“Inferiors Wanted: Apply to the
Narcissist
The narcissist is attracted to people
that are inferior to him. Associating with these people makes the
narcissist feel superior and confident that he can maintain his
narcissist supply and control his supply. Although, he would like to
socialize with the high status people whose names he frequently
drops, these individuals will seldom tolerate the narcissist's
inappropriate behavior for any length of time and in actuality these
individuals evoke fear in the narcissist. People with a true sense of
self, greater wealth, higher education, higher status, better looks,
or greater intelligence make the narcissist anxious although he would
never admit it. The narcissist feels a great repulsion for his
equals. He sees these people as a possible source of narcissistic
injury. He knows also that these people will not be around long
because he is unable to hold their interest. His depth of knowledge
in any subject is limited and his main topic of conversation centers
on himself.
The narcissist preys on those that
have a need for him and he exploits them endlessly. A homeless person
who needs a home which the narcissist can supply is abundant prey for
the narcissist. Those individuals whose intellectual pursuits are
limited are easy victims. People who are inferior to him are easier
for the narcissist to control and manipulate. He is better able with
these people to be the center of attention--one of his main quests in
life. As long as they have a need for the narcissist, he knows that
they will be around to give him narcissistic supply.
The narcissist is completely aware
that these people are inferior to him, but in order for him to
associate with them he must give these inferiors special qualities.
The elements of these qualities are not present, but are a part of
the narcissist's fantasy world. The narcissist may assign to a drug
addict a high IQ to prove to others that this individual is worthy of
his association. Since the narcissist is a pathological liar by
nature, he will back his tale up with some form of validation. He
must be able to say, "I associate with him because..."
The narcissist must hear the words,
"You are great, wonderful, funny, the smartest man alive."
He knows that he will never hear these words from his superiors or
his equals. But, if his inferiors need him for something, they will
easily verbalize these words. He knows his inadequacies and he knows
that he can't fool his superiors or equals for long.
The narcissist will also use his inferiors as a source for obtaining narcissistic supply. For instance, if someone is known to attract people that might be of benefit to the narcissist, the narcissist will befriend that person using him or her as a means to acquire narcissistic supply. A narcissist knows no limits when he searches for narcissistic supply and a narcissist is only in a state of satisfaction when he has narcissistic supply. Sadly, the tendency for the narcissist to secure narcissistic supply from his inferiors can make those living around the narcissist feel uncomfortable. A stream of undesirable characters is likely to flow through their life.
However, those that the narcissist
secure as narcissistic supply do not always have to be inferior in
statue. The narcissist seeks those that are gullible. They must be
gullible enough to believe the narcissist's pathological lies, his
self-aggrandizement, or must be vulnerable in some way that the
narcissist will be able to use them to enhance his own needs. So the
narcissist does not always use those of inferior statue as a supply.
Therefore, there might not be the ever-flowing stream of
undesirables, but individuals who are gullible or in some way enhance
the ego of the narcissist.
The problem with being the
narcissist's supply of adoration is that it does not come without
verbal abuse and negation. In the end the narcissist will verbally
abuse his supply in such a manner that if they do not need him
excessively he will run his supply off. This is what the narcissist
fears most--the lost of his supply. Unfortunately the narcissist is a
narcissist and, therefore, is incapable of being anything but a
narcissist. In the end he accomplishes what he fears most--losing his
narcissistic supply. The narcissist is also so paranoid that it is
difficult for others to withstand his paranoid episodes. All things
considered, usually the greatest amount of time that anyone can take
the narcissist's paranoia and the abuse dispensed by the narcissist
is two-three months. Then his supply needs a break.
It is not unusual for the narcissist
when he realizes that he is losing his supply to change courses. He
might mimic actions which indicate that he cares about the supply in
order to bring his supply back to him. The important word here is
mimic. Since the narcissist's emotions are so deeply repressed, he
does not know how to react consciously with his emotions. What he is
reacting to is fear--the fear of losing his narcissistic supply. He
has, however, watched others over the course of his life demonstrate
emotion. Therefore, he might say certain words or behave in such a
manner that indicates he has emotions. These are only transit periods
and should not in anyway be taken to mean that the narcissist is
demonstrating genuine emotions for his supply. His supply will always
be just an object. Objects can easily be thrown away and he knows
this. But, it is much easier for him to keep a supply than it is for
him to go out looking for another source of supply. He simply wants
to bring his supply back into his control. Then the vicious cycle
will begin again.
The narcissist seeks to evoke reactions in others. The narcissist's supply does not always have to provide him with positive attention. If the narcissist is able to invoke negative emotions in someone then that is fine with him. As long as he can trigger an individual to respond to either his behavior or his verbalizations then he is satisfied. He desires attention whether it is positive or negative.
The narcissist is not in touch with
his emotions. Therefore, he does not care how he hurts others. He
does not see others as human beings with feelings and needs. He has
no empathy for others and cares only for himself. The narcissist
never completely lets go of any individual he has found that can
provide him with narcissistic supply until he finds that he can no
longer stir up any type of sensation in that person whether it be
positive or negative. Only then will the narcissist let go. Or, if
the narcissist finds a better source of narcissistic supply he will
quickly throw you away.”
Source: Say no to Narcissism
Cheers
The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics
Anonymous)
