To thine own self be true

Polonius:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

Laertes:
Most humbly do I take my leave, my lord.

Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78–82

Extract from the aacultwatch forum (old): 

"Hi …....,

Thank you for your contribution.  I would like to comment on something important you said in your post. If you will allow me to quote you :

"....he pointed out that in a group such as joys your given a group identity. The trobel with that is you dont really know you you are with out that group. Your given an identity which is more what th group wants you to be insted opposed to a better version of who I am is an unique  individual. I was sort of like a clone. "

You have a very interesting insight into the dangers of being involved in cults like Joys/Vision/RTR etc. I have heard that some in AA think that is it is ok to be in a cult, and "whats the big deal?".  I beg to differ. And here is why.

What exactly does "recovery" mean? For me, it means to recover something that was lost. To get back something. When I was drinking I lost sobriety, yes. I also lost peace of mind, and gradually, over the years of progressive drinking, I lost my jobs, hobbies, interests, relationships, family, and even my identity. I didn't know who or what I was at the end of my drinking. I was either drunk as a skunk and numb in the brain, or hungover wishing I was dead.

Recovery, for me, has not just been about putting down the drink. It has been about RECOVERING ALL that was lost as a result of my drinking. Thus - returning to work, developing hobbies, finding interests, social involvements, emotional development, sex and romance, study, improving relationships with family and friends etc- all has been part of the recovery process. My identity is part of that. Finding out who I am as an individual, what my values and beliefs really are, and what interests me, what inspires me, and what I want to do with my life.  In order to achieve this I need freedom from alcohol and freedom of conscience and action. In the cults this is not really possible.

Yes, a cult member may be free from alcohol, but have they really "recovered" in the full sense of the word ?? In many cases I would say no. Talking "group-speak" all the time; having to live your life on the say-so of a sponsor; only being allowed to feel "happy" feelings or think "joyful" thoughts etc. - this is not learning to have one's own identity, process emotions in a healthy way or developing into an individual human being. In fact it is the reverse. It is abandoning responsibility for being an individual human being. 

During my involvement with the Vision cult, I became alienated from non-cult friends, I lost interest in many of my hobbies - in fact I dropped some of them altogether because I was told they were not "spiritual" enough. I became intolerant of people who didn't work the same "program" as I was working. I became cut off from the mainstream of AA. I became arrogant and narcissistic - wanting sponsees to be carbon copies of me. I became obese. I also became a liar - saying that I was "happy joyous and free" when inwardly and secretly I was not happy with myself at all. Not surprising ! How can anyone be happy when they are not really being themselves and not being true to themselves?!  I was too scared to be myself because the Vision cult dogma inferred that I would be being "self-centred" and would drink if I didn't tow the line.

Of course this was all fear based and unfounded cult rubbish. One of the happiest and most constructive days of my life was when I left the VIsion cult and walked out of the gates of St Peter's Eaton Square for the last time. I bless that day. For although I was sober, and had been for a long time at that point, I was still living in fear and not being true to myself. I had not yet fully "recovered" that which I had lost - my identity, my individuality, my humaness,  - all that makes me what I am. 

This all happened over 10 years ago now. I regard it as my "second spiritual awakening". Since I left Vision, life has had its ups and downs - because that is called NORMALITY. The slogans and group-think of Vision's, Joys etc try to shame normality in order to belittle, manipulate and control. ("Misery is optional" and "I've never had a bad day" are normality-shaming slogans. Have you ever heard normal people in day to day life say things like that?)

Cult involvement is very dangerous and can seriously damage your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual life.  This is my experience.......” 

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous) 

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