Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (contd)

The AA (General Service conference approved) booklet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship 

Extract:

“What does a sponsor do and not do?

• A sponsor does everything possible, within the limits of personal experience and knowledge, to help the newcomer get sober and stay sober through the A.A. program.

• Shows by present example and drinking history what A.A. has meant in the sponsor’s life.

• Encourages and helps the newcomer to attend a variety of A.A. meetings — to get a number of viewpoints and interpretations of the A.A. program.

• Suggests keeping an open mind about A.A. If the newcomer isn’t sure at first whether he or she is an alcoholic.

• Introduces the newcomer to other members.

• Sees that the newcomer is aware of A.A. Literature, in particular the Big Book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and Grapevine, As Bill Sees It, Living Sober, and suitable pamphlets.

• Is available to the newcomer when the latter has special problems.

• Goes over the meaning of the Twelve Steps, and emphasizes their importance.

• Urges the newcomer to join in group activities as soon as possible.

• Impresses upon the newcomer the importance of all our Traditions.

• Tries to give the newcomer some picture of the scope of A.A., beyond the group, and directs attention to A.A. literature about the history of the Fellowship, the Three Legacies, the service structure, and the worldwide availability of A.A. — wherever the newcomer may go.

• Explains the program to relatives of the alcoholic, if this appears to be useful, and tells them about Al-Anon Family Groups and Alateen.

• Quickly admits, “I don’t know” when that is the case, and helps the newcomer find a good source of information.

• The sponsor encourages the newcomer to work with other alcoholics as soon as possible, and sometimes begins by taking the newcomer along on Twelfth Step calls.

• Never takes the newcomer’s inventory except when asked.

• Never tries to impose personal views on the newcomer. A good sponsor who is an atheist does not try to persuade a religious newcomer to abandon faith, nor does a religious sponsor argue theological matters with an agnostic newcomer.

• Does not pretend to know all the answers, and does not keep up a pretense of being right all the time.

• An A.A. sponsor does not offer professional services such as those provided by counselors, the legal, medical or social work comunities, but may sometimes help the newcomer to access professional help if assistance outside the scope of A.A. is needed.

The sponsor underscores the fact that it is the A.A. recovery program — not the sponsor’s personality or position — that is important. Thus, the newcomer learns to rely on the A.A. program, not on the sponsor. A sponsor well grounded in the A.A. program will not be offended if the newcomer goes to other A.A. members for additional guidance or even decides to change sponsors.”

(our emphases)

Comment: Note our extensive use of emphases in the above extract. This is primarily for the benefit of 'cult' sponsors who tend to do the precise opposite. These 'control freaks' frequently present themselves as being the font of all knowledge, more than happy to give advice and express opinions on matters where they remain entirely ignorant. Similarly their public image is frequently at odds with their private conduct. Leading by example in cult circles is usually something of a fraud.

Cult members rarely encourage their newer recruits (ie. newcomers) to visit other AA meetings other than those which form part of the cult circuit. There is only one perspective they are interested in disseminating – theirs, which mostly consists of the sponsor as Higher Power ie. what we refer to as “sponsorship idolatry”. The last thing a cult sponsor wants to do is suggest keeping an open mind about AA. AA (not their version) within cult circles is generally regarded as something of a 'wash out', weak and corrupt, and carrying a 'diluted' message.

When it comes to AA literature cult sponsors will generally disparage the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (written by Bill Wilson, a co-founder, some years after he had got sober). This is a more mature reflection on the Steps (and Traditions) than that presented in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' (Big Book), the former discussion based on a more developed and solidly grounded experience of recovery. This more sober exegesis of the subject contrasts with the somewhat ebullient if not downright misleading exposition found in the original text; a little less 'rocketed into a fourth dimension' and a bit more down to earth or, as we put it - life is not Disneyland.. nor is recovery!

As for “Tries to give the newcomer some picture of the scope of A.A., beyond the group” see above. Similarly for “Quickly admits, “I don’t know””.

Cult sponsors make something of a speciality of taking their charges' inventories – preferably at every opportunity that presents itself. How else do you 'groom' your victims other than by undermining them at every twist and turn in their recovery. Remember: “Always do what your sponsor tells you” etc etc. As for not imposing personal views forget it! The cult's whole ethos is based on the inverted (and perverted) principle of “personalities before principles”. Under this regime there is little scope for an objective viewpoint let alone allowing the newcomer to exercise their own judgement or arrive at their own conclusions. Sponsor always knows best!

“Does not pretend to know all the answers, and does not keep up a pretense of being right all the time.” (see above).

When it comes to offering advice we frequently hear of newcomers being pressured by their cult sponsors NOT to seek help from counsellors, GPs etc. These professionals are frequently presented as offering contradictory advice which will only serve to undermine the purity of the AA recovery program. Some newcomers have died as a result of this narrow-minded, dogma driven approach. Finally, as we have demonstrated above, the cult sponsorship system attempts to make the sponsee entirely dependent on the sponsor. At best this represents a form of co-dependency, at worst nothing less than severe emotional, psychological, and on some occasions physical (ie. sexual) abuse.

Cheers

The Fellas (Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous)

(to be continued)