (Extract, Concept XII, Warranty Five). This social responsibility in Traditions is broadly summed up in these extracts from guideline 17:
“In terms of AA Tradition, it is the responsibility of all of us to ensure that the carrying of the message, whether to prospective or new or vulnerable or established members, is done honestly and decently. We also understand that our Twelve Traditions including that of Group autonomy does not place Groups or members above the law, and that when individuals act injuriously to others they are legally accountable. This will, of course, be generally understood in that our First Tradition reminds us that all members and Groups have a responsibility in respect to the common welfare and protection of the individual member.” (Extract, Guideline 17)
“Failure to challenge and stop inappropriate behaviour gives the offender permission to repeat the offensive behaviour and encourages others to follow suit.” (Extract, Guideline 17)
On the point of the slogan “live and let live” I think the meaning of this is summed up by the following:
“The paradox is that the member of A.A. approaches his suffering alcoholic brother not from the superiority and strength of his position of recovery but from the realization of his own weakness. The member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness. He does not speak of how misguided the still suffering alcoholic is; he speaks of how misguided he once was. He does not sit in judgement of another but in judgment of himself as he had been”. (Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age p 279)
“Newcomers are approaching AA at the rate of tens of thousands yearly. They represent almost every belief and attitude imaginable. We have atheists and agnostics. We have people of nearly every race, culture and religion. In AA we are supposed to be bound together in the kinship of a common suffering. Consequently, the full individual liberty to practice any creed or principle or therapy whatever should be a first consideration for us all. Let us not, therefore, pressure anyone with our individual or even our collective views. Let us instead accord each other the respect and love that is due to every human being as he tries to make his way toward the light. Let us always try to be inclusive rather than exclusive; let us remember that each alcoholic among us is a member of AA, so long as he or she so declares.” (Extract “Responsibility is Our Theme” AA Grapevine July 1965, The Language of the Heart page 333)
“For example The Twelve Steps are not crammed down anybody’s throat. They are not sustained by any human authority.” (“Rules Dangerous but Unity Vital” AA Grapevine September 1945, The Language of the Heart page 8)
I think within the general theme of the Traditions and Concepts there is the responsibility to guide group policy toward the Traditions. I don’t think it is a matter of ostracizing groups, but informing them of Traditions. If they feel ostracized by an informing of Traditions, then they have made their choice. They can either abide by Traditions or feel ostracised. “Each group has but one primary purpose...” I think it really is as simple as that. If women want to book a hall and have a hen night then that’s fine, just don’t call it an AA meeting, or just list the meeting on the meetings list without the “women’s” bit. That goes for any other "special interest" meeting. I think this because one day a lonely, unemployed, homeless, scruffy, shaking, depressed, smelly and confused, 3’2” high, gay, male, Moslem turned Christian turned Hindu turned Atheist turned Agnostic turned Alcoholic dwarf, who’s having a lot of trouble walking along the pavement without tripping over his beard, and who’s paranoid he’s different from everybody else, is desperate, but has plucked up his courage to get to an AA meeting, might just give that women’s meeting a miss. This, because he looks at “women’s” bit on the meetings list, and fears he won’t fit in. Then gripped with that pit of lonely despair which he knows can’t wait ’til tomorrow, he goes somewhere else and gets drunk. And he never comes back. And nobody in AA knows that he almost came and went. I sometimes wonder how many alcoholics almost come to AA and go, before they even walk through the door. One cannot tell. So I think it’s better to always remember the still suffering alcoholics, because we have to keep AA meetings dead simple for them.”
