The 'chit' system - we've had a bit of a wheeze!

Who'd've thought it? You could have knocked us down with a feather (or similar light appendage) when we came up with this piece of pure genius! After pondering at length (about five minutes) the whole probation 'chit' problem we came up with a solution in what seemed like a flash of inspiration! (spiritual awakening perhaps!). Why not automate the whole thing?

Here's how it works. All you need to do is set up a website forum/AA meeting (with individual log-in and anonymous user ids). The 'client' is issued with their own unique user code by the probation service thereby preserving their anonymity but otherwise identifiable by the appropriate authority. Their log in and log out times can be recorded to ensure they meet their weekly attendance quota (online). This information is automatically generated and communicated to the monitoring station (eg. probation) thereby excluding the need for any human being (let alone AA member) having to fulfil the authentication function. Moreover whilst 'attending' the site the 'client' (oops sorry …. AA member) can be conducted through a tick-box questionnaire to ensure they have a thorough grasp of the recovery programme. Such methods are already widely employed so it should be a simple matter to adapt these accordingly. As each section of the text ('Big Book') is read (and the appropriate responses indicated) this can be confirmed using an online form demonstrating completion of that section before the next one is commenced. The steps can be 'taken” similarly as they arise at various points within the text. At each stage in the process a 'certificate' can be generated and similarly despatched to that same monitoring authority to serve as later accreditation. An option might be made available for the AA member to receive a hard copy via their respective probation service (on fancy paper perhaps with a gold seal attached). Of course there will be certain additional costs associated with this provision but these can be defrayed with a modest administrative charge (otherwise known as a 'voluntary contribution'). We reckon using this method we can get someone through the programme in maybe twelve (possibly fewer) sessions or in as little as a day.

In fact we think this method is applicable to everyone regardless of their legal status. Just think! You could cut out all that sitting around in draughty church halls listening to some old geezer banging on about his/her drinking days. Or even worse having to endure yet another rendition of 'happy, joyous and free' and 'my sponsor says ….' from the Visions/Step Nazi freaks as they belt out another verse from their hackneyed litany. As for the Primary Purpose/Back to Basics' brigade this should see them off for good and no mistake! They're old hat and way behind the times! The more we think about it the more the possibilities unfold. You could even have a grading system maybe a bit like the Scientology mob (but with more oomph to it!). Firstly you could have plain 'dry drunks' on the bottommost rung, then upgrading to 'sober', then 'spiritual', ending up finally with 'rocketed'. People could be whisked through the programme and once they'd reached the heady heights of the 'maintenance' steps (10, 11 and 12) these similarly could be automatically generated online using a 'smart' interface. Ongoing Step 10 inventories could be adapted from the initial Step Four and Five (the latter being conducted via a 'Turing' dialogue session) and condensed down into another 'tick box' format. For Step 11 your personalised programme could include a automatic Step 3, Step 7, St Francis Prayer and Serenity Prayer played back via the site every hour on the hour (a bit like the Tibetan prayer wheel system) together with a 'Thought for the Day' which covers the meditation bit. Even better when it comes to Step 12 templated automatic email messages could be sent to yet another automatically generated list of 'newcomers' provided by the email responders service. “Carrying the message” could never be easier! We reckon this system could do away with sponsors altogether (or any kind of 'personality') together with the need for 'meetings after the meeting' (chats in cafes etc) and all the other old fashioned distractions. Indeed alcoholics could be 'recovered' without the need for any kind of human contact. Of course there would continue to be 'relapsers' but these could simply log in like everybody else, tick the“relapsed” box, have their 'programme' reset, and simply begin the whole thing again. Couldn't be simpler!

Naturally the idea is still at the development stage and needs to be refined but the basics are all there. Even better we reckon there's some scope to 'monetise' the whole thing and make it entirely 'self supporting' (with even a little bit of a surplus generated to defray the expenses of the designers/administrators etc eg. doing presentations, hotel stays, meals, travel, entertainment, 'sundries' etc. But what's the harm in that! This could be included under the 'prudent reserve' item in our accounts!

Now you should know that we've already slapped a copyright on this so we don't want any of you buggers out there trying to jump the gun! Hands off is what we say! Everyone's got to make a living! Eh!

Cheerio

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous …... and entrepreneurs extraordinaires!)