A
wildly imaginative dianoetic rambling concerning the the “basic
text” of Alcoholics Anonymous (viz. the Big Book) (our comments in
red print)
“Chapter
3
MORE
ABOUT ALCOHOLISM
Most
of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics [ie.
chronic alcoholics]. No person likes to think he is
bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not
surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by
countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his
drinking is the great obsession
of every abnormal
drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue
it into the gates of insanity or death.
We
learned [the
definition raises the question of whether this knowledge - or insight
- is effectively acquired through instruction or, in our view, more
likely experience. From this it follows that NO amount of study (of
the Big Book or any other text for that matter) will be sufficient in
itself to effect the required 'psychic' transformation. See for
example Rowland Hazard III
on the limitations of the purely cognitive approach]
that we had to fully concede
to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first
step in recovery. The delusion
that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be
smashed.
We
alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control
our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever
recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining
control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably
followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful
and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man
[and
woman!] that alcoholics of our type are in the grip
of a progressive [ie. chronic]
illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
We
are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones.
Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make
alcoholics of our kind like other men [but the
research looks promising]. We have tried every imaginable
remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed
always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with
alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker
out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it
hasn’t done so yet [“yet”
being the operative word].
Despite
all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to
believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception
and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to
the rule, therefore non-alcoholic. If anyone who is showing
inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face
and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him [although
definitionally (AA) he/she is probably not an alcoholic or alcoholic
of our type ie. “real” or chronic]. Heaven knows, we have
tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here
are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting
the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the
morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never
drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching
from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to
resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip,
swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more
physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms
and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums—we could
increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to
pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose
yourself [this
is the basis of AA's principle of self-diagnosis. Each individual
decides for themselves on the basis of their OWN experience and their
OWN judgement whether they are alcoholic or not. NO member has to
provide evidence of this or in any way 'qualify' themselves in order
to participate in AA. That is THEIR business!]
Step over to the nearest bar-room and try some controlled
drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It
will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with
yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if
you get a full knowledge of your condition [in
other words direct experience is usually the deciding factor when it
comes to taking Step One – not study (of the Big Book or for that
matter any other text) or bare cognition].
Though
there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking
careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the
difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while
there is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who
showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long
period because of an overpowering desire to do so. Here is one.
A
man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. He was very
nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with
more liquor. He was ambitious to succeed in business, but saw that he
would get nowhere if he drank at all. Once he started, he had no
control whatever. He made up his mind that until he had been
successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another
drop. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years
and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy
business career. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically
every alcoholic has [therefore
implicitly not all]
—that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had
qualified him to drink as other men. Out came his carpet slippers
and a bottle. In two months he was in a hospital, puzzled and
humiliated. He tried to regulate his drinking for a while,
making several trips to the hospital meantime. Then, gathering all
his forces [ie.
will-power], he attempted to stop altogether and found
he could not. Every means of solving his problem which money could
buy was at his disposal. Every attempt failed. Though a robust man at
retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years.
This
case contains a powerful lesson. Most of us have believed that if we
remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink
normally. But here is a man who at fifty-five years found he was
just where he had left off at thirty. We have seen the truth
demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an
alcoholic.’’ [ie. chronic alcoholism]
Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short
time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there
must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that
someday we will be immune to alcohol.
Young people may be encouraged by this man’s experience to think that
they can stop, as he did, on their own will power. We doubt if many
of them can do it, because none will really want to stop, and hardly
one of them, because of the peculiar mental
twist [delusional state]
already acquired, will find he can win out. Several of our crowd, men
of thirty or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found
themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years.
To
be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long
time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is
particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond
recall in a few years. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly
insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to
stop. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of
potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get
them to see it!*
As
we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the
point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions
whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving
liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far
advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our
drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming
serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a
considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic [ie.
progressing towards the chronic condition]. We think few, to
whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some
will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them
within a few weeks.
For
those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop
altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to
stop [a
key feature of recovery – alcoholics generally cannot be persuaded
to stop or for that matter compelled – even by other AA members
would you believe! Employing AA parlance they have to reach their own
'rock bottom']. Whether such a person can quit upon a
non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has
already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not [this
might be considered a rather contentious statement depending on one's
definition of the term “spiritual”. It is already evident that
agnostic/atheist/secular members can get and remain sober without any
kind of belief in God. The term “spiritual” (a somewhat vague
concept at the best of times) clearly is not necessarily synonymous
with any kind of adherence to a theistic religion]. Many of us
felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge
to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible . This is the
baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability
to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish
[from
this it may be seen that until an alcoholic has developed the
necessary experience-based insight into his or her own condition they
will not stop drinking].
How
then shall we help our readers determine, to their own
satisfaction [NOT
someone else's!], whether they are one of us? The
experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful, but we
think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers
and perhaps to the medical fraternity. So we shall describe some
of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for
obviously this is the crux of the problem.
__________________
*
True when this book was first published. But a 2003 U.S./Canada
membership survey showed about one-fifth of A.A.’s were thirty and
under.”
(our
emphases)
Note: the frequent repetition of the word "control"
Cheerio
The
Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