I think the “live and let live” slogan was intended to remind each individual AA member within a meeting to have the humility to tolerate other’s freedom of opinion and speech and to allow them to find their own way as to how they decide to interpret the AA program for themselves. It was not intended for AA members to turn a blind eye to deviance from AA Traditions which protect our common welfare. Contrary to “live and let live” in certain instances, Traditions One, Four, and Concept XII, warranty five call for the right to assert responsible action: “ Privately, however, we can inform Traditions-violators that they are out of order. When they persist, we can follow up by using such other resources of persuasion as we may have, and these are often considerable. Manifested in this fashion, a persistent firmness will often bring the desired result.” (Extract, Concept XII, Warranty Five). This social responsibility in Traditions is broadly summed up in these extracts from guideline 17:
“In terms of AA Tradition, it is the responsibility of all of us to ensure that the carrying of the message, whether to prospective or new or vulnerable or established members, is done honestly and decently. We also understand that our Twelve Traditions including that of Group autonomy does not place Groups or members above the law, and that when individuals act injuriously to others they are legally accountable. This will, of course, be generally understood in that our First Tradition reminds us that all members and Groups have a responsibility in respect to the common welfare and protection of the individual member.” (Extract, Guideline 17)
“Failure to challenge and stop inappropriate behaviour gives the offender permission to repeat the offensive behaviour and encourages others to follow suit.” (Extract, Guideline 17)
On the point of the slogan “live and let live” I think the meaning of this is summed up by the following:
“The paradox is that the member of A.A. approaches his suffering alcoholic brother not from the superiority and strength of his position of recovery but from the realization of his own weakness. The member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness. He does not speak of how misguided the still suffering alcoholic is; he speaks of how misguided he once was. He does not sit in judgement of another but in judgment of himself as he had been”. (Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age p 279)
“Newcomers are approaching AA at the rate of tens of thousands yearly. They represent almost every belief and attitude imaginable. We have atheists and agnostics. We have people of nearly every race, culture and religion. In AA we are supposed to be bound together in the kinship of a common suffering. Consequently, the full individual liberty to practice any creed or principle or therapy whatever should be a first consideration for us all. Let us not, therefore, pressure anyone with our individual or even our collective views. Let us instead accord each other the respect and love that is due to every human being as he tries to make his way toward the light. Let us always try to be inclusive rather than exclusive; let us remember that each alcoholic among us is a member of AA, so long as he or she so declares.” (Extract “Responsibility is Our Theme” AA Grapevine July 1965, The Language of the Heart page 333)
“For example The Twelve Steps are not crammed down anybody’s throat. They are not sustained by any human authority.” (“Rules Dangerous but Unity Vital” AA Grapevine September 1945, The Language of the Heart page 8)
I think within the general theme of the Traditions and Concepts there is the responsibility to guide group policy toward the Traditions. I don’t think it is a matter of ostracizing groups, but informing them of Traditions. If they feel ostracized by an informing of Traditions, then they have made their choice. They can either abide by Traditions or feel ostracised. “Each group has but one primary purpose...” I think it really is as simple as that. If women want to book a hall and have a hen night then that’s fine, just don’t call it an AA meeting, or just list the meeting on the meetings list without the “women’s” bit. That goes for any other "special interest" meeting. I think this because one day a lonely, unemployed, homeless, scruffy, shaking, depressed, smelly and confused, 3’2” high, gay, male, Moslem turned Christian turned Hindu turned Atheist turned Agnostic turned Alcoholic dwarf, who’s having a lot of trouble walking along the pavement without tripping over his beard, and who’s paranoid he’s different from everybody else, is desperate, but has plucked up his courage to get to an AA meeting, might just give that women’s meeting a miss. This, because he looks at “women’s” bit on the meetings list, and fears he won’t fit in. Then gripped with that pit of lonely despair which he knows can’t wait ’til tomorrow, he goes somewhere else and gets drunk. And he never comes back. And nobody in AA knows that he almost came and went. I sometimes wonder how many alcoholics almost come to AA and go, before they even walk through the door. One cannot tell. So I think it’s better to always remember the still suffering alcoholics, because we have to keep AA meetings dead simple for them.”
Comment:
In connection with the above guideline perhaps it's time AA groups,
intergroups etc adopted and implemented a formal complaints procedure
in order to deal with any abuses that fall short of criminal conduct!
Cheerio
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
See
also AA Minority Report 2013
