Extract
from the aacultwatch forum (old):
“….....
The issue isn't to question the idea of sharing in a way that gives
hope to the newcomer. That is what we should do - share experience,
strength and hope, as indicated in our Preamble.
EXPERIENCE
is, of course, what happens in our lives and can include delightful
events or tragic events or just plain run-of-the-mill daily routine
events. Sometimes sharing "bad" experiences can give the
newcomer or others IDENTIFICATION. Identification is the starting
point of all healing in AA. It has been my experience that I should
never pre-judge what will or will not help my listeners.
STRENGTH
is what I get from the High Power(s) of my understanding. This is
what keeps me going, keeps me strong and gets me through good or bad
times. Remember - alcoholics don't really need an excuse to drink. I
wanted to drink just as much in the good times as the bad.
HOPE
is what I try to give the newcomer, and the alcoholic who suffers
(who may not necessarily be a newcomer), by showing that it is
possible to stay sober one day at a time, whatever the circumstances
of life. On my first day of sobriety I was homeless and destitute,
but I didn't drink. I went to a meeting that evening and began to
take further actions in order to recover my life. It started with the
first Step. That is one reason I still keep coming back, even after
26 years - to give people hope, to confirm that sobriety is possible
over a long period. And by doing so, it affirms my own recovery.
Besides, I love AA now and I really enjoy most meetings I attend.
The
issue in my post was about the phrase "I've never had a bad day"
which is not an AA promise, and is bandied about in the Cult groups I
have attended in order to bamboozle and control unsuspecting and
vulnerable people, and lead them into a state of co-dependency upon
another person (e.g. sponsor). It is a mechanism of control based
upon exaggerations and even lies. It also causes unnecessary distress
to people who, for one reason or another, cannot in the heart of
hearts say that they have "never had a bad day". (And,
let's be honest, that would include nearly all of the human race!) It
is a way of putting people down while putting others on a pedestal.
It also generates intolerance and division. Having witnessed the
distress and confusion this phrase causes newcomers, and others in
AA, I feel it right to unpack it, and to challenge it. That's all.”
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
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Have your say!
It is a common characteristic of cults to limit the "appropriate" range of emotional expression to a small, "positive" one. It does all the things you say above, as well as create a false cult-self, seprated off from the deeper truer self. It is shaming and controlling as you note. Most mainstream religions on the other hand (and Bill W. says somewhere that AA is not a religion but shares basic ideas with the major religions) acknowledge that humans have ups and downs and suggest ways to remain on a "spiritual path" while in the downs. The Ignatian Exercises, which supposedly had some influence on Bill while he was writing the 12&12 acknowledge this, and Bill's own long fight with depression, is a case in point. I have, btw, seens statements from the more cult-like versions of AA online that Bill W. of course did not properly work the steps and if he had done it their way he would not have had to fight those depressions. The more stable Dr. Bob, older, more mature, and not being around a long time and therefore with less biography to examine, is often their example. But we are not all Bobs in the Program. Some are Bills. And some are Daves, and Johns, and Liz's, and Mary's.
ReplyDeleteI meant, not being around a long time after getting sober, compared to Bill W. Dr, Bob lived a long life.
ReplyDelete