“Behaviors
of the Narcissist
If
you have reached this page then you have an interest in NPD. By now
you've probably surfed through numerous web pages. Some of these
pages were understandable, some were complicated, and some were
intellectually challenging.
Listed
below is a list of behaviors, moods, and defense mechanisms used by
the narcissist that will make understanding NPD easier. Parts of this
list are based on the five-factor model of personality for
Compensatory NPD.
MOODS
1.
Chronic (long term) negative effects: anxious, fearful, tense,
irritable, angry
2.
Rapidly shifting moods: a narcissist's mood changes daily
BEHAVIOURS
1.
Inability to control impulses: eating, drinking, gambling, spending
money, etc.
2.
Overly concerned about health (somatic: imagined illnesses): the
narcissist is unable or refuses to stick to a diet, exercise plan or
any other medical regime recommended for him by a physician (except
in the case of pill taking). A narcissist usually adheres to taking
meds recommended but this doesn't take much effort on his part.
3.
Excessive talking: leads to inappropriate self-disclosure as well as
exposure about anything he knows or preceives about others
4.
Evokes fear in others: the web of mystery that the narcissist spins
around himself makes others leary of him
5.
Inability to spend time alone: he doesn't care who he spends time
with just so he isn't alone
6.
Overly dramatic presentation of emotion: could well be known as the
"drama" queen or king (negative emotions), exaggerates the
importance of his experiences
7.
Inappropriate attempts to dominate and control others: a narcissist
is demanding, expects to be treated "special," and thinks
everyone should immediately stop what they are doing to do what he
wants them to do
8.
Selfishness: he thinks of himself first, gets what he wants, and the
heck with anyone else
9.
Lack of practicality: a narcissist does not know what the word
practical means
10.
Jealous and envious: ridicules the achievements of others
11.
Paranoid thinking: inability to trust friends or family. A narcissist
has a tendency to trust people he has just met and tends to be
paranoid about people he should trust.
12.
A sense of time urgency: is impatient
13.
Socially rebellious and does not conform to societal expectations:
may lead to problems with the law or cause vocational problems
14.
Quarrelsomeness: ready to pick a fight at any time. The narcissist
wants attention whether it is positive or negative so quarreling is
as good a way to get attention as anything else.
15.
Exploitive and manipulative: lies, is rude to others, verbally
abusive especially to the opposite sex, alienates friends, hold on to
your money
16.
Inflated and grandiose sense of self: arrogant
17.
Shallow: in depth conversations are impossible with a narcissist. The
narcissist's conversations center around himself.
18.
Attention seeking: wants to be the center of attention and will do
anything to achieve this (may dress in a different or absurd way or
behave ridiculously)
19.
Lack of interest in and empathy with others: don't expect him to feel
sorry for you no matter what he does to you
20.
Narcissistic rage: directed toward anyone who injures an NPD
individual's self-esteem
21.
Underachievement: poor academic performance relative to ability or
vocational functioning
22.
Infidelity: has difficulty remaining with one partner sexually
23.
Assumes the identity of those with whom he associates: since he does
not have a true picture of his self, he assumes the morals, values,
and beliefs of others. A narcissist will change morals, values, and
beliefs overnight; if it benefits him in some way.
24.
Lazy: expects others to do for him what he could do for himself
25.
Does not accept blame: blames everyone else for his problems
26.
Irrational beliefs: unrealistic expectations of others to fill the
needs of the narcissist, perfectionist demands on self (a narcissist
usually tries so hard to be perfect he bungles everything up),
unwarranted pessimism about everything and everybody
27.
Fantasizes: preoccupied with fame, wealth, and achievement. The
narcissist acts out his fantasy through words or actions.
28.
Problems with aging or disabilities: a narcissist has difficulty with
being confined
29.
Loves his reflection: expect to see a lot of mirrors hanging in the
narcissist's house
30.
Entitlement: believes that everything is due them. The narcissist
just doesn't think the rules apply to him
31.
Hit and run relationships: the narcissist tends to go through
relationships rapidly--a narcissist can only hold it together for 3-4
months tops”
Source:
Chandra Alexander
Cheers
The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)
PS Our thanks to the member who sent in this extract
