The voice of experience....

“Hallo chaps

Thanks for all you do

I write this in a fit of writing pique on reading a piece in The [F]Ix and wondered whether it may be of any use or relevance to the AA cult watch site?

Regards and fellowship ….... _____________________________

I got sober in 1985 and used to frequent meetings around Pont Street [popular with the cult back then] etc.

I was crazy coming in but I still retained some type of innate smarts about the peeps I was meeting in AA. I wanted AA to be full of angels and after going on 30 years continuous sobriety I realise exactly what AA is, which for me is very helpful

Around that time I met the very creepy David B, possibly around 1986 or 1987 I think. He asked me if I had a sponsor and I blanked him. I remember going to meets where I felt very creeped out by the goody-goody vibes and the automaton responses to various dodgy guys, including the celebrated David B. I think there was a portly American there called Frank [now a Clancy acolyte], who was also hero worshipped and generally revered. There was a type of collective orgasm every time this guy shared and he sounded like he self worshipped his pronouncements as well, a happy family of yes men in recovery. All lapping up the same robotic responses.

It's funny but where I live now, I know a guy that sponsored David B before he got "famous" in AA as a Joys promoter and thus elevated himself to a much higher ground than the average AA goer.

I did not know back then I was dealing with bonkers "Joy boys" as we subsequently  called them but soon found out and continued to get sober well away from this arrant nonsense.

One of the things I have noticed strongly in AAs ( both male and female) is that as soon as they get a bit of sober time, is the overarching need to control everything around them.

The Big Book speaks of this phenom (??) I believe in the Chapter 5 [pp. 60-62] segmen [sic]

........begin quote.....
Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.......end quote.....

This rigidity and control is a defining and common factor that I became aware of pretty early on. The self proclaimed experts in AA deciding what course people's meds should take for example, the would be doctors in AA with a few years ( if that) early recovery. All of this coming from people usually not gifted with great intellect and in many cases seemingly downright thick.

The "joys" people have generally dwindled in the area of the UK (Sussex) where I live. Their obnoxious antics at Intergroup and time wasting drivel has produced nothing locally, except rancour and tedious boredom.

Another individual called Dennis from Ealing, London popped up in Sussex a couple/few years back and was laughably and totally insane.

He did his "hopping for Joy" routine which made my skin crawl at this ludicrously oblivious tosser who is obviously suffering with borderline ( or more pronounced) mental health issues.

What is alarming, is the potential effect of this junk on newcomers to the rooms; a supposed haven for the broken and the needy.

I have stayed sober in AA in spite of certain things .......joy boys, control freaks, sociopaths, rude individuals who think they can take the mick, abusive cross sharing and over the years I have seen loads of that. Passive aggression dressed up as cross talk in AA rooms.

I have also benefitted from good AA friends (very few though) an initial good non-control freak sponsor and my own inability to KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid and other abuse laden crap doled out by you guessed it - the truly stupid).

AA is a potentially great fellowship, marred by many inner (cultic?) forces attempting to impose their own agendas, I hope it survives and I am sure it should and will.

However; if God forbid it did get riven and broken from within, I believe my recovery could continue and stay and develop without it as it is not my Higher Power.

I'm not perfect and have a hopefully healthy view of AA unvarnished by sentiment or over optimism. I am also glad I came in pre- treatment centre era too.

Anyway here's to some good days ahead for one and all.”

Comment: None needed really but all very familiar! And the above section on control freaks in Chapter Five should be made compulsory reading for our cult friends!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

PS Thanks to our contributor