Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship

Extract:

“For the person wanting to be a sponsor

How does sponsorship help the sponsor?

Sponsorship strengthens the older member’s sobriety. The act of sharing sobriety makes it easier for a member to live without alcohol. By helping others, alcoholics find that they help themselves.

Sponsorship also offers the satisfaction that comes from assuming responsibility for someone other than oneself. In a very real sense, it fills the need, felt by most human beings, to help others over rough spots. 

Can any member be a sponsor?

There is no superior class or caste of sponsors in A.A. Any member can help the newcomer learn to cope with life without resorting to alcohol in any form.

In most instances, A.A. custom does suggest one limitation, already noted on page 10: If the group is large enough to allow a choice, sponsor and newcomer be of the same sex. The reasons are the same from both viewpoints; we A.A. Members, no matter how long we have been sober, remain thoroughly human, subject to emotions that might divert us from “our primary purpose.”

When is a member ready for sponsorship responsibility?

Our primary purpose is to carry the message of A.A. to the alcoholic who still suffers. A.A. Members who have actually worked the Steps of A.A. as a way to attain sobriety, are often in the best position to share their experience, strength and hope. The most successful sponsors seem to be men and women who have been in A.A. Long enough to have a good understanding of the A.A. program outlined in the Twelve Steps. Many of us think it wise to seek advice from our own sponsors about when we may be ready to take on the responsibility of sponsoring another alcoholic.

The member who has been sober for months or years is usually — but not always — able to work more effectively with newcomers than the members whose experience is limited to only a few weeks or days. Thus, length of sobriety is a factor, but not the only factor, in successful sponsorship. 

Just as importantly, the sponsor should have capacity for understanding, patience, and the willingness to devote time and effort to new members.”

(our emphases)

Comment: Note the definitions of “responsibility” indicated in the above link:

“1. Liable to be required to give account, as of one's actions or of the discharge of a duty or trust

2. Involving personal accountability or ability to act without guidance or superior authority

3. Being a source or cause

4. Able to make moral or rational decisions on one's own and therefore answerable for one's behaviour

5. Able to be trusted or depended upon; reliable

6. Based on or characterized by good judgement or sound thinking”

Clearly not a task to be undertaken lightly or carelessly and therefore only after due reflection. The above also implies that an 'assembly line' (ie. cult) approach to sponsorship simply will not suffice. It is not unusual for example for cult 'experts' to be sponsoring people in double figures. This conduct, in our view, represents the complete antithesis of the advice given, especially so in light of the definition.

Finally it's always worth remembering: NO sponsorship is ALWAYS better than bad sponsorship (especially 'cult sponsorship'). And sponsorship is NOT one of the essentials for recovery!

Note: “same sex” sponsorship clearly does not always apply!

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)