Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship 

Extract:

"Should sponsor and newcomer be as much alike as possible?

Often, a newcomer feels most at ease with a sponsor of similar background and interests. However, many A.A.s say they were greatly helped by sponsors totally unlike themselves. Maybe that’s because their attention was then focused on the most important things that any sponsor and newcomer have in common: alcoholism and recovery in A.A.

A.A. experience does suggest that it is best for men to sponsor men, women to sponsor women. This custom usually helps our members stay focused on the A.A. program. Some gay men and lesbians feel an opposite-sex sponsor is more appropriate for similar reasons.

Must the newcomer agree with everything the sponsor says?

No. If the sponsor’s ideas sound strange or unclear, the newcomer had better speak up and ask questions. Theirs is supposed to be an easy, open relationship, in which both parties talk freely and honestly with each other.

The A.A. program is simple, but it didn’t seem that way to many of us at first. Often, we learned by asking questions, at closed meetings or — most especially — in conversations with our sponsors.

What if the sponsor is unavailable when needed?

It is the whole A.A. program — not the individual’s sponsor — that maintains the newcomer’s sobriety. Sponsorship is just the best way we know of introducing a newcomer to the program and helping them continue in A.A.

So we have many recourses when we are unable to contact our sponsors. We can telephone other members; go to an A.A. meeting; phone or visit the nearest A.A. office or clubroom for sober alcoholics; read A.A. books or pamphlets or our magazine, the A.A. Grapevine, to find answers for almost any problem troubling us at the moment.

May a newcomer have more than one sponsor?

Many feel it is best for a newcomer to have only one sponsor. Choosing one sponsor helps to avoid the precarious practice of a newcomer going from

sponsor to sponsor seeking the advice he or she wants to hear."

(our emphases – in bold print)

Comment: It occurs to us that AA has arrived at a pretty sad state of affairs where it has proven necessary to discuss some of these questions at all. But the proliferation of the directive and indeed abusive style of 'cult' sponsorship within the fellowship has meant that newcomers increasingly need some form of guidance and protection from the former's draconian practices. For example should it really be necessary to advise people that they have the 'right' to question what a sponsor says or even disagree with them! This in itself gives some indication of the extent to which AA has become corrupted by these malign influences. Of course a new member may question what is 'suggested' to them. Joining AA does not imply an abrogation of one's human rights including the right to independent thought, the right to have an opinion, the right to exercise one's own judgement, the right to make one's own decisions (and mistakes), and finally the right to be free! Of course like all rights these had to be – and have to be - fought for. There will always exist those whose own inadequately developed personalities compel them to seek to undermine others' fundamental freedoms. But the effects of their deficiencies must not be allowed to predominate! According to the AA preamble an AA member may simply share their “experience, strength and hope” with others to their mutual advantage. No more than that is required! No monitoring of other members' recovery is needed, no 'exams' to be passed, no assessments made, no 'study courses' to be completed, no hoops to be jumped through or hurdles crossed! It's not even necessary to aspire to someone else's recovery. If yours suits you it's good enough!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)